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Impulse Control - Looking For Your Story

KarenADHDWeekly profile image
KarenADHDWeeklyPartner
28 Replies

Hello Readers! I am preparing an article for ADHD Weekly bit.ly/ADHDWeekly on the times that trouble with impulse control has gotten the the better of situation. Do you have a brief example of a time when difficulties with impulse control ended up causing you trouble, or landing you in a humorous situation? Share with our audience below or message me to be included in our upcoming feature article.

Thanks!

Karen, ADHD Weekly

The National Resource Center on ADHD: A Program of CHADD

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28 Replies
StarDreamer profile image
StarDreamer

I struggle so so hard with avoiding games on my computer or iPhone. In the past week, I've installed and uninstalled candy crush at least 5 times. Even this morning I started watching videos online, even though I knew it meant I would come into work later than I wanted to.

StrongMom profile image
StrongMom in reply to StarDreamer

Me, too! I've played the same two word games on my phone EVERY DAY straight for at least a couple of years. It's nuts!

I start running my mouth, even when there is no one here. I just impulsively talk to the air even if there is no one to listen. It’s like my mouth turns into a faucet for my thoughts. It’s probably funny, except there is no one here to to laugh at it.

loquacious1 profile image
loquacious1 in reply to

me too.

stephenwbrandt profile image
stephenwbrandt in reply to

I talk to my animals and only internally to myself

Ami00 profile image
Ami00 in reply to stephenwbrandt

I shout and swear at the bins cos they dont empty themselves, the plastic plate that fell and didnt even break bt caused me huge inconvenience to bend over and pick it up, so I don't. I stand there and shout and swear. Funny to watch. Frightening if you are on the end of my anger agression outbursts out of thin air

Lovinit profile image
Lovinit

I got a temporary job taking care of an 86 year old women, driving her to appointments, having lunch with her and hanging out at the house while her husband 93 years old was at work. The man gave me a tour of the home and when he showed me the guest house he said when the time comes and we need more help will hire someone who will live in the guesthouse and i said oh that’s great, I would much rather die in my own home instead of a nursing home. OOPS! I quickly shut up and apologized, I meant what I said sincerely in a thoughtful way but its not appropriate

cjnolet profile image
cjnolet

Wow. So I was that kid in grade school with a creative inattentive mind but impulsive as heck. In other words, i was the textbook version of a hyperactive boy with ADHD. Thinking back now that I’m in my 30s, it was actually pretty bad, but at the time, it just felt compulsive.

I’d be in he middle of English class, a subject I hated the most at the time. The teacher already didn’t like me and saw me as a problem child. I couldn’t pay attention to save my life. While the other kids are reading or doing their work, I’m busy thinking about how much I enjoy writing music and computer programming, and wow when I get home I’m going to write a new song. But amidst all of those stimulating thoughts, at some point, it would pop into my head “wow it would be funny as heck if you were to blurt out a cuss word right now while the room is silent”. Compulsion sets in, it ruminates, and ruminates, and ruminates. Before you know it, out of my mouth comes “oh fuck!” Loud enough so everyone could hear it, just to get some stimulation from the class. Of course I’d have to do it loud enough so the teacher would hear it as well.

It was definitely not uncommon for my teachers to get to the point with me where they would only need to point their fingers towards the door and I would know that they meant to go straight to the office.

I remember a science teacher that I guess could be pictures as a “surfer dude” and he wasn’t extremely nice to me. I mean, with my compulsive behavior, I’m not sure I’d have been extremely nice to me if I were in their shoes. Some fellow students who I still talk to after all these years, continually remind me of a time that the teacher said something not so nice to me and so during that same class, while I was again bored and mind racing through thoughts, unrelated to school, compulsion set in once again. Something in my head was telling me to do something absolutely outlandish to gain some stimulation. So I stood up, walked up to the front of the class, and kicked the teacher in the butt.

He was embarrassed and I was crowned his worst student. Unfortunately this was nothing new for me. I was so bad and impulsive in my confirmation classes at my Catholic Church that the teacher didn’t return the following year. It was all a joke to me, I couldn’t pay attention or follow along with the other students so I stimulated myself in other ways.

I guess it’s easy to label kids as class clowns and bad kids. My behavior changed drastically on college when I was able to study what I loved. I maintained a pretty amazing gpa all throughout my associates, bachelors, masters, and now doctorate program. Who woulda thought? I am still known by friends as the guy who says off the wall stuff sometimes. I often still don’t have enough of a filter. I don’t scream foul language out in class anymore- rather, in college it just turned to having phone or laptop out all the time. I’ve been getting better at this with age. The classes in my doctorate program have actually been some of the most interesting I’ve ever taken so I suppose that’s becoming part of my hyperfocus, making it much easier to be fully attentive in class.

loquacious1 profile image
loquacious1

Yes, I run into this with texting my boyfriend and sometimes others. He has specifically asked me to not text so much and it's like I can't help it.

Faithfull profile image
Faithfull

I am 53 still do in haste repent at leisure . Done one woman protests for mental health ADHD just ended up in the police cells

stephenwbrandt profile image
stephenwbrandt

I've been a victim of my own impulsiveness and what a disaster I've created

in reply to stephenwbrandt

Sounds like me, you are not alone

Faithfull profile image
Faithfull in reply to stephenwbrandt

I'm a victim of liking me ADHD when I get on a happy high .and me meds work since diagnosed at 40 crime wave gone down ! That was just a joke hope someone understands

Faithfull profile image
Faithfull in reply to stephenwbrandt

Same as

StrongMom profile image
StrongMom

Wow, every area of my life is a mess right now because of poor impulse control! One example I can think of is over-eating, as I looove everything bad for me and I find eating to be comforting as well when I'm going through tough times. Now, I'm in my forties, a single mom with three kids and a full-time job, a dog, and a house to take care of. I have a hard time allowing myself to sleep 8 hours a night like the doctor ordered, and I'm struggling with adrenal fatigue, daytime sleepiness, staying focused at work, and it's depressing! The adrenal fatigue was caused by eating unhealthy foods and also not sleeping enough over several years, though I've been trying to control myself, the more I try to diet or plan out healthy meals, there's this other side of me that says, "that's it! I'm eating this WHOLE BAG OF CHIPS because I want it and I'll do what I want to do!

I feel like I'm on a downward spiral right now because so many people look down on me as lazy and uncaring, and I can see why they think that, I do look like I don't care when I'm half asleep. There are so few doctors that specialize in ADHD where I live, that I'd have to get on a waiting list to get treatment that I desperately need, but I don't feel like I have so much time to wait.

Faithfull profile image
Faithfull in reply to StrongMom

Where I live your lucky there's glass between GP receptionist as I have lad liver slow growing meningomia on brain loads wrong and they are telling me I have cirrhosis then I ain't then I have there the ones who are driving mad the hospital

rach1402 profile image
rach1402 in reply to StrongMom

You've just described my life! And it's so frustrating when people don't believe you've got ADHD even though you've got all the classic symptoms. Here in the UK it's really hard getting decent range of medication options as we're about 20-30 years behind the likes of the US and Australia.

StrongMom profile image
StrongMom in reply to rach1402

You’re not missing much, Rach. Doctors here in the U.S. are quick to prescribe harmful medicines as a “quick fix” instead of finding actual solutions. I’m better off now seeing a naturopath and a psychologist, and I’m completely off the meds, which had so many side effects they only made things worse for me.

rach1402 profile image
rach1402 in reply to StrongMom

Yeah I suppose the healthcare systems on both sides of the Atlantic have their flaws. Over here you don't get much of a choice over your healthcare and on your side of the pond it sounds like you've got different 'experts' all trying to get you to give them your business. We're all different, some treatments seem to work better for certain people than others. Glad you've found something that works for you x

Bynddrvn profile image
Bynddrvn in reply to StrongMom

I have set strict limits on how long I can be online. It is not easy but you tend to prioritize what is important when you don't have a lot of time to surf the internet. On youtube the "How to ADHD" videos are very helpful

KarenADHDWeekly profile image
KarenADHDWeeklyPartner

Hello StrongMom,

I'm sorry to hear you feel like you're on a downward spiral! We have a listing of providers at chadd.org/Support/Directory... and Psychology Today has a "Find a Therapist" button to find a professional at psychologytoday.com/us.

I hope this helps.

Karen

The National Resource Center on ADHD at CHADD

rach1402 profile image
rach1402

I know this is an old thread but I had to post my example of impulsivity cos it's just ridiculous. I've always been scared of dogs so really surprised myself 7 years ago when I took the kids to a petting zoo and came back with a chihuahua. No bed, no food, no lead and worse still no clue how to care for a dog. Everyone I told thought I was joking until they saw him with their own eyes. Luckily he's grown into a loving and well behaved pet but it could have been a lot worse! Since then I've bought another 3 dogs, all on impulse.

In March this year my teenage daughter asked if she could have chinchillas so I told her I would look into it but as they would need a cage and loads of things I would have to pay for, if I agreed to let her have the chinchillas, she would have to wait until her birthday 6 months later in September. So true to my word I did my research online, or rather I googled chinchillas, saw how adorable they look and yep you guessed it, 4 days later my daughter got her chinchillas, Terrance and Phillip (named after the farting Canadians from South Park)! In my defence, at least I bought some hay for them on the way to get them 😂

The worst case of impulsive pet purchasing has to be my most recent though, I still can't believe it over a month later. I decided to take a day off my meds, what harm can it do I thought. I feel more like myself and have more fun joking around with my kids when I take a day off them once in a while, when I'm not at work and don't have to drive much. So I was watching a documentary about monkeys with my eldest daughter. Ironically, it was a cautionary tale about people keeping monkeys as pets and how it usually doesn't end well. The monkey they used as an example of this, a marmoset called Ruby (coincidentally the name of my younger daughter) was out of control, eating what she wanted, going outside in the garden where she could have been eaten by a bird of prey or a cat, no cage, just doing her thing and getting away with it. Her owners couldn't give her the life she needed and sadly she had to go and live in a monkey sanctuary to live with other miniature monkeys in a safe, monkey friendly environment.

The message was not lost on me, I understood very well that the moral of the story is, monkeys are not pets so don't buy them. But I didn't even know it was legal to keep monkeys as pets in the UK. So I googled it (here we go again!) to find out and sure enough a marmoset is one of the few monkeys you can keep without a licence in the UK. Interesting. They are interesting little creatures, I was intrigued and wanted to find out more, just out of interest you understand. The more I read, the more fascinated I became, I wondered how easy it was to find a marmoset monkey for sale in my area. Hmm, not too far away, only about 20 miles and not as expensive as I had imagined. By this time I had forgotten all about the cautionary tale of Ruby and went to buy the marmoset, Coco, that very same day 😳 so far so good, he's a little cutie but we'll see how that works out...

StrongMom profile image
StrongMom in reply to rach1402

Let is know how it goes with the marmoset!

wolfendoc profile image
wolfendoc

How about this?...I was fired from my job because my poor impulse control caused me to want to spray a freeze type spray at my co-workers. One of them, unintentionally was struck by it in a personal area and the HR ball went rolling from there. My wife is ready to leave me over this because she believes that there is "more to the story." There really isn't more, but my ADHD has also allowed for me to have a history of being less than completely honest. It hurts.

rach1402 profile image
rach1402 in reply to wolfendoc

I believe you, that sounds like a typical act of impulsivity. I hate how stupid it makes you feel when you do something that seems like a harmless bit of fun in the moment but then you realise a split second too late that it was a really bad idea 😬

Bynddrvn profile image
Bynddrvn

One of my therapists mentioned taking a walk to chill out a bit and that advice has really helped.

That said, I would argue that quite a few people have been over the line with victim blaming or with pushing flat out erroneous information.

Can't tell you how many people with NO medical experience or training have suggested a "break" from taking my ADHD medication or have insinuated if not just outright said that I am lazy. I have worked over 100 hours in a single week and I have lost count of the number of all nighters I have pulled at the office.

I wasn't diagnosed with ADHD until I was in college and I have felt the need to "catch up" to where I perceive others to be at the same age.

rach1402 profile image
rach1402 in reply to Bynddrvn

Oh yeah people think having ADHD makes us inferior somehow and think it's OK to patronise us and judge us but they're only making themselves look like idiots because they're just running their mouths about something they don't understand. I'm sick of having to explain myself to people who think my brain function disorder is more of a problem for them than it is for me, especially my own family who are supposed to love me unconditionally and at least try to understand.

Bynddrvn profile image
Bynddrvn in reply to rach1402

That is true. Not to mention how many people think we have an unfair advantage by using medication. The medication just allows us to reach our full potential. If they truly care for us that is what should be important, being the best we can be.

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Karen ADHD Weekly Editor CHADD's National Resource Center on ADHD