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Indigo86

Hello! I am new to the ADHD world. My boyfriend's 6 year old daughter was diagnosed around October/November of last year. We recently have seen an increase in outbursts when asked to do something, not do something or told she can't have something. Our situation is a little complicated, her biological mother has her a few nights a week and/or every other weekend, remainder of the time she is with her father. Her paternal grandmother was keeping her at night for her father to work up until a month ago as I do not live with her father at the moment. We're concerned that her sudden behavior changes may be due to her grandmother not caring for her at night and her getting her way all the time as well as the lack of consistency between house holds (mother allows constant use of electronics, we do not, etc). Has anyone else experienced something similar? She seems to think she should get something every time we're out whether she's been good or bad. She yells at her father. I've noticed when she gets upset or frustrated that she wants to break or throw things. The smallest thing sends her in to a meltdown. She thinks it's funny when her father tries to correct her. It breaks my heart to see her father frustrated and feeling like he isn't doing right by her and seeing her upset because we are trying to enforce rules and discipline.

Any good resource suggestions? I've mentioned counseling and us even taking some parenting classes to learn better management skills. Anything I can read on my own until we can get that set up would be much appreciated.

Thank you!

6 Replies

chadd.thinkific.com/collect... There are several books out there to check into as well "ADHD 101 A Guidebook for Parents" by Greg M. Romaneck and Derek Harkema, "The Explosive Child" by Ross W. Greene and "From Defiance to Cooperation" by John F. Taylor, PH.D. are a few to start. ADDitude magazine is a great resource as are numerous other websites, such as this one. Also several parenting courses such as: Nurturing Heart, Strengthening Families, love and logic, parent management training, trust based relational interventions training etc.

Indigo86 profile image
Indigo86 in reply to JakeOvery

Thank you for your recommendations.

Oh wow, this is a loaded situation and I applaud you for wanting to step in and help. The first thing that stood out to me is how many adults are involved in supervision. This makes it quite complicated because one of the first things taught to parents is to be consistent with discipline and rewards. So many adults involved and doing different things makes this very tricky to implement. I would try to get the counseling you suggested, going ASAP because you can’t really start any type of consistent discipline program until everyone in charge of the child is on board. You didn’t mention medication but this is also an important step.

You asked for things to read on your own until you’re in counseling To limit your frustration about books that will give you the ideal situation (1-2 parents in charge) I recommend to start by googling “ADHD and shared custody” to bring you to articles more applicable to your situation. From there, many articles will lead you to books that will be applicable to you. I’m afraid that just reading a general book on ADHD may be frustrating if you’re looking for ideas to implement because those tend to start from a more ideal situation.

You’ve come to a great place. The people on this board have helped and encouraged me so much.

Indigo86 profile image
Indigo86 in reply to Redpanda5

Thank you! And yes, too many hands in the pot so to speak. Her biological mother isn't the easiest of people to deal with. I'd like to have a conversation with all involved in her care to make rules and disciplines that we use at all households. Day at a time. Thank you for your recommendations.

Here is one article to get you started.

additudemag.com/shared-cust...

Indigo86 profile image
Indigo86 in reply to Redpanda5

Thank you!

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