New and Intimidated by Diagnosis - Adult ADHD Support

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New and Intimidated by Diagnosis

Batgrrly
Batgrrly
27 Replies

Hello

Writing this is very intimidating for me. I am an adult who was diagnosed late in life.

I have had very bad luck in the year since I have been diagnosed. I went to two specialty places and felt no connection with them, a sterile situation.

I value my privacy. But I want to know I’m not alone.

27 Replies
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lisariver

Hi, I just wanted you to know you're not alone. I hope you can take some refuge here.

Lisa

2 likes
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Batgrrly
Batgrrly
in reply to lisariver

Thank you. Because I had surgery 3 weeks back I had to put pursuit of help off to the side, but The spinning while trying to recover is maddeningly got by on. Trying to do meditation a lot.

1 like
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lisariver
lisariver
in reply to Batgrrly

I don't know much about this but I have talked with a handful of people that say the anesthesia can stay in the system for more than a month after surgery, many complain of memory problems and brain fog long after. So you might want to keep that in mind as you work with symptoms and recovery.

Lisa

2 likes
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Hidden
Hidden
in reply to lisariver

I’ve had few surgeries, and yes it can take up to 1-3 months to recover from anesthesia. Forgetfulness and brain-fog are definitely side effects.

2 likes
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MissyDa15
MissyDa15
in reply to Batgrrly

I had surgery pst December and I remember feeling like I was in a fog for about 3 months and than the fog lifted and depression hit. The surgery fog is real. It was sooooo strange.

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Morgs89

I too am newly diagnosed.

Been an emotional roller coaster!!

So glad my wife pushed me to do something about my issues.

By no means is a diagnosis or meds a cure.

It’s a means of understanding!!

When you know what your problems are you can fix it. Even just knowing the root of the problems stops them.

Crazy how much better I feel.

Good luck with everything.

6 likes
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Sarakremser

You are definitely not alone I was diagnosed in about my senior year of high school. I graduated in 1998 and went to college after colllege I struggled because every dr I had did not feel as an adult I should still be dealing with ADHD. I am here to tell you I am living proof adults do deal with it. I am now 38 yrs old and have found a dr who believes in what I am telling her and have been referred to a wonderful dr who helps me with med management. It is hard when many out there do not understand and think that it’s not a real thing but I am here to tell you that you are not alone and don’t have to go it alone.

Sara

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Lovinit
Lovinit
in reply to Sarakremser

Also, i think a lot aren’t educated enough about it and are likely to misdiagnose. The first psychiatrist i meant had my complete a 5 plus page paper test with multiple choose questions. And the questions kept being repeated but worded differently. I thought it was a stupid wast of time. Going by my test answers tells you about me? No it didn’t. I needed someone who i could talk to, spill it all out to them, while I’m talking they should be taking down everything I’m saying and using those notes to brake it down with what’s going on with me. A good doctor should be able to hear what you’re saying and come up with a answer. I know it can be trial and error. ADHD can be misdiagnosed for bipolar. That’s what this first psychiatrist said she believed i may have. The dam women wasn’t listing to me. It was 2016, i was already diagnosed and treated for adhd since 2002, and my medication i was taking was helping me but this lady, it was like she didn’t have any experience. To top it off she required me to sign an agreement to be drug teasted at anytime for any drugs. At that time i still smoked pot. What a shitty experience i had. I’m glad i the next psychiatrist i tried ended up being the god dam best doctor i ever had. It’s been one year since i stared seeing him, he’s the first adhd educated doctor i meat since. The first doctor who diagnosed me, md, i was 22 he was my doctor growing up he retired a year after he diagnosed me and i was too young and shy at the time to know to ask questions and discuss treatment. Fun fact: I graduated high school in1999.

2 likes
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Sarakremser
Sarakremser
in reply to Lovinit

It’s hard I’ve had roughly the same issues with other drs. If I would have never moved and ended up at the drs office I’m at now who referred me to the dr who manages my meds I would not be on the right track with my diagnosis and meds. My original drs office thought they knew what was wrong and wouldn’t help me with what was the real problem so I know what it’s like to be misdiagnosed after you were correctly diagnose. For years the original drs office was telling me my diagnosis was anxiety and depression and treated me for that. So moving 2 hrs away and seek out a new drs office was the best decision I could have ever made. I was so happy to finally be listened to. So I have learned that perseverance and determination for me were key

Sara

3 likes
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Corgio1
Corgio1
in reply to Sarakremser

What?! Docs felt you should just spontaneously outgrow ADHD? Your brain should simply retire itself? The lack of knowledge is alarming.

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Faded_ginger13

Hi

I'm now 65 and was diagnosed 4 years ago. I understand what going through all those years undiagnosed means : schools, young adult, marriage, children, and now grandchildren. I failed many years of school, been embarrassed about my odd ways of looking at things and strange reactions to situations.

This diagnosis really validated my life.

I hope you can find your way through this jungle.

AJ

11 likes
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Siciliana

I am 62 and just was diagnosed this past March. I, too am really struggling with all this, feeling angry that no one would listen to me earlier in life and now trying to make sense of everything, trying to find the right treatment, etc. And, I too have had terrible and unfortunate stuff happen in my life since my diagnosis. I am very depressed and overwhelmed and really have no one to talk to who really understands all this. In fact, today is my 40th wedding anniversary and because of the “terrible thing” I alluded to earlier, my husband and I are sleeping in separate bedrooms. The irony is our troubles stem from our ADHD adult daughter who recently told me I was an abusive parent to her growing up and I know that part of that “abuse” stems from her belief that she has never been ADHD and I just some how got a doctor to say she was, and put her on meds just to make my life easier. I’m so glad to finally hear I’m not alone.

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Hidden
Hidden
in reply to Siciliana

Dear Siciliana, you are definitely not alone. I wouldn’t dwell too much on your daughter being mad at you. I have parents that pulled me out of psychiatric therapy after 2 sessions when I was 8 years old. I should have been put on Ritalin back then in 1970. But that was not to be. My mom was dealing with bad pain when I was growing up, I was probably difficult to deal with and she had terrible mood swings. It was not a great childhood. We try our best as parents but our children grow up with their own believes and world view. Case in point, I believe my parents should have done something about my struggles and your daughter believes you should have done the opposite. Sometimes we can’t win as parents. My son who is 35 and I are not on good terms at the moment, but I know that he’s happy in his life, he’s got a great woman and good carrier going on. If it makes him happy not to talk to me, without being rude and hurtful, so be it. If he never talks to me again, I haven’t heard from him in for over a year now. I don’t mind, I rather have him happy. Every time he’s talked to me for the past ten years, he’s just irritated. He’s welcome to talk to me anytime, if he can refrain from being rude and hurtful to me. But he hasn’t even tried. I assume he’s doing just fine and that is good enough for me.

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Siciliana
Siciliana
in reply to Hidden

Thanks. That helps knowing that someone else has similar struggles. This is all so new to me. It's hard to change the way I think about myself after 60+ years, from feeling so inadequate and frustrated at not being to "overcome my difficulties" to letting myself off the hook because the real reason I haven't been able to do that is because my brain is just wired differently and can't just "overcome my difficulties." I still find myself thinking it's me, why can't I get better, do things like other people do them, and then to top it all off my daughter says this to me. It's too much to take in all at the same time and I just want to scream or cry or do both, sometimes at the same time. Thanks for sharing your story. It helps.

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HowCome
HowCome
in reply to Hidden

So much acceptance required with this ADHD gig... :-(

Sending best wishes to both of you, just keep on doing your best for your offspring....

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HowCome
HowCome
in reply to HowCome

I am worrying what I’m doing to my son, age 8. But the chaos he’s been living thru has been happening along time, so maybe now I have more clues, i might manage to get myself together more... its the stress i put us both through being late to school and to all his activities.... not good!

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Corgio1
Corgio1
in reply to Siciliana

My son said same....haven’t talked to him in years😭

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HowCome
HowCome
in reply to Corgio1

:-(

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Hidden
Hidden

Yes, I had my first surgery at 29. It was my appendix. I don’t remember having any memory loss then. After my second surgery, I felt memory loss for about a month. I had no idea what was going on, we didn’t have the internet then and I couldn’t google it. So I assumed and hoped it was a result of the anesthesia. I had longer periods of this after surgery brain fog and forgetfulness in my later surgeries. I’m hoping I don’t need anymore surgeries ever. I’ve had my share of them. When I see people go under the knife for cosmetic reasons, without needing them, (There are actually People that do need them) I think they are totally nuts. I’m older now and not so pretty, but I don’t owe the world any special prettyness. Really, the worst thing I do is going under the knife.

1 like
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Batgrrly
Batgrrly
in reply to Hidden

Yes, I didn’t have memory loss after the other surgery, just the heart lung bypass thing. I hope to never have this happen again.

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Hidden
Hidden

The weird thing is, when we get anesthesia, our brain is actually awake and our consciousness is put to sleep. That’s why we don’t remember anything or dream anything.

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Unicorn51

I am so on board with the difficulty of finding this out at a late age! I’m 67! I was just diagnosed in June this year. I had been treated for chronic depression for 40 years. I’m trying to move forward with what’s left of my life. And am in wonderment that I made it this far. Dwelling in the past isn’t useful but acknowledging it seems to be helping me get past my anger over so much waste. Due to impulsive thinking, I actually left my kids. And couldn’t get them back until they were teenagers. Career? Not. Friends? A handful - in other cities. Husbands? Three - and this one is truly amazing. We just moved to a new state and I’m hopeful I’ll find good ADHD resources. It’s time to turn this ship around.

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HowCome
HowCome
in reply to Unicorn51

Awesome! Thanks for writing!

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Traccee

Your not. The frustration grew as time was passing for myself & I remind myself why I seeked out the help. Because no matter how strong I am I couldn't do it myself at this time.i needed more help than what I was doing on my own.

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Corgio1

I am too newly diagnosed. I am determined to turn this into a super power. We have weird and wonderful ways of looking at things. We see and experience things so very differently. We were born this way— many other sub-cultures celebrate their differences/uniqueness/handicaps/challenges—Lady Gaga even sings about it! Why can’t we?

As other older newly diagnosed women have said here, my son blames me for not being a good mom. Well. My god. Look what we’ve been dealing with.

I didn’t have the tools, knowledge, social skills, whatever— I just muddled along Best I could, thru addictions(self-medication?), Recovery, illnesses, family desertion and deaths...and survived.

We will keep on surviving. And I intend to do it with as much grace and good humor as I can muster. Sometimes I am as awkward as a flamingo on roller skates, but that suits me just fine.

1 like
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HowCome
HowCome
in reply to Corgio1

Love the skating flamingo image!

1 like
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Lefty1999

Hi

You're definitely not alone in the quest for proper diagnosis and support. I would use the support from this group and from CHADD to find guidance .

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