Help with withdrawel: My friend has... - CHADD's Adult ADH...

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Help with withdrawel

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My friend has ADHD and withdraws when overwhelmed. We discused some ways that I can best help them. However, I think I tried to achieve too much and now they withdrew again. We discussed that I would give them space when this happens but that I can still message them. However, they finally gave me some concrete tasks that I can help them with but now I feel helples as the withdrawel does not allow me to execute the tasks that they deligated to me, which will only make them feel even more overwhelmed. Does anyone have tips or tools that could help me help them when they feel that they can bear contact again?

10 Replies

Hi there friend,I just want to say how good a mate you are concerning your adhd pal.But you've not mentioned the type of projects you've been given.I take it collaborating with your pal is a no no.As long as youre honest about the difficulties with the job in hand,your mate cannot ask for anymore.Try to keep the lines of contact open cos your mate sounds like they need you a lot.

Thanks Jjflash! They asked me to take over some communication with friends and family (replying to text messages) and to help with some (financial) administration. I was going over to their house at least once a week and talked on the phone almost daily, but for now that stopped because of their withdrawel and I don't want them to "sink deeper".

Friend,I know your pal is in a dark place but I hope your mate appreciates what you're doing.Being a go between tho means you could end up getting it from both sides.I know you care about your mate a lot but I also hope you being a mediator doesn't put too much pressure on you also.Your heart is clearly in the right place tho Friend.Best of luck and tread carefully F.

Thanks!

Cbd oil is helping me regulate my emotions. It also helps me sleep. It might help your friend to not feel so overwhelmed.

Thanks! I know they looked into this before but never bought it. I can definitely ask if they want to try this.

Hi. It's really great that you are willing to help them. It could be that the intensity involved is a bit much. It may be that part of what will help is some boundary setting. As you're helping them reply to texts from others, it may be that those people are texting a lot. Maybe there needs to be a boundary set for them to text less often (so that there is less of this for the ADHD person to manage, even with your help). I am an introvert, so I know that I need more time to recharge and don't need so much contact with others. This may also be the case with your friend.

Hi! Thanks for the advice. For now, we responded to some that they can get in touch with me so I can filter some messages. But maybe we indeed need to set some boundries for others.

Have you heard of "Boundaries" by Cloud and Townsend? I'm supposed to be reading one of their other books, and I know they are well respected in the field. Best wishes!

I have not. I will look it up. Thanks!

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