Getting Tired: I just wanted to express... - CHADD's Adult ADH...

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Getting Tired

KaiaM profile image

I just wanted to express my disappointment in the mental health system, I’ve had a referral for a psychiatrist since January of 2021. They just called me today to make an appointment... for October 2021.

I know there are people ahead of me who need help, I know we’re low on doctors and psychiatrists. But in the months between then and now, I’ve used the suicide hotline and crisis text line like 4 times. I wish we had the resources for people to take mental health concerns as seriously and urgently as we feel them 😣

11 Replies

Dear KaiaM,

You are right. We are the lo on doctors and psychiatrists. However, your situation is entirely unacceptable by any standards. I’ve seen these kinds of wait times in my county in the public health system. But I’ve also seen the same county resources turn this around with simple changes in operations and the addition of a few psychiatrists.

I’m wondering if you have public or private insurance. Do you have a general practitioner? I’ll be aware of how intense your situation is? Is that who gave you the referral? Are they willing to intervene on your behalf by contacting the psychiatry service that you have the appointment with? It’s your psychiatrist so practitioner a part of a larger group? Are they a member of the same health organization that your GP is? I’m looking for the point of leverage that you may have in terms of applying some pressure. You’re going to need to be a very loud and squeaky wheel in advocating for yourself. You need to start with your GP and work your way up the food chain. If I knew your insurance and psychiatric practice situation I might be able to point you in a few directions. You don’t want psychiatric emergency services to be your main option and you clearly want/need more care than a crisis line can provide.

It’s not fair and it’s not right for the person who is sick to be left to flail against the system for his- or herself or to give up from exhaustion. But you have to fight for yourself any way.

Please take hope and take action. I’ll watch to see if you share more about your healthcare providers.

Best wishes,


KaiaM , where in Canada are you located? Not sure if Neurolancer is in Canada, but their questions are certainly still relevant. I'm in Ontario. I know there can be structural differences from province to province, but pending your answers to Neurolancer's questions, I'll try to help in what way I can. I had my referral to psychiatrist (after confirmation of ADHD diagnosis by psychologist) in mid February and my appointment was scheduled for a SATURDAY, April 24. I know my region is underserviced but it sounds like yours is even more so :(

In addition to psychiatrist, a psychologist (if you can afford and/or have some coverage) or a counsellor could be really, really helpful for you to make it until you're able to see the pyschiatrist. Unfortunately there will likely be a wait for that as well but hopefully more in the range of 1 month, or 2 max. As someone with depression, the 2 years I spent with a psychologist was indescribably helpful for me.

KaiaM profile image
KaiaM in reply to Neurolancer

Thank you so much for your reply, I am in a public health system in BC Canada. I had some strenuating circumstances that required me to move from Vancouver, where there’s more access to public health services (still not enough), to Southern Okanagan, where I can only get service from a town over. My GP is still back on the coast, so we do over the phone visits as I can’t get a doctor here. The psychiatrist in the town over only works once a week on Thursdays, when I had called to inquire about when I’d be seeing him in March, they said they were still working on referrals from October of 2020.

When I explained that I was in serious trouble and I didn’t think I could wait that long, they told me my best bet is to get myself in the emergency room. I took that the wrong way, and it made me upset that I would have to try to kill myself to get help- I don’t think this is what they meant, but my sick brain could only take it that way.

My doctor and I have started medications to treat a wide range of symptoms, but without psychiatric intervention here she’s not sure whats gonna help one thing and hurt another. In the meantime, I’m seeing a counsellor that I was referred to. She’s good, but she’s a practicum student and she can only provide me with 9 weeks of service, which we are already more than halfway through. Otherwise, I cannot afford private counselling.

I have no idea what options I have left, the psychiatrist and my counsellor are a part of the same organization, but my doctor had a hell of a time even finding where my referral could go. It got rejected by 2 of the places she tried to get me in because of distance, and my town has a population of 3500 and no resources for such things.

Thanks again for your help

BatWoman87 profile image
BatWoman87 in reply to KaiaM

Ughh, that sounds really tough.

I looked into this website to use filters for accessing free therapy services, for after your current student's sessions end.

Using the website and filters, I found this place with free services:

It's targeted towards anxiety and depression but I'm sure they could help a bit. Have you checked them out? It looks like perhaps the online support group might be free... not sure.

KaiaM profile image
KaiaM in reply to BatWoman87

Thank you so much!! I’ll check these out, I do struggle with anxiety and depression so that’s very helpful for me! This site has turned out to be a great resource to me because of awesome people like you 😊

That is completely unacceptable!!!! Our healthcare system really sucks!!! I am looking for new psychiatrists and sending emails almost daily! Mental health is important, and it cannot wait!!! I recommend in the meantime (tho you shouldn’t have to), you keep reaching out to other doctors, searching online until you find someone who cares....

The only time I have gotten any real help is when I advocated for myself. I have had to fight the system so much regarding ADHD, mental health, and reproductive issues. I’m still fighting. I trust very few. No one takes me seriously. I understand wanting to give up. I’m tired, too.

KaiaM profile image
KaiaM in reply to Gem1n1

We shouldn’t have to fight like this! I feel lucky that I’m still in a place mentally where I can keep at this, but I also feel that that drive may come grinding to a halt if things get bad again. People shouldn’t have to battle their sickness so hard to get treatment for it. expecting people with ADHD, depression, or anxiety etc to advocate so hard for themselves to get treatment is counter productive. We are the people who struggle to do every day things, and have issues with self worth that may get in the way of someone actively seeking out treatment. Mental health treatments are not neurodivergent friendly, but shouldn’t they be??I sincerely hope that stories like yours and mine can be a thing of the past 😣 we all deserve the help we need.

CogswellCogs profile image
CogswellCogs in reply to KaiaM

Love the counterproductive point. Well said🧡

Gem1n1 profile image
Gem1n1 in reply to KaiaM


You’re not alone! God bless! 🙏

Hi Kaia, where abouts are you from? I'm new here so I apologize if it was mentioned somewhere else. That is too long. If your ever need to just have a cheerleader in your corner? I got you. I also have a support/advocacy page on IG :) Message me anytime, I know that tired feeling and just knowing someone is listening and willing to help you look for relief. Stigma and judgement free zone 🧡

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