Coping with ADHD hypersexuality

[fanglorious]

This is embarrassing for me to admit, but I think in my brain's endless quest for dopamine, I have a preoccupation with sexuality that has been ongoing from the age of 13 to present (I'm 36 now). I'm married and my wife tries to be understanding, but her baseline libido is nearly non-existent and mine is high high high. How this plays out is she tries to accommodate me but gets burnt out after a while and I become a nuisance to her and I think she begins to resent me. This triggers rejection sensitivity in me and I tend to pout. Does getting on ADHD medication help with this problem? Or does anyone have insight into magically turning their libido off? I love my wife and I don't want to chronically annoy her, but I don't know what else to do and more often than not I just end up feeling like a bad guy.

[Hidden]

First off, this a safe place so don't be concerned with talking about your problems here.

Second, Yes, medication will help with your issue. Medications will balance and level out your brain. It sounds like you have a high need for stimulation which would explain the outlet you are using to get it.

My suggestions is to seek a doctor who can put you on medication. Please take time to research medications yourself to see if you can find one that other people have used to help with the same problem. I personally take Vyvanse and so far am benefiting from it.

Also, you'll need to consider that after many years of you stimulating your brain with this physical action, you may encounter some withdrawal from not performing the action so often. What I mean is that your body may still expect the same frequent performances even after on medication. So the medication will help control the brain's desire for this stimulation but your male reproductive organs may take time to adjust. My opinion from my own similar experience.

Good luck and feel free to ask me questions.

[fanglorious in reply to Hidden]

I have an appointment with my doctor on the 29th and I haven't been on medication for ADHD since I was very young. He usually gives me whatever I ask for so long as I have a sound and reasonable argument for it. I was considering asking for Adderall XR, but I'm unsure what might be the best choice. I know that Strattera has made me angry both times I've tried it, so that's out. Any suggestions?

[Hidden in reply to fanglorious]

I had to use Adderall (not XR) before I could use something like Vyvanse. I did not like the withdrawal of it each day. I like Vyvanse because it is close to Adderall without the withdrawal issues. I would suggest getting an XR version of whatever you decide to take.

If you find that you can't handle stimulants like Adderall or Vyvanse than you would need to try a non-stimulant like Guanfacine, Clonidine. Again, just my opinion and am in no way do I have all the answers.

Something else to consider, when you begin taking stimulants you will need to give them time to adjust your body. You will also need to watch your sleep habits closely. If you find your sleep is being negatively affected than you will need to change the time of day you take the medication. If you find yourself having bouts of fatigue, loss of motivation and interest, or in a slump than you should review what you ate recently. I found that sugar is not my friend now that I'm medication. The medication is working hard to keep me balanced and then I throw it a curve ball...of sugar. So you might find yourself adjusting your diet some to ensure that you have a balanced day. This includes caffeine intake which most people have to reduce or stop all together.

[Calm_Saul]

Clif notes for add-ers

(schedule sex and calibrate. Re teach your brain to enjoy the doing instead of the finishing.

Hormone balance With serotonin instead of dopamine fix.)

You should communicate with your wife that you want to have more sex in this part of your life. If y’all set a number of attempts by the week to go by that will give your brain some relief if you know it’s coming even when it’s coming.

People without Add and People with add/adhd have a problem “waiting” for things. But more so on our ends. Gratification is our greatest tool and weapon. It’s easy for us and addictive.

This is why people with attention disorders have a correlation with drug use. (Not always)

So After you and your wife have set a routine y’all decide after a time span if y’all want to change it up.

You may realize that sex takes a lot of

work-energy and you just want the release that comes with it. Not so much of the sex (maybe) lol

You will need to shift your attention to the side of sex that gives you a serotonin/oxytocin release instead of just the addictive dopamine surge you are craving.

I like to think of serotonin as the hormone that you get high off from doing the activity vs

Dopamine the high you get after to continue doing certain activities. (It’s not that simple)

This is why A.A. And addiction recovery programs Works for recovering addicts.

There’s a fulfillment from doing the recovery, getting the chips, talking about how far they’ve come that keeps them on a straight road. But the serotonin high takes time and effort. (Like a long distance run “runners high”)

So you may need to have sex with your wife without finishing for awhile. (I’m not going to get into the specifics) If you set a plan with good results you can manifest it and make things work. But you’ve got to make a great effort to get in tune with your body and be conscious of your wife’s to make things balanced and sustainable.

You’re going to have relearn or better yet

Re-engage your Brain and body connection and connection with your wife so she’s not sore all the time.

[Emerald-Eyes]

To add to what others have said, question. Really think about this. Is there something else in your life that is missing from your life or your not getting enough of that you going after the “fix of sex”.? Just seeing if this is a possibility. Really think about not just knee jerk “no”. If there something missing that’s worthwhile why not add it or more of in your life.

Think more on loving making WITH your wife, not just having sex. Really making a connection with the whole of your selves, not just the sex act. Well round your experiences as a couple. Learn her love language and do those thing to enrich her, and they will enrich you both. (There is a book called The Five Love Languages. Maybe there’s some videos or something on the Internet that could help with shorter reads.)

[Shnookie]

One way to relieve part of frustration without going into too much TMI is taking

Care Of some of your needs yourself. U need to talk to your doctor right away

because U need to readjust your dopamine level. Also if U love the wife the way U say

try to go back to old fashion romance. U need to express to your wife what U R

going thru. Maybe some couples therapy

with a therapist who is a specialist who

Deals with psychotropic drugs and it’s impact on a couple’s erotic relaxation