ADHD Coach: I recently found an ADHD... - CHADD's Adult ADH...

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ADHD Coach

cjnolet profile image
6 Replies

I recently found an ADHD coach and I it’s completely refreshing, especially since he’s got impulsive ADHD himself. It’s crazy how different it is to be talking to someone who deeply understands some of the quirks and is able to look at it in a positive way, by helping with coping mechanisms.

Do any of you have an ADHD coach?

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cjnolet profile image
cjnolet
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6 Replies
Gabesmom594 profile image
Gabesmom594

Unfortunately no. Can't afford one.

No, I don't have a coach...it sounds like such a good idea. I do have a therapist that is extremely supportive. I can call or text him at any time.

shellyn04 profile image
shellyn04

i am not aware of any in our area? how did you find an ADHD coach??

cjnolet profile image
cjnolet in reply to shellyn04

lol. To be honest, I just googled “ADHD coach + <my city>” and looked through the results. I went through a terrible time with a therapist I had for about 8 months. I went from DJ to entrepreneur to therapist acting like I’m a nutcase. My wife and kids and I were at our happiest when I was doing the dj and entrepreneur thing but I got super depressed and self deprecating during the time with the therapist. Something wasn’t right and I realized it was not me.... the ADHD coach is awesome. Since he’s got ADHD as well, I feel like he’s able to give me tools to love productively rather than trying to analyze the crap out of me to try to diagnose me with crap (which a therapist can’t do anyways).

shellyn04 profile image
shellyn04

thanks CJ! i haven't been on here in awhile but just saw your message. funny timing too... i am on here again because i have been struggling with my 12 year old (he's adhd) getting in to middle school. sheeeweee!! its been a struggle in sooo many ways. i kinda think of me as his adhd coach. haha!! i have never been diagnosed, but could gurantee you i am too! i see sooo many things that he goes through that i also went through as a kid. i'm very excited to be back on here!! may help keep me sane! ;)

cjnolet profile image
cjnolet in reply to shellyn04

This is actually really neat to hear. I've had a very similar experience with my 9 year old. Ever since he was old enough to have a personality and interact with the world, I've noticed a strange connection between the way he thinks, acts, and problem solves.

In fact, I've noticed it so much so that I've sometimes wondered if it's too coincidental and I'm making some bad assumptions about his thoughts. For instance, I feel like based on his responses, I can tell how his brain ticks. He has my quirks almost exclusively- he's very smart, has a voracious hunger for learning, his mind thinks constantly whether he's awake or asleep, and as a result, he's a little self-centered (a little more so than other kids his age). I don't fault him whatsoever for that last part, but I think it's worth pointing out.

Anyways, I've struggled with therapists because they don't get me. They are too quick to put a label to my quirks and try to diagnose. Maybe I just think too much for it to be useful, but cognitive behavioral therapy felt like a mindfuck to me (excuse my language). It felt like I was being manipulated and I guess technically I was. Given that my inattentiveness since childhood has already had me learning social norms well after other people my age, I can't stand someone who I'm paying to help me cope with life having me question everything I do, believe, & think.

This was a long winded way of saying that I think you and I are both in a similar place with regards to being able to coach our children. It's funny but I think my mom has always kind of acted like my coach. While my dad was always quick to correct me and show me how "normal kids don't do things" like the things I did (and don't get me wrong, my dad meant the best for me and I do thank him for never allowing me to use ADHD as a crutch), my mom and i had a strange connection and I sometimes feel like I know how she feels about things too. Maybe that's just empathy but who knows....

I'm actually excited about the connection I have with the way my oldest son thinks. Yeah, I'm quicker to call him out on stuff because I can see better than others how A led to B which led to C, but I think in the long run it's going to be better for him to know his father grew up with a very similar brain. In fact, I'm convinced that ADHD has been so hard to diagnose because I don't feel the physical differences in our brains are even remotely similar across bloodlines. I've been thinking for awhile that our genes, experiences, diets and our environments have the most influence on how our brains operate. If this is true, then there might be no better coach on this earth than a direct ancestor with the same genes! What do you think?

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