New here. Sometimes I feel like I’m a... - CHADD's Adult ADH...

CHADD's Adult ADHD Support

9,939 members2,639 posts

New here. Sometimes I feel like I’m alone!

Azanett_
Azanett_

I was diagnosed with ADHD at age 23. My life has turned around for the best but sometimes I do feel sad or alone even though I shouldn’t. Could it be the medication or is this just a normal feeling ?

28 Replies
oldestnewest
Hidden
Hidden

Somethings the significant would or can’t comprehend. I’m going through the same

Hidden
Hidden

I just got diagnosed with adhd. Now everything makes sense. For years, I always thought I was a outcast and at the same very privileged to have a special gift for instincts. The many ups and downs I encountered, I endured knowledge and experience. Now I know. It was the adhd. No matter how much you explain, no one knows how we feel and what we go through. Our brains just developed this way. It wasn’t our fault. We always thought it was our fault. Trying to understand why we tackled so many things at once. One thing for sure is we are unique. I’m Steve. Pleasures all mine.

Azanett_
Azanett_ in reply to Hidden

Ohh I understand completely! I was diagnosed with ADHD a few years back, and I honestly didn’t know how to take it. I felt sad at first and then realized why I struggled so much in life especially when it came to studying for a test and trying to stay focus in school. I struggled so much in high school that after graduating I wasn’t sure if college was the route I wanted to take! But I gave it a try and after taking one class I drop out and decided to look for work. My life was truly a mess!! After being diagnosed with ADHD my doctor started me on Aderrall and that was like an eye opener, it allowed me to stay on top of things, I was actually able to finish what I thought was "complicated task", but then realized how it gave me some side effects that I was not okay with. That was a roller coaster until I found the medication that fit me. My family was obviously against me taking medication so It made me feel ashamed and alone. The journey hasn’t been easy and it’s sad that no a lot of people seem to understand ADHD. I will say my life has been a lot better ever since I was able to find me! And guess who’s back in college? Yup! Me! :) and I am doing phenomenal!!! ...My name is Azanet! Nice to meet you Steve!

Hidden
Hidden in reply to Azanett_

wow, that was very uplifting for me. thank you. I wish you the best. how do you cope these days? are you on meds? beautiful name, Azanet Pleasure to meet you, hope to talk more and a little more education from someone who knows

Azanett_
Azanett_ in reply to Hidden

I cope by seeing a therapist (well speak to him on the phone COVID) and yes currently on Vyvance medication. Also used to have other methods alongside but with COVID that stopped! 😔 I used to go to the gym, get massages every other week. But since that’s now on hold, I listen to this daily app on Spotify call- "Daily wellness" it’s pretty cool because it starts your day with talk, breathing exercises, and then music 🎶, if you enjoy music and meditation you should check it out! Now my experience with medication till this day is that when I’m not on it my body tends to feel drained. Like I ran a marathon and my body just wants to rest. So if you’re considering in starting keep in mind that you will go through some changes. Then again everyone is different. Hope you get to find what works for you and if you have any questions I’m here to help!

Hidden
Hidden in reply to Azanett_

I am on 60 mg vyvanse as well, I also take olanzepine and fluoxetine. I have to tell you that I am in recovery for a drug addiction, (mind you I haven’t told a soul). During this treatment they diagnosed me with adhd. It finally feels great to know I have a mental issue. I thought I was always abnormal for my thinking. I have learned a great deal to over come this addiction. I do have a private counselor and I do attend group meetings through zoom. One thing I realized we all had in common was we all have a issue, either depression, trauma, and anxiety. I feel very fortunate and finally am able to deal with my issues. I find it very soothing to know there’s so many people like me. I’m thankful for you to reply back. It’s great feedback. I had a addiction to cocaine. It’s probably the first time I ever admitted to it. I hope to gain more confidence from your stories, if you will. Thank you Azanet. Such a unique and beautiful name.

Hidden
Hidden in reply to Hidden

I’m also in 8 weeks clean time. And I plan to achieve more clean time. Learning boundaries, thought stop, and not to dwell. I have gratitude for my life and thankful I finally get to live a abstinence life.

Tiggerakafidgity
Tiggerakafidgity in reply to Hidden

Hi St

Well done for 8 weeks.omg some of what you have written was just like looking in a mirror.so much is similar that you wrote.

I’m 16 yrs on now and I’m very proud of my achievement.dont get me wrong it hasn’t been easy at the hardest points in life.

I had 6 months of behavioural therapy about 5 yrs ago and wow it really helped me to separate how and why and what was adhd and what was me.

He is the only person who has stretched my mind to the max and helped my brain take me where other person would dare.

This did really help me understand what I’m all about and my amazing capabilities.

I’m having private counciling and in three weeks in.i don’t think the councillor is gonna stretch my mind but it sure does help to of load.

It seems to me that ppl with adhd always have multiple situation to deal with and getting traumatised frequently.is it that we are more sensitive to what the average person calls normal or is it we are magnets and all the shxxt always flies our way.

It some times feels as though we are being tested constantly.

Sorry babbling on,

You keep clean and make that a good habit yer

All the best to all In here with adhd

T

Azanett_
Azanett_ in reply to Hidden

No problem. That’s what this app is here for! So we can support each other and find people we can relate to! We all have a past and as you said many of us went through traumatic experiences and suffer from either depression, anxiety or even knowing how to socialize at times, as in not making it awkward! Or too blunt at times. I’m happy that you have accomplished 8 weeks of clean time that’s Awesome! and YOU WILL ACHIEVE MORE!!

Hidden
Hidden in reply to Azanett_

Thank you that encouraging and supportive reply. You made me laugh with that too blunt at times comment. I do have a question about your relationship experience. I find myself feeling lonely even when there’s people around me. Do you do everything with a over the top attitude. How do you manage time in your life. I feel the need of structure in everything I do.

Azanett_
Azanett_ in reply to Hidden

1. I’m late for everything. Guarantee you I will be late for our Christmas party this year.

2. Yes. I need to know two to three weeks in advanced if anything is going to happened like- road trips, get togethers, parties.

3. I am not a last minute person. Nor do I like to rush for things. Have you ever been around a person that takes a mini vacation and try’s to cram many activities in three to four days?! Nope. Not me.

I set reminders on my phone. That keeps me on top of what needs to be done. Also my husband tends to keep a tally on me! Joking! 😂 Overall I tend to socialize with people I love and truly care for. My personality is - Just go with the flow, if we’re making jokes, then jokes it is, if we’re talking about a topic I have no clue on then quiet it is!

Hidden
Hidden in reply to Azanett_

That was very helpful to. Do you findYourself trying to please and or worrying what they think?

Hidden
Hidden in reply to Azanett_

How are you today? Good morning.

Hidden
Hidden in reply to Azanett_

I love music. It helps me cope with daily struggles, at times I feel the pain but at times I feel the happiness. One thing for sure is I do feel the music.

Hi Az

I’m 50 now and was diagnosed 10 yrs ago.

I get where your coming from when you say you feel sad and alone.

It’s the complex world of adhd.

I can be sitting watching tv and with out any notice I’ll just go flat.

Flat is what I call it and yes you will feel alone at that point in time.

The alone bit is that you’ve not got another person with adhd to talk to.

And going down or flat with out thinking anything sad is just part of adhd.

So I wouldn’t worry about it to much.

If your feeling sad because of something that has happened if you can deal with it there and then to stop it snow balling in your brain other wise it will just get on top of you.

I’ve found that because I’ve gone flat for no reason at all I know I’ve got nothing to worry about what ever it was.

I just try get on with doing somet that stimulates my brain and what ever you’ve kept your self busy with then after a while you will be ok again.

I’ve got ten years experience with all that can become adhd so I’ve been through probably all that goes with adhd so I’ve kinda got a good hand on it

I hope that helps and made sense,my sleeping tablets have cut in and this is getting fun to type lol

T

Hidden
Hidden in reply to Tiggerakafidgity

Funny you say that. I have had trouble with sleeping for a few years now. I never knew why I couldn’t focus on school. Never knew that I had adhd. Now that I’m 47. And have the proper tools and meds. I feel normal now. To read all these messages from everyone. It feels rejuvenating. Thank you for that. It made sense to me. I thank you for sharing that thought

Definitely wish I had someone near me that could relate to me! Like I can’t walk into work and tell my co worker : Ahhh, this Vyvance hasn’t kicked in! Welp, time to do nothing. ... it’s hard to truly be yourself when yourself is usually not accepted and once you open up to people they start treating you differently. Even if they say they won’t judge who you are, their actions change towards you. Right now one of my family members from another state thinks she might be suffering from ADHD and depression, she felt comfortable telling me so I brought it up to her families attention because it’s getting serious. She’s still young so they’re not paying much attention to her and what affected me of this situation is that my aunt tried to educate me on antidepressants and how her daughter was not going to fall in that route. I guess I let that get a hold of me and also felt like no one near me would understand how much her comment affected me since I tend to be very private with my personal life. Thank you for sharing your thoughts experience!

I will definitely love to know more when it comes to coping with ignorant people!

Hello! You are not alone with that feeling. I get it often even though I am a social butterfly. Some days are better than others, but as long as you have a good support system you will get through it! ❤️

Tidus
Tidus in reply to RCJH8610

I am too! My wife gets annoyed that I can talk to anyone about anything lol but it still happens. I am getting seeking help soon I made my appointment in the next couple weeks to get diagnosed/rediagnosed. Supposedly I was diagnosed at a young age as my mother recalls but she was too scared to put me on meds, but the more I research and reminisce on all my experiences I wish she did. I felt like I have never had a normal day and I pray medications help! I felt like my chest caved in and I teared up a bit when making my appointment and I have no idea why, but i know I need help. I'm attacking so many things at once in this point in my life and I need to be able to focus! I need to be strong and I can't shake that feeling no matter how I approach it. I can say I've dealt with it but these times along with the pandemic it's almost unbearable so! Here is to hoping! I never knew this group existed and the only comparison I can make is like getting glasses! It's very reassuring knowing someone is going through the very same things and our differences make us stronger! Every person here is stronger for seeking help and support and I'm thankful for each person here! I kinda forgot my point lol

RCJH8610
RCJH8610 in reply to Tidus

YEEESSSS! My husband can’t stand me being an open book either hah! Things will get better! I was “diagnosed” as a child but my parents were also fearful of medicating me. I got rediagnosed at the age of 29 and taking medication has been LIFE CHANGING (in a positive way)! I had no idea just how cloudy my mind was until I took the stimulant. It is exactly as you describe... putting on glasses and seeing clearly for the first time! Of course, it isn’t a cure all, but I am so much more productive and able to prioritize all of the never ending to-dos! Sending positive vibes your way and hoping you find some relief soon! 🙌🏼

Tidus
Tidus in reply to RCJH8610

I will update when I get through my appointment! I can't wait for that feeling! I'm 28 as well and I feel like I need it because I should be happy most days, I have just recovered from an injury that took me out of work for a year, I have a job to clock in and out, I am in school making A's, I should be good but I don't feel good. I am obsessed with my school subjects but I am about to hit math which is not my favorite but I have changed my attitude from my teens and I know i need some help. But I a working 55 hour weeks, studying for at least 6 hours out of my day ( but it's really 1 or 2 because of distractions.) And then you know trying to give time to your spouse can be a full time job to meet certain expectations. Right now my job has me sitting in front of a computer all day and I am grateful for it, but i come home extremely exhausted. I try to stay awake by doing pushups and squats every 30 minutes. But you know the honey to do list, I hate having an attitude doing last minute errands and my wife thinks it's more than an attitude which turns into a fight lol not a huge one but an unnecessary one. I want to be a better person! I know it's just the beginning but I need that baseline so I can improve because I am so tired of being what feels like a rut every single day! I see it's affecting everything in my life which is affecting my chances at the future I am trying to achieve and enough is enough!

Tidus
Tidus in reply to RCJH8610

let me ask you this, I don't know why I feel I will lose certain part of my personality. Did you feel that way? For example, they say a symptom is butting in conversations or not letting anyone finish. Since this is not a social norm and considered rude I subconsciously covered this by always saying something funny, like a comment or side not to their story. I feel like if I lose my sens of humor, welp, I'm not an attractive guy and my wife might realize that and dip lol jk. Her cheeks won't have her in the squints so she might finally see all my flaws lol. But do you get what I mean?

Azanett_
Azanett_ in reply to Tidus

I Understand you completely! When you said you teared up as you made your appointment, that was me! Because I felt like I wasn’t normal. Like I had to have this extra help to fit in. While everyone else seem to succeed in life with no problem I needed to be medicated to be able to do what "Normal people do" it took some time to adapt and I’m not going to say I’m A okay now but I am much better than before! I truly wish you the best and welcome here! I appreciate everyone here and makes me so happy to be able to have awesome people to talk to! 🤍

Tidus
Tidus in reply to Azanett_

Thank you and it’s such a strange phenomena, even though we are complete strangers it still feels almost like family because we are going through some of the same thoughts and life’s inevitable battles. I can see the 180 turn in some users giving advice and the next asking for help or support in what they gave advice for, not that there is ANYTHING wrong with that but I am just saying, I can see there will always be good days and bad days. I told some of my closest friends my thoughts and they encouraged me to seek help and disclosed to me they have ADHD too! Told me about the medication and the effects it had on them and always followed up with to seek professional help and they would support me either way. Gave me references, the whole 9 yards. It was really incredible and I am so fortunate to have that.

Me too same feeling here

Yes Azanet I too at times feel sad and alone. I especially so when others who a significant in my life choose not to listen and hear me. I was apparently diagnosed in childhood but my parents just said I had a learning disability, not that I had ADD or anything else. They did not want me medicated. Medication helps now that I was rediagosed at 50. It’s hard when the people you live with turn a blind eye. Making connections with others who have it does help. I’m thankful to finally have answers I’ve search so much of a lifetime to find.

The bottom line is we have something that makes us unique and that can be lonely. It’s important for us to understand ourselves and try to do things in ADHD friendly ways to support ourselves. For us it’s like trying to land and park a helicopter instead of a car. It’s more sensitive and sophisticated, which takes more maneuvering. We need to learn to work with our changes and figuring that out can be a lonely process especially when you feel less supported. We need to be able to function in this world, but need to learn what is useful for us so we can bring out what we were made for this world to do in it. I wasn’t made to be an organization gurus but I can learn tools to have less chaos. Keeping things simple a little more managed so I can function more smoothly. I think it comes to learning about what we do naturally, I’m a piler then find ways to turn it into ways to make it work. I’ve learned for me that means having an open way of filing that’s less hassle but still findable. It’s putting my shoes in a box knowing the ones I most frequently use will be on top, and I can either use the edge to pull them off or get a box big enough to step into it when removing them. I don’t have to line them up in neat rows like others do. I can hang clothes on hooks instead of hangers. I can have 4 pairs of reading glasses in different places that can stay there. I can have a few things on my To do list. I can put a reminder in my phone to call a friend to talk with. Make it a habit to kiss my spouse when I walk through the door., calendar and set alarms to remember special occasions, to share a complement with others or tell them what they mean to us. Who cares if we had to set an alarm to help our brain. We can get involved with people who like doing what we like doing. But we can bring more enrichment into our lives.

Thank you for sharing your story! Life is difficult as it is and It’s more difficult for us because we can handle stress and multiple things at once when others can’t! That’s what depresses me because people sometimes take advantage of that and run to us just because they know we can get it done and we can handle tuff situations. We are heroes in disguise because through hard times we managed to put smiles in others and managed to fix the situation, but others tend to forget we the "heroes” need some time too! Time to rest and relax. Overall I’m happy to be who I am! And I hope everyone has a wonderful Christmas 🎄❄️☃️

Merry Christmas to you as well.

You may also like...