10 & 5 with ADHD recently diagnosed

[Momma23boys]

I’m a mom of three boys aged 10,5,&8 months. My two oldest were diagnosed in January of 2021 with adhd. The oldest also with dyslexia. I am looking for any advice,links, chats, etc. to help me relate to and help me help my boys. Also my husband has anxiety and ADHD. He does not medicate for ADHD just his anxiety. My oldest is more on the inattentive side and my 5yr old is a combination of both. We have tried a lot of different things over the past few months and are now considering medication. His Pediatritian wants to prescribe methylphenidate. I feel as if I’m lost and idk what to do.

[Hidden]

Well, you're not alone, so there's that. ❤ I'm sure you'll research that medication. In the meantime, know that others share your struggle(s,) are thinking of you, and send strength and energy and hugs.

6 family members here with anxiety, depression and ADHD. It's hardest though when they also manifest some amount of ODD. Since that's very common, you may have that in the mix as well? ❤

[Momma23boys in reply to Hidden]

Pediatritian is suspecting my 5yr old may land somewhere on the Autism spectrum or ODD as well. My 10 yr old has dyslexia anxiety and I’m sure a tad of OCD. Deep down I knew the diagnosis but hearing it for two at the same time still hit me differently.

[Hidden in reply to Momma23boys]

I hear that. ❤❤❤ I can relate totally! You are among kindred spirits here.

[Momtrying]

Have you read any books on ADHD? That really helped me understand what’s going on in my children’s brains. I would recommend Understanding adhd (it’s long and I prob only read the first half so don’t get overwhelmed by how big it is) and 12 principles for raising a child with adhd by Russell Barkley. It’s so hard to stay patient but educating yourself helps you see how your kids aren’t trying to give you a hard time. They are having a hard time. My 12 year old is on adderall, after trying concerta and I’m pretty happy with how much it helps him. Just be prepared for some trial and error with different meds and dosing but medicine can do wonders.

The great thing about kids that are all over the place is that they have such big hearts too! They are passionate which means they can be so fun. I try to remember that when I’m crying at the end of some very hard days.

Good luck with the meds -patience

[Momma23boys in reply to Momtrying]

I have done some reading online and just ordered a couple books. I will add the 2 you suggested. I have constant guilt that I’ve been parenting wrong for so long and it’s hindered my kiddos. Just pushing through and changing my approaches.

[Hidden in reply to Momma23boys]

For What it's worth, you're a GREAT parent. I know this bc of your concern and bc of your open-minded willingness to learn new skill sets, see through others' lenses, and learn about other ways of being. I have recently learned how NOT about my parenting skills this was/is, and that has been a HUGE help. Before that though, like you, I blamed myself in part and as a result, was spending energy on guilt and second guessing myself (among other emotions.) Now that I know this has nothing to do with me, my energy is better focused and directed and I'm less hard on myself. I hope the fact that you are actually a GREAT parent (you're not ignoring your kids' challenges like so many parents) helps you to feel better too. ❤

[Momma23boys in reply to Hidden]

This made me cry! I needed to hear this. Thank you so much! I’m constantly telling myself I need to see things through eyes and explain things the way they will understand and comprehend. Reading as much as I can has helped so much. And the kind words from everyone here definitely helps also.

[Momtrying in reply to Momma23boys]

No guilt! Yes, we feel bad about how we react to them but like you said, you push through and move on. We won’t ruin our children 😂 if you’re trying they will look back and see that you did your best.

[Momma23boys in reply to Momtrying]

I sure hope so! Everything we do is for them.

[Hidden]

Momtrying offers valuable thoughts!

My kids are older, so not directly the same challenges as you, but it might (or might not) also help you if you think about how everything you do now is less he/she/they will have to navigate later. Having the diagnosis, hard as it is, is better now than getting it after 21 yo. ❤

[Momma23boys in reply to Hidden]

I keep telling myself this. Thank you for the kind words.

[olaughll]

Hello,I'm new to this site and this is my first post. I have been raising my 7 year old grandson since he was 2. He was diagnosed with ADHD over this past year and symptoms are getting progressively worse. He is in virtual school and has trouble everyday. I've tried to be his para during class but I work full time. I am in crisis this morning because he began Adderal xr 10 mg 2 days ago. He did not sleep the last 2 nights and had raging tempers, way worse than normal. He was ranting and yelling while awake in the night. This is totally abnormal. It was prescribed by a psychiatric NP. I'm getting ready to leave a message with her. I want to stop the medication that I had hoped would be our savior. Does it take time to work? Will these side effects end? Is it worth the obvious emotional pain?

[Momma23boys in reply to olaughll]

Both my boys just started medication a week apart. My younger one did not sleep through the night the first couple night. His psychiatrist stating to give him no more than 3mg of melatonin at night to help him sleep and it has helped tremendously. He stated it could take a week or two to really see if the medication is working but so far so good. Definitely talk to his psychiatrist and whoever else to see if that is normal. I’m new to the ADHD world and still learning myself.

[Beach_lover]

Hi... my son was just prescribed methylphenidate and it has changed him for the better..,it has helped in all areas: attention, impulse, ODD... etc. He has no side effects and has also done a lot better in the last 3 days

[Momma23boys in reply to Beach_lover]

My boys seem to be doing well minus the not sleeping through the night but with melatonin my youngest one seems to do just fine. The older one like to read books to make him sleepy and I’m ok with that.