Heya! I have a piece of paper with "attention deficit" written on it. I didn't do any test, just talked about my doubts with my psychiatrist, and he stopped me at half my suspects list saying that he was sure I've had adhd from childhood, and that it's still impacting my life.
He prescribed... Dunno what it is. It's called "bupropione". I'll look into that.
No formal diagnosis yet. But that's a start. Now I feel part of this community for real.
Mixed emotions. Happy to have answers, excited and hopeful for the future, but a little sad and disappointed to see "you have a deficit" written on a piece of paper. As if I didn't know. As if it didn't show. Damn perfectionism. I'm not perfect, so what? No one is, no one can be. Adhd doesn't only mean some things are harder, it also means, at least in my case, curiosity, a lot of interests, creativity and ideas, vivid dreams where I live all kind of adventures, lots of empathy. Weaknesses are normal, human and do not define our value or us as a whole.
This said, I'm scared of meds. Help 😅 they want to eat me
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The_wOnderer
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Don’t be afraid. It helps fight the battle of anxiety which usually leads to depression. I’m proud to be adhd. I work best under pressure. We don’t fold, we show up when it matters.
And I said almost nothing. Wait for me to cry about my sad school history or my frustrated family that could not comprehend why I found so hard to follow simple instructions, or to finish anything I started, I bet it will sound familiar 😄
It does. It’s good you caught it now. You can do something about it. We have a way but we all have strong characteristics. School is boring, we’re more hands on and creative people
This diagnosis is really important for me, for a number of reasons. Maybe I'll write a post explaining why, tomorrow. Now it's late here and I don't want to ruin my efforts to stop hyper focusing on fallout4 before bedtime. Goodnight 🙂
Hi, wOnderer. I’ve never thought about how screwed-up an acronym ADHD is until reading your point of view. Those double D’s aren’t very pleasing feeling to hear. First, comes (D)eficit, followed by (D)isorder. I’m glad there isn’t a third (D), my confidence doesn’t need to be sunk any lower.
I hope your brain chemistry works well with Bupropion, that was one of the many I tried and, unfortunately, the side effects outweighed whatever the benefits were supposed to be. None of the psychiatrists I went to would prescribe ADHD medication with a stimulant in it because I’m an addict in remission. This was after a complete neuropsychological evaluation from a psychologist discovered I had severe ADHD (combined presentation). Drug addiction’s also a reality people with ADHD end up living with in higher percentages due to the nature of the illness than the rest of the population. So it was too bad so sad for me in the psychiatrist’s eyes, all they saw was an addict when they looked at me.
The simple reality is my brain doesn’t produce enough dopamine. Finally my therapist went with me to my general practitioner and described the problems I was having with psychiatrists who were unwilling to prescribe a stimulant based medication for ADHD. He’s a kind Dr and decided to give me a chance and, you know what, I didn’t do anything crazy. In fact, it was one of the largest improvements in my mental health that I ever notice take place. Not only did my ADHD improve, so did my SAD, GAD, and depression.
Good luck, wOnderer, wherever the path your're on may lead.
Ahahah glad there's no third D too 😄 You sound smart. It's a sincere compliment that should compensate at least one D.Yeah, I know ADHD means increased risk for drug abuse as a coping mechanism, and sadly there's so much prejudice around "addicts", they're almost not seen as people any more. Everything else about the person fades, the only thing that's seen is the drug addiction. Hellooo, there's a person behind, and in that person you should look for the addiction's real reasons and for how their life can be improved.
I've never had problems with drugs, I've always stayed away from smoke, caffeine, alcohol, cigarettes... Mainly because I hated the idea and the smell/flavor, plus I knew they were bad, AND that I had a lot of pain to cope with. I was sure I wouldn't have stopped, had I tried. But addiction found me anyway. Through eating disorders. Trust me, they can be an addiction. I broke my moral principles, lied, hated who loved me, pushed them away and risked my life to keep eating disorders with me.
Even in recovery, I had been "clean" from restriction and not willing to turn back, for months, and still, when I saw some underweight stranger, or some other trigger, I started shaking sweating, ears ringing, palpitations, irregular breath, I was tense, joints started to ache, thoughts racing more than ever, the need to start restricting again was painfully occupying my whole mind, couldn't stop thinking about it, so much that when the "crisis" was over, I could barely remember what happened around me during the entire time.
It's over now, but I had to work a lot to reach this point. And what I had to work with had little to do with eating or not, and a lot more to do with what I had gone through in my life and what had happened deep inside of me. That's what I think: remove the need for addiction, and you will obtain true, deep desire to leave it behind. And it will work. You can also shut me in a room and not feed me now, but as soon as I can, I will eat, I don't want anorexia again. I don't need it. I'm not driven to it anymore
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