I am close to calling it quits with my marriage. I just can't deal with the aggression my husband shows when he is in some sort of reactive time either food or emotionally brought on. It gets directed at me when I am asking a reasonable question or trying to just have conversations. We have been married for nearly 20 years. It has been nothing but ups and downs. He has found drinking isn't something he can do. He knows he has something going on maybe as a comorbid even with ADD.
I notice huge ups and downs brought on by what I think is a food intolerance. My husband who has been diagnosed years ago with ADD (not hyper) and has so many mood swings. Tired, bad memory, crabby, reactive. He has identified wheat, dairy, pork, shrimp and I think corn syrup (or corn in general) as a trigger food. Does anyone have any suggestion how to identify (test for) and treat for these other than elimination diet?
Secondly, I think the trigger food puts him into a tailspin for days. Anyone know about how long these trigger events generally last. I am trying to figure out (he just can't rationalize. He won't even talk about it for days/weeks. While I sit feeling just totally deflated with the treats and horrible comments. I see patterns, but am not with him during the workday.
Thirdly, I think the trigger food gets it going, but not sure if that is the only problem. What if it is something else? Dr. Jeckll and Mr. Hyde so drastic and only to me! Kind, loving, sweet guy to the absolute worst threatening divorce and calling me names in 2 minutes over what he "perceives" as me going "on-and-on" about something, or me questioning him negatively.
PLEASE, PLEASE someone offer me some suggestions. We have done ADD coaching, marriage counseling, read books, restricted food (to only have him have small amounts that can cause a total relapse), mindfulness, anger management classes and he is on Adderall XR.
What doctor in MN can help identify and care for the whole thing? (Nutrition, ADD, depression (maybe), a deeper mental health issue, and relationship stuff.)
I want to be happy. I need help or to just get out! We have a 15-year-old. He only acts this way to me. No one else on earth really sees it except her, but it isn't directed at her thank goodness. I think people think I am the crazy one. They see him tired a lot, but he blames that on his stressful work. I don't want to divorce, but I just can hardly get a full week of peace anymore. Actually, I can't remember the last time he had a full good week!