A little help: I’m losing this fight... - CHADD's Adult ADH...

CHADD's Adult ADHD Support

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A little help

ForeverBroken profile image

I’m losing this fight with Adult ADD. I have slowly made my world small so I don’t have to feel the pain of another person abandoning me again. Of course with this is the overwhelming depression. I’ve tried controlling it, ignoring it, telling myself it just takes will power but I lose every single time. I don’t even know how to get help and if I do, how will the diagnoses and what I tell a therapist affect my life? If I told someone what I really felt, what I was really going through I’m afraid they would lock me up.

11 Replies

Hey foreverbroken,thanks for posting your message on site.I don't know your story bar this message but try not to shut everyone out.I know things are difficult for you at the moment but if your very closest friend in the world came to see you as a friend with your ailments,yu would do anything to ease their pain.Now with you,if you write down on a piece of paper about your struggles,on the other side right down every possible solution or way out of each problem.Firstly,just to speak to a stranger via samaritans or something similar,these people won't judge you cos they don't know yu.You mite find this the best way to ease your mind in the short term.Keep working down your solution ideas and speak to the relevant people.Thats what they're here for.Keep posting on here about your progress and get yourself in a better place ok.Get the real you back in these trying times.Good luck with your recovery.

Thank you

I feel ya. The past 2 years bar none worst in my 61 years. I have also tightened my group to avoid conversation that I’m too depressed to have. Let’s see got fired from my good paying job. Opened a retail shop which nearly killed me from working so many hours. COVID forced me to close and lose my investment. Got another job got fired from that one. Had an ADD diagnosis for long time but went on adderall for major depression. And anxiety crippled me Husband is sick of me. After 35 years he wants a divorce great timing. My only biological daughter decides to let substances take the place of my two beautiful grandchildren and my only joy. They are gone with their dad. Not having great success with job search. Broke what else? I feel ya. Tell therapist if you are have suicidal ideation they won’t lick you up unless you have a plan good luck

I have had Adhd and Dyslexia my she life. My father has it as well, when my father got social security disability He should had put me on his account below him, but he did not. I've had the most worst struggles. not knowing if I am good enough, knot knowing if I am smart enough. but Only we ourself hold the key to our world. I am glad my father did not out me under him, because I would not of had the strength to Learn an dto continue learning. I love learning, reading writing. I am a HomeCare Worker for Oregon. I am almost CNA ready. yes it is hard work, yes it does take our brains more time to process. We have to learn at our own pace. You are not alone girl.

I am 36 years old. my 2 teens have ADD, except my son has Social anxiety compulsive disorder. He has issues going in public. His body randomly just starts shaking and tingling, anger, cries while shaking. He does not do much of anything. he hides in his room. and never wants to come out. Every now and than be as t to go to skate park.

I love with all my heart and I give alot more than I should to others. but that's who I am. I am Gemini, I am also very spiritual. Do you ever look into what your astrology sign is ? Learning all about me and who I am has helped me . My horoscope I receive on daily has never been wrong, My day has always been on point. i do not read my horoscope until night time. on some days. but I read it some mornings if I want to know what the day brings.

There is a horoscope in Fb messenger called Magic horocope. find your sign and sign up. it's a nice to have. Most likely it will bring your attitude up also. also. go on POF.com You can find yourself either a friend or a date, get to know people. You may never know who you will click with until u do. :)

It sounds as if you are being therapy avoidant.

At this stage - what have you got to lose?

With regards to a therapist reccomending you are "locked up"

1) they will want to try to help you themselves

2) suicidal thoughts are common with therapy patients - therapists are used to dealing with these.

3) they probably want your money and continued custom! Why would they send you away!

Try some counselling. Make sure it's a person you like.

Good luck. Seems to be good advice shared here.

Take care

hey you, sounds like u r experiencing the downward spiral n domino effect of negativity. i think everyone in this group has been there so you are not alone or experiencing anything rare or unheard of. nothing you say will shock a trained therapist. people typically go to therapy when they feel low not when happy! lol so no need to worry about that. your brain is being hijacked by depression right now so relying on your own brain to pull you out of the depression probably isnt realistic.

if the thought of reaching out to a therapist is too unbearable- would you consider calling a crisis hotline? depression is a bitch and it can become our whole identity if we dont keep it in check all the time. the trick is to recognize n try to take steps to avoid it because if we dont- and it creeps in, then it is SOOOO difficult to get out of. ugh. but you already know that because you are in the throws of it right now. what have you done in the past to pull out of your depression? will any of those things maybe help again?

you got this❤️

Dear ForeverBroken,

I'm thinking of you today and sending you everything that I can muster so that you can make a call to get a therapist. I've only been diagnosed with ADHD in my 40's and having a therapist to spill my thoughts and feelings about my diagnosis, reorganizing my thoughts and memories (because those past failures were influenced a lot by my undiagnosed ADHD), and taking steps to better understand myself. I'm also taking antidepressants and have just begun stimulant meds, which also have helped tremendously.

Please take care and if you really are in a dark place, please call a hotline to talk to someone: 800-273-8255.

As said by wtfadhd, you got this!

We all have had the worst time with this COVID pandemic and shelter in place - makes getting out to do thinags and meeting folks more difficult. Nut you are obviously depressed and have ADHD or so you say - and these are common co- morbifities. For Goodness sake get some therapy ASAP- No the therapist do not just want to lock you up unless you are a threat to yourself or others in terrms of physical harm, They are there to help sort fact from fiction and make life work better. Get some on some antidepedressants and meds to ADHD if required. And join support group on goingly.

right now you are in mist of major depressionon - negative thoughts are terrible habits- we are used to them - Thearly helps you to confront and challange them and not to have social anxietty and get out there . No one can help you if you do not want help but just by sending your notes says you realize you are in a bad an parinoid place -

Beaten down by my own family because of my lack of control, being humiliated by parents and relatives, peers in school beat the heck out of me while others laughed and not understanding what was wrong with me drove me into deep depression. Finding good/better friends, support in people who understood there were problems, finally the right diagnosis of anxiety and ADHD helped me to make a bunch of tiny changes which led into the pretty big one, confidence. Early on I had to develop a lot of tools on my own to exist, then with exercise (which I chose worked for me) therapy and medication I am motivated and happy today. I never saw a light at the end of the tunnel until one day I did and it was as though weights were taken off my shoulders! I guess what I am saying is baby steps; make a small change and see that you can do it and when you do, it motivates you to do another step and hopefully over time you will find ways to cope with your ADD and it then affects your life positively. I am an adult who took 30+ years to get it together so do not be rushed and maybe it will be a lot less time for you to be where you want to be by getting the right diagnosis and put a plan together. I do not know your severity but I do want you to know it will be alright. Good luck.

dear forever broken,i agree with all the replies above mine, yes the negativity that hit you like a boulder is really bad. I've been diagnosed with adhd 3 months ago at the age of 54, now when looking back on my years of co-dependency, disfunction, divorce, depression and all the other issues that are so attached to adhd i knew that something was wrong but us adhd people fight the shame, that everything is okay on the outside, but the deep deep hurt eat us up every day. yes you have to see a therapist, and please post here any time, all of us are here for each other, fighting the discrimination and misinformation about adhd

I have self-isolated and I still tend toward preferring to be alone. Prior to my ADHD diagnosis, my observation is that my self-isolation was an attempt to insulate myself from further embarrassment and shame. No matter the reason, the causation of self-isolating in my world has been "shame." Feelings of embarrassment exposed me to self-doubt so severe that it never ceased. By self-isolating, I thought I could mitigate the derivative impacts of my ADD.

So, It ok to want to be alone, but understand this is a derivative impact of your ADHD.

You need to understand why you self-isolate. Locate a therapist that specializes in ADHD. I assume that you are fighting, depression and anxiety, these are also derivatives of ADHD.

A decent therapist will treat you for anxiety, then possibly depression, and then attempt to pair you with an ADHD med, all of this should be paired with serious cognitive therapy.

Another modality that I have found success with is EMDR; you'll want a well-trained practitioner when adding the EMDR.

The first step is to see a therapist or your doctor. Tell them what you are experiencing, explain how it impacts your life.

Good luck, once you start the process you'll gain a better understanding of what you are attempting to confront. Self-education and patience will come in handy.

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