So, I've been having trouble getting organized and proactively working on things for the past few months. I just recently graduated, moved, and took on a part time job that tends to leave me exhausted (due to working early mornings and being manual labor).
I want to put my degree in Computer Science to good use but I'm having trouble being productive, which in turn is making it hard to apply for jobs.
I've found that one of the most effective way for me to learn is to have someone I can have a one-to-one interaction with. A mentor, so to speak. Therefore, I got the idea of finding a life coach, a person I can talk to that can lead me in the right direction and help me adopt some good habits.
So, I was wondering if anyone here had some advice about that. Do you have some experience and think it's a good idea? Do you know a good way to start looking for one? Or is there another strategy you would recommend altogether?
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WonderMusic
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My Experience with an ADHD Coach: I never had any type of tutoring or life coaching throughout my life. A couple years ago, while I was in my final year of graduate school, I found myself really struggling because of a lack of structure in my school program. I had to work on my own and set my own deadlines to finish a large dissertation project. I ended up hiring an ADHD coach which I found at my school. I met her in person the first week and then online every week (for about an hour) for maybe 10 weeks. She cost about $800, but my school paid for it. She had some decent tips, but because I had already been doing my own research, I already knew most of the things she told me. However, she was very useful because during our meetings we would look at my big picture timeline and clearly define the next steps I would do before our next meeting. After every meeting with her I would be inspired to start getting those next steps done. Also, before the nights I would meet with her I would be inspired to make progress during that day so I would have something positive to report.
So, overall I found the coaching very helpful. In my case, I used her more as an accountability partner, but I could see how someone could benefit even more from an ADHD coach if they were also being introduced to new skills and strategies. I think a lot of the skills you can find from doing research online (ADHD podcasts, youtube videos, articles, forums, etc.), but having some kind of accountability partner could be another crucial component to ADHD management. A coach would be even better, and if you’re in a school program it might be worth looking to see if there are resources that provide them to students for free. Personally, I’m more interested in finding a good accountability partner(s) and figuring out how to make that work for me. The problem with me, and perhaps most ADHDers, is that I know WHAT I'm supposed to do, but I have trouble just actually DOING it. Having a recurring meeting with another person helps provide a structure and external accountability to keep you focused on doing what you're supposed to be doing.
Having a recurring meeting with someone to help me with my productivity is essentially what I'm looking for. I think my main problem is that I have a ton of bad habits built up on top of the ADHD. Moreover, I have a job that I have to get up extremely early in the morning for, and the exhaustion has made it especially hard to focus.
I have tried the accountability partner thing a little bit. Family and friends are a bit too busy and it's hard to explain quite what I want to do. I have a therapist I meet with weekly, and tried it with him, but that didn't work out either for one reason or another.
Maybe I just need to try a little bit harder, but the idea of some sort of coach really appealed to me. They could help me figure out how to organize and plan goals both short term and long term. I have found a few different strategies, but it's hard for me to really internalize them by myself.
Really, the entire undercurrent of this idea is that I need help, and maybe a little more help than what I currently have. I've tried to do things essentially alone for a long time so I know that that doesn't really work. But as you alluded to, there's a world of difference between knowing what to do and actually doing it.
However, I do feel like I should try the accountability partner idea first and then maybe look for a coach or mentor if I find it doesn't really work for me. I saw your post about looking for one, are you still looking for one?
Hey Wonder....Many years ago I was body building / power lifting. I found myself struggling with consistency. Around that time I started working with a couple of other guys with similar interests. Together we pushed one another, shared insights, banter etc. and held each other accountable to show up with NO excuses. It REALLY helped, my bench improved over 125 pounds and I really felt good - about THAT and myself. Point is - having a partner/coach/mentor helps - especially for those of us that have a tough time with time management, elf discipline, consistency etc etc etc...I dont think a professional coach is necessaryly a must....more like someone that can call you out when you start to slip and cheer you when you get it right/ build a new POSITIVE habit.
That's something I'm definitely interested in as well (it's actually why I'm posting here in the first place).
The problem is that I'm not a very social person. I don't really know how to start to find a person/group, which I guess was the point of the original post. Especially on the online space, there are so many options and so many ways it can be messed up that I just get sort of paralyzed even thinking about it.
I have a coach currently who specializes in people with ADHD. She has a group membership in addition to a one-on-one practice. I’m in the group membership and it is fantastic!
I have a whole post about coaching on my profile page that you’re welcome to read through, but if you’re interested now, check out Kristen Carder at ihaveadhd.com.
She’s amazing! I have absolutely no doubt that she can help you put that degree to good use!
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