I'm trying to find a therapist who can actually offer guidance around ADHD and I'm getting super frustrated. It's been two years I've been shopping around. I was supposed to have a second online session with someone this week (our first session was two weeks ago because I was away last week). Scheduling the second session was super confusing and I admitted to feeling overwhelmed and not doing my best. She repeated herself but never followed up to confirm. Then this week rolls around I don't have it my calendar but I'm pretty sure it's the 6th and then this morning get a meeting invite for 5th. "Oh, snap. Glad I got this early otherwise I would have been at work." (I freelance from a studio without internet, so I can make up my own hours but I'm kind of stuck once I'm out there.)
Then a little while ago I come across the note I made from our first session that says we're meeting on the 6th. So I email them an hour before the invite time to check. Nothing. After logging on for the meeting time and getting a "host will let you in soon" message for 10 minutes I realize they're not coming. Then they email a couple minutes after that saying, "sorry for the error. yes it's tomorrow." And when I ask "could we still meet today? I moved my whole day around." I get, "No, I'm with a patient now. There's an earlier time tomorrow but that's about it."
Now I'm sitting here in the middle of the afternoon just fuming because I'm facing the prospect of losing an extra day of work my first week back. I feel like in the past I'd have been super understanding (mistakes happen right? I mean, *I* should have checked sooner when I lost my notes, right?) but now I feel like: No. You don't get to be an ADHD therapist and not provide necessary support around the fact that ADHD have a hard time with scheduling and transitions. It's not the same for us when we have to change our routine or get ready for something like therapy. I struggled to get things done before this meeting. Now, I'm anxious and struggling to come down and figure out what to do next now that it's been cancelled. I'm flooded with "should's" around how to address and prepare for getting something (or possibly nothing!) done tomorrow. It's so annoying! And to have someone who doesn't even know that could be the impact on an ADHDer, well, it feels extra awful.
(I'm also a little unsoothed by the idea that they seem to be looking at emails and responding *while* they're with a patient. Seriously?)
I'm exhausted and I can't tell if my frustration is getting the better of me, or if this person has already shown the limits of what consideration they're able to offer an ADHD client. On the one hand, I don't want to waste time and money moving forward (again!) with someone who doesn't know ADHD and who can't effectively help me. On the other, I'm tired of going back to the drawing board and I don't even know if I'll be able to find any more therapists to try.
I don't know. Humans make mistakes, but I think I need someone who can at least recognize what the potential cost is for me when something like this happens. Has anyone been here before?
***Note : I really appreciate everyone who's weighed in! I should clarify, this is a therapist for couples counselling. They wanted to have an individual session with each of us before the next joint session. That's where the scheduling and everything started to go off the rails. I was trying to be discrete by keeping it vague but I realize now that there's a big difference between finding a primary therapist versus finding a couples therapist when you already have a good primary therapist (which, is my case, luckily).