Hi new here. Struggling

[JabbatheHut45]

I have adhd and my 14 yr old son has adhd. Suspected asd. Undiagnosed ocd. Sensory issues. He struggles to sleep then get up. Can’t get him up this morning. Most mornings he is very aggressive when trying to get him up. We’ve got meeting with school next week Re attendance etc. Is school best thing for him? But would he work at home? Struggles during lockdown. We’re in uk. Thank u

[Aspen797]

So sorry to hear of your son’s struggles. It sounds as though you have some ideas of areas where he might have some undiagnosed need. Are you able to have him evaluated by therapists that treat those areas? In the US, occupational therapists can often help with sensory sensitivities. For sleep, some people find weighted blankets soothing. There are also “body socks” on Amazon that provide similar sensory input at bedtime. Speech therapists help with pragmatic language deficits/social skill communication. Regarding school, that is challenging. A common term that is used to describe it is “School refusal” with anxiety often being at the root. Have you checked out notfineinschool at notfineinschool.co.uk/? They seem to have fairly detailed resources that might be of assistance. I’m sorry that your family is struggling.

[Emerald1011 in reply to Aspen797]

My 10 yo son became a school refuser and each evening was aggressive, anxious and resisting sleep till midnight sometimes. He struggles to focus at school and worries about it the night before. We’re getting help from his school, also a clinical psychologist and he’s been advised to start CBT. In the meantime we have been giving him a quarter of melatonin at 7pm each evening. It has transformed our lives. He falls asleep relaxed and stays in bed all night. Because he’s getting enough sleep, his anxiety over school has reduced and he is no longer aggressive or refusing. It’s a tiny amount of melatonin but it makes a huge difference to his mental well being. Can get on prescription via gp.

[Aspen797 in reply to Emerald1011]

Wow! That’s wonderful. I have heard that the small dose of melatonin (1/4 of a 1mg tab) like you are giving is actually more effective than the bigger dosages. It looks like that is true for your family. So true about the effect of good sleep on behavior and mood too. Our son has always been very sensitive to being tired—behaving a lot more impulsively and emotionally when tired too. Good sleep is so important.

[Imogen33]

My 8 year old girl is getting like this. We’ve noticed if we don’t give her meds at 7am she’ll struggle to get to sleep before 10pm. As for mornings, one day I let her go at her own pace and she was late for school and had to face the consequences. Since then, the fear of getting in trouble at school means she is now yelling at me and her sister to get ready faster…..Also if there are days she tells me she doesn’t want to go to school I say “that’s fine but you have to make the phone cal into the school office and tell them you’re not coming in” That one always works.

[Redpanda5]

This sounds exhausting for you!

Does your son have an IEP with the school? If so, you can get accommodations for this issue if you have documentation from a professional that there is a sleep issue.

A friend of my son in high school had a “modified schedule,” where he didn’t go to school until lunchtime. He of course wasn’t taking all the “extra” classes - only the basics but he graduated high school on schedule. He had some sort of sleep issue.