Is daytime wetting normal for 6year old with adhd?

[Lolmama]

I'm curious if anyone else is experiencing issues with wetting during the day with ADHD kids over age 6. My son struggled with potty training at 3 and a couple of months. While he is not having full blown accidents, he is avoiding going to the bathroom until the very last second despite countless prompts, incentives, etc. And he also pees a little to release so his underwear is damp many days. I think it's because he is immersed in what he's doing and fears missing out but we went to a pediatric urologist who said that is not normal even though he has ADHD. So we are trying to rule out medical issues, but the doctor on the meantime has advised I increase his water intake to 5 cups a day. He was probably drinking 2 before. Anyway, getting him to drink the water is causing a lot of tension. We went several months without aggression and he recently had 2 pretty intense tantrums. I worked hard with behavioral mgt techniques to get the aggressive behavior under control and I wondered whether pushing the water was worth it. If others experienced this and kids eventually grew out of it, I just wondered if I can help him some other way.

[Hidden]

My son did the same thing - I'm not a doctor, of course, but in my experience with other parents of ADHD kids, this is totally normal. My son would be so busy playing, he would forget and then have an accident.

He grew out of it about 8-ish. But even today, age 10, he still waits to the last minute (he's just better about getting there in time now.)

ADHD kids will avoid doing anything that is not the immediate, preferred task, and they also avoid doing things where there's no "reward" so to speak. So it's not just the bathroom. He'll avoid homework. He'll avoid chores. Bedtime. Brushing teeth. Going potty is no different.

Going to the bathroom is boring, and he doesn't 'get' anything out of it, so of course he's going to delay it to the last minute.

Honestly, we basically just reminded him to go before starting a task, and had him change his own clothes right away when it happened. Other than that, we just ignored it. He'll eventually grow out of it, and he did. It's just their brains are wired for "INSTANT GRATIFICATION" and there is none here. And don't forget, ADHD kids are typically 2 years younger, mentally, than their actual age. So if he's 6, expect him to act roughly 4, and this is normal for a 4 year old. There's no point in punishing or fighting over something his brain isn't fully developed enough yet to do.

I would remove this from your "worry" list right away Doctors are not always right, especially doctors who don't specialize in ADHD. You know your kid best.

Slightly unrelated example: My son gets the Open Book Quiz from school - only 5 questions, and he's basically supposed to find the answer in the book and copy it down. He sometimes gets F's on these because "they're just so boring" even though the answer is literally already there in the book! So Yes, ADHD kids will literally avoid anything and everything that is boring, no matter how easy it seems to us.

[Lolmama in reply to Hidden]

Thanks this is helpful. I will likely ease up on making him drink so much water to avoid one area of tension because right now there are so many others.

[Onthemove1971]

What do you think about getting him a watch and setting it 3 to 4 times a day and if when it goes off and he goes to the bathroom he gets his favorite reward, I would make it really big! You may also start with 1-2x it goes off then once it is established increase it to more often. I agree with the other posts, don't worry about if this is normal or not. It sounds like he is hyper focused and this is totally normal for our kids. I think this is just a stage he is in.

Hope it works, let us know if you try it.

Good luck.

[Lolmama in reply to Onthemove1971]

Thanks we haven't tried the watch but we have tried timers and incentives and he hates being reminded. He actually broke down one day because he noticed his 3 yearold sister is better at going potty than he is and that we don't remind her. I honestly didn't know what to say beyond everyone is different and has different things they are good at and struggle with. Then I tried to remind him of stuff he is good at but I could tell he still felt pretty awful.

[Onthemove1971 in reply to Lolmama]

The reason for the watch is that it is not someone telling him. Even if you start it 1x a day, but the reward is key If he sees the reward as great he will work harder for it.

Of course this is an area he hates, but there are many many reasons to help him with this.

Best of luck

[Birdwatcher19]

My daughter was like this. For years, I’d find the damp underwear in her hamper. Not a full-blown accident, but she would just wait too long because she wouldn’t want to stop what she was doing. She did eventually outgrow it on her own, though I don’t remember what age, exactly.