Child argues/sasses other adults

[AlltheLegos]

Lately my 8 yo son has started arguing and getting sassy with the parents of his friends. He's always been strong willed with us, but other people always told me how sweet he was. Lately, I've witnessed him being less than sweet with other adults (it's usually when parents change their mind about something, as he has a very hard time accepting something different than expected). I'm mortified by the behavior and afraid he's going to get a bad reputation in the neighborhood. Obviously, I've talked with him about it. When I catch it, I correct it and there are consequences when appropriate, but I'm not always there. Any other advice? I don't share his ADHD with other people as I feel it's not their business, but then stuff like this happens and I'm stumped.

[acresho1]

It's hard for sure. My son is similar as you described. I signed up for positive parenting solutions gold program and it helps! I would recommend it. They give different tool and processes to use to help keep them in check. I think they would recommend more one on one time each day as they need their power and attention bucket filled! Good luck

[AlltheLegos in reply to acresho1]

Thank you. I think that makes a lot of sense. I homeschool my son, so sometimes I feel like we spend a TON of time together, but from his perspective it's probably not what really fills his attention bucket. I need to refocus on getting some fun one-on-one with him again. Thank you for the advice!

[Momtrying]

You’re right in that it isn’t anybody else’s business what is going on with your child. But it does help so much when people understand that there are things that you are trying to work on with your child because he can’t quite understand the effects of his actions or his words. That doesn’t mean you always need to apologize for his behavior, but if there is a way to add his ADHD into a conversation it might help people see him the way he needs to be seen. As someone who is trying, with a few limitations in decision making. And you never know, you might find someone else going through a similar thing right in your own neighborhood!

[Onthemove1971]

I would try and explain to our son..When you act like this X... then Y will happen and that person will not want you around or will not want to be your friend.

I know it might be hard but don't be mortified, he is still very young and has a lot of growing up to do. I would be that is 5 years things will look very different for him and you. Good friends should stick around and the others you don't really need.

I have never shared with even close friends/family our sons struggles.

Hope this helps..

[momofjust2boys]

I homeschooled my kids and yes-they don't feel the time learning counts as mom and kid time (boy I sure did!) Thinking outside the box for correction is a good too. My son would have huge meltdowns-throw things and scream and yell. One time I video taped him and let it play out. Then I showed him the video-he was mortified. He tried much harder to control his temper. My older son constantly lied. One day I said "I don't believe anything you say-you will have to prove to me what you're saying is true." So even if he would say "I would like some ice cream" I would say "I don't believe you-prove it". One day he broke down and cried and begged me to believe him. That kid is now 23 and gets on to me for telling little white lies. If you need a place to start, try this book amazon.com/Creative-Correct...

[AlltheLegos in reply to momofjust2boys]

Wow, those are some creative ideas. Fits and lies are issues here too...may have to check that out.