I need help

[pocky34]

I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was five, I stopped taking meds when I entered high school because I don't like how I feel when I take them (and the fact that I can't eat well). Also, I felt like I could study and do my own thing without any problems and I did pretty well until I got out of high school. I graduated on top of my class, got into the best college in my country, learned three languages, and everyone around me kept telling me how smart and dedicated I was. Now that I'm in college, I just failed two classes that I have to retake next semester and I'm pretty sure my parents are going to have trouble paying for the extra credit. I haven't even told them because I'm terrified of what my mom is going to say. I know she loves me very much, but she is the most perfectionist woman on the planet and it bothers her to know that her daughter isn't perfect no matter how hard she tries to make her perfect. I'm Latina, so mental health is not something my family believes in. To my mom, if I get bad grades it's because I'm lazy and inconsiderate, and the truth is that lately, I believe that. I don't understand why it's so hard for me to concentrate, why I have to sleep more than fourteen hours a day so I don't get tired, why instead of doing what I have to do I do anything else. I feel useless, and I feel that studying at the university is a stupid expense that my parents should keep to themselves. I want to change, but I don't have the money to go back on meds either (and I really don't want to take them). Does anyone know what I can do to change?

[Onthemove1971]

Thank you for sharing with us what you are going through. The college journey is very challanging!

Just curious are you using the services for students with disabilities? They can assist with many things if you qualify, like extended time on assignments, private setting for testing, audiobooks, etc. All of these are available becuase students like you benefit from them. It should be easy to start these services in any school setting. Would you consider starting thearpy so you can get some guidence with dealing with these issues you are struggling with?

The other question is have you tried a few different types of medications? They may not all make you feel the same way and it may take a trial of a few different types.

As far as your patents are considered.. they sound like they really want the best for you and if they understand your struggles, let's hope they would understand.

What about making a plan for what you want then approaching them about it.

Please understand that education is a journey and some people take more time and need extra help. If you are successful in the end that is all that matters. Maybe you could take less classes to decrease how much you have to focus on.

Good luck with this challange.. just a bump in the road to adulthood.

Best to you.

[Harnessinghope]

Hello. To put in all of the effort you have, you’re amazing!

With what you’ve shared, I would recommend that you please seek out a mental health professional. There may be some tips and tricks that they may be able to help you with, without medications.

This sounds like a bit of a slide that will want to try to take action on before it gets too bad. I say that with caution. You have shown that you have the ability to show amazing things without your medication. Ask yourself if you can pull out of this. If the answer is no, please seek help.

I am a mental health professional and also a person with mental health diagnoses. Please take care.

[MaudQ]

It sounds like you’re having a hard time - it’s good that you are reaching out. As On the Move says, I would check out the center for students with disabilities. I would also look into what student health services are available to you so you can get a mental health professional’s opinion and help. It sounds to me like you might be depressed in addition to the adhd - it’s worth checking out. Im not sure if you have health insurance - some schools offer basic services for free. I would definitely look into it. And don’t be afraid to go talk to the financial aid office, too - about medical coverage and the extra classes - it’s always better to know what you’re dealing with.

I teach at a university and, at our school, I would recommend that students reach out to the Dean of Students. At the university I went to, we could reach out to the Dean of our College. It’s good to have one person/office as a starting place - to have a central starting point to help manage the rest of it. They will have more specific guidance regarding your school and your situation than we can here.

Also, does your university have a student association or affinity group for Latinx students? I wonder if you might find some support there?

Finally, you are not alone. A lot of young people go through things like this in college. This is also a hard time to be an adolescent. Many of my students are currently struggling with mental health and academic issues. So, you may find that more of your peers are having similar experiences than you would think.

Please reach back out to this group if you have any more questions.

[Harry73]

I have an 18yrs going through similar situations. For sure I can understand what you are going through. Medication shouldn’t be the ultimate you should aim at. A good Psycologist/ positive enforcement coaching will help.

Something I personally suggested my daughter and trying always to put in place to the best I can with her.

Plan your week & month in advance : breakdown your priorities and aim to achieve the best and not 100%. Scoring each will give a sense of accomplishment. Try not to deviate.

This is what the rows and columns I made for her

Exercise & workout : objective - goal to achieve

Health & Fitness- objective & goal to achieve

Social responsibility- objective & goal to achieve

Education- objective & goal to achieve

( please add activities that give you more joy and put you at ease) focus less on something that is less stressful and challenging.

Personally to me ; Always aim for happiness & passion you like & less behind a profession.

May God bless you,