Hello guys I am a 19 year old kid who lives in India . I have adhd and I am not able to focus on my education . I have not gone to the doctor and I can't convince my family that I am suffering from it . I was doing just fine till 3 years ago and now it getting worst . I can't convince my family without treating me like a mentally retarded person and I don't know how to get help . In recent times I am not able to focus on one task more than 5 minutes and I can't shake off the depression and anger inside me. I feel useless and no one around me understands my situation and I am even loosing my ability to remember things properly and can't remember what I read. I am getting addicted to the internet . So anyone can tell me how can I get myself out of this mess and manage myself . Please reply .
Thank you
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I am so sorry for what you're going through. I can definitely empathize with those feelings, though my situation at your age was different. Getting diagnosis and treatment is very important... is there any help available to you through the school? At my University in the US, they had counselors and some basic medical services which might help you navigate through getting a proper diagnosis and starting a treatment plan on your own, as terrifying as that probably seems.
You aren't useless. Things will get better. You aren't actually losing your ability to remember or concentrate (well, more than normal for someone with ADHD); that's just the effect of dealing with the depression and anger, and should get better with treatment. In the meantime, I find the How to ADHD youtube channel helpful for learning a variety of strategies to deal with more day-to-day problems. And finding a community that understands you is very important, so it's good that you've found this place.
I don't know what it is like in India. But are you considered an adult who can see a doctor on your own? Does your family have to know everything, and approve all of your decisions before you can just make an appointment? Can do the first step of making a private appointment with your regular physician? Go one step at a time. Get a referral from that doctor for a Psychiatrist. But you know you need help even if your family doesn't believe you. You have to do what is right for you.
Mate in India we don't move out of our home instead it's like our parents don't allow us to get a job and move out we are stuck with them until we get a degree so all our decision is monitored by our parents till we finish our education . It's like this so I can't go to a doctor . So I need to notify them . That's the problem
I am sorry to hear that, that definitely adds another barrier for you to seek help. Would they even let you see your regular doctor just to talk about your concerns? If you can't get help medically, I think this forum and personal online research is the next best thing.
Maybe that youtube channel that Sparlock suggested can help you. I'm also going to check that out myself.
If you're unable to go see a doctor, that is a problem. There are ways you can educate yourself online about ADHD however and ways to deal with it:
First, you can take a test online to see if you think you have it. (Not as good as an official diagnosis from a doctor, but it will help you some.) This is a quizz through the website ADD.org which is a reputable website. Here's the link: add.org/wp-content/uploads/...
I also recommend that you join ADD.org and get their resources. Additionally, the magazine called ADDitude is online at: additudemag.com/ They have great resources that you can use to find out ways to help yourself.
There's another Indian student in this group that I remember coming on here, and because he was 18 that age he is considered an adult. Doctors in India are required through the hippocratic oath to refer their patients to a different doctor if they can do better care for the patient. ijme.in/articles/the-hippoc... If there's any way that you can get a doctors appointment, pretend you are ill, whatever, and then speak to that doctor in confidence to get a referall to a psychiatrist that could help. Do you live at university, or home? Can you move to the university? Let me go find his name for you. I'll send a separate post.
Can you lie and say you need to see a doctor for pain in a random part of your body (woman/men’s issue so they don’t ask questions maybe) and once your at the doctor explain the situation?
Sorry to hear about your predicament. Without perpetuating a stereotype, R your parents expecting U to be the dutiful son who will study very diligently and achieve high grades and proceed along from there to greater things. I'm not saying U do not have the capacity to do this, but right now U need to take care of your mental health. If U live near a large city such as Mumbai or Dehli, there might be universities who can provide clinics and even clinical trials and recommend to a therapist perhaps on a sliding scale cost to help you manage
your issues with having ADHD. Don't give up on yourself. And after U have found a doctor or therapist, perhaps you can invite your parent s to attend a session to open up their eyes as to the challenges U face on an everyday basis. The doctors might discuss with your parents some attitudinal changes towards what U R going thru and be taught on what to do if they see U have some challenging episodes with your ADHD. I grew up in a traditional
Ashkenazi Jewish culture and my father and aunts and grandparents were Holocaust survivors and my mother's side of the family had a history of mental health issues. At times it was challenging to say the least. Now at the ripe old age of 62, I live my life much more on my terms and take responsibility for my behavior warts and all. Good luck with your journey and try to pick up tools like cognitive therapy, doing Chakras, meditation We're 4 U
Yikes- that is a predicament! The rest of the group members had some great ideas about educating yourself. Being a part of this group will also help. Based on your culture, it doesnt really seem like getting a diagnosis and medication are an option for you. Its not entirely impossible to live well without meds- meds just make it alot easier. Keep reaching out and try to find your ADHD superpower!!
U R so right. When I was employed as an insurance defense paralegal for over 5 years,
hyperfocusing was very helpful in organizing,analyzing and summarizing large amounts of medical records and in essence helped me communicate more effectively with some of the attorneys who I worked for. One of the attorneys I worked for could be a real pain in the tush. One day he plopped a chunk of med recs on my desk and he needed them to be summarized within 3 hours. I calmly told him that of course, I will summarize these records 4 U. However, these will not be the type of summaries that you are used to because as you know, it takes a little more time to be more comprehensive. I suggested to him once again, that if he knew this was coming up please give me more of a heads up so I can produce the
work product that you desire. He agreed to this and our working relationship improved.
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