Loneliness : Having adhd, how can we... - CHADD's Adult ADH...

CHADD's Adult ADHD Support

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JW621 profile image

Having adhd, how can we explain to others our difficulties. Our intentions are from the bottom of our hearts but our actions at times makes us too difficult for others to understand. I just want to express my sadness. Please reply I am in need of support. Thank you

7 Replies

Hello! I am only 18 and I just started college. I left most of my friends and family behind. The only people who understood me and knew how I processed information are now 9 hours away. I'm feeling lonely and I'm trying to figure out how to tell people how I feel as well. I've found that using analogies helps others understand the struggle. I am all ears if you want to talk about any specific issues, if not, that's totally fine as well. I hear you, and I hope I can help! :)

JW621 profile image
JW621 in reply to rjpegrape

Thank you for the reply. Loneliness is not just about being alone. I am going through a divorce and I was lonely with her. I just want to express myself and have someone understand my emotions. The adhd makes it difficult for me to obtain a relationship

This is tough stuff. Hopefully you have a therapist. You are going through a divorce and you felt lonely in the relationship - that's a lot. You are likely grieving the loss of this relationship and feeling like you were betrayed or wondering why you tried to stick it out. Try and find an online groups. Be active, change your focus, watch your self-talk, and try making your self-talk as loving and comforting as possible. Change your inner narrative to one of support and self-love.

JW621 profile image
JW621 in reply to lodopo

That was great advice. Thank you

This is going to sound really weird, but the most common problem with conversations and connecting with people is that we don't listen enough. "We" are so eager for someone else to hear us and understand us that we want to do all the talking and none of the listening.

You can't control if someone is willing to open their hearts/minds and really listen, empathize and understand you. However, you are 100% in control of doing exactly that for them. You can connect with someone else by understanding them better. By listening, empathizing, asking questions and truly trying to learn how it feels to be them. How it feels to go through their experiences and live their life.

A definite side benefit to all of that, is that by knowing them better, when the time comes to try and explain your own feelings and life, you now have a deep understanding of the other person, so it will make it so much easier to give examples from their own past to help them to understand you. Also, if they feel truly understood by you, then it will make them more open to trying to understand you in return.

JW621 profile image
JW621 in reply to BTV65

Thank you

JW621 profile image
JW621 in reply to BTV65

So true

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