How to tell my 6 year old about his ADHD diagnosis

[LBPierron]

Hi, I am new here. My very aware 6 year old son was diagnosed with ADHD, mixed 3 days ago. He knew that we were going to the developmental pediatrician to talk about his feelings, but does not know that he was diagnosed. Now that he has a diagnosis and we are going to start him on medication, I am looking for how to tell him/talk to him about his diagnosis. Are there helpful age appropriate books or videos? He loves to read and listen to audiobooks. Thank you and would appreciate any recommendations.

[HeyHeyJade]

I am barely past this point. I did buy Cory stories and she (7 yo) instantly related BUT when I began my explanation she got defensive then kind of shut down. Later to find out from her ADHD scares her and so this might just be a periodic fact giving by me that works. I’m very curious to see what others suggest.

[Blue_Baby_Bear]

Be honest and straight forward. Use something that he can relate to. My husband and I wear glasses. He knows we need them to see. So we told him you know how mommy and daddy have to wear glasses because we have difficulty with our vision. Well we are going to see what is causing you to have difficulty in school and what can help you with that? Once we got his diagnosis, we talked to him about adhd and told him we are trying to find something that will help him with adhd.

[mrl12]

I talked to my daughter about her diagnosis last year. I just explained that everyone is different and struggles with different things. And that she has something called ADHD that makes it a little harder for her sometimes to control her emotions or do things that are boring. I also talked about her strengths and that everyone has different strengths and skills, as well. She has them in spades because she's extremely observant and curious and creative. I also showed her some youtube videos of kids talking about ADHD. Do a youtube search and find something you think will resonate with your child. There are a couple animated videos I showed my daughter. Most of what I have seen are a bit too long and she loses interest before she sees the whole thing, but they help a little bit. Just being able to recognize that ADHD is really common and she's not alone is helpful.

A year later, my now 7 year old is saying things to me like, "How do you know I have ADHD?" "The doctors might be wrong." "I was never even diagnosed." I'm amazed by her ability to question and analyze these types of things. I just tell her that she's right, it's not an exact science. It's not a 100% certainty. The doctors believe it to be the case based on the types of things she struggles with and that the diagnosis is only helpful so that we can make sure she has what she needs at school and that we are able to give her the right medication to help her with some of the things she struggles with so she can focus on the things she loves to do and is really good at. I think it makes her feel a little alone and different. But she's in an inclusive class at school and I know for a fact that other kids in her class were also diagnosed. I'm just not sure if those kids know about their ADHD. One thing I wish we had was an ADHD kid playgroup or something because I really feel like that would be helpful.

There is a youtube channel that I find helpful called How to ADHD. Very short videos. I haven't shown them to my daughter because they're not really created for younger audiences, but they might be helpful anyway. They help me understand ADHD brains a little better, at least.

[GhostOrchid]

My son's therapist just sent me some resources and among it, I found this: drlizangoff.com/2021/01/19/...

To sum it up, her suggestions is the following:

"In our work together, we learned that your brain is built in a way that makes (strengths) come easily and (challenges) much more difficult. It turns out - you’re not alone! This pattern happens a lot, and we call it (ADHD, Autism, Dyslexia, Anxiety, etc.) Now that we know, our job is to maximize your amazing superpowers and find ways to build those trickier skills so that the hard part gets easier. Let’s make a plan!"

[HoldingonLou]

I really like the glasses comparison. There are some really great ideas here. I needed to know this myself. Thank you for asking.

[Onthemove1971]

Thanks for sharing. This will not be the last time you have this conversation with him. What is important is to speak to him in the language and "level" he is at now. I don't even think I told our son the exact label when he was that young. I described the incredible strengths he has and talked about the struggles he described.

Then when he got older and more aware, I used more mature labels.

I always ( evey night) tell him I love him and he is just difference but his future is bright.

I was kinda surprised he listened but didn't ask a lot of questions.

He often notices kids with all the symptoms of ADHD and says how thankful he is that he takes medication.

Hope this helps.

[hrs9qa in reply to Onthemove1971]

I would keep it simple. The medication will help you focus in school.