Hi I’m new here and have already learned so much by reading through so many posts, but I’m still feeling conflicted over how to help my almost 8 yr old son.
To give some quick background: my husband and I adopted our son from birth and started noticing concerning emotional behavior as young as 12 months. I believe that adoption trauma exists and happens in in utero and to infants. When I spoke to two pediatricians about this I was brushed off and told I was a nervous first time mom and that his behavior was normal. Fast forward to age 3.5 and his preschool teacher suggesting he get evaluated at school. They said he showed symptoms of SPD and hyperactivity. He was given an IEP plan. His behavior progressively got worse. He was being bullied every day and was soon becoming the bully. He was also sexually assaulted by an older child on the bus when he was in kindergarten. We notified the school since our son thankfully told us the day it happened. The school called CPS and the situation was handled by them beautifully but ever since then his behavior has become so much more difficult to handle. And on top of that he was falling behind in school so I took him out last year halfway through first grade to start homeschooling.
Our son has been in play therapy since he was 3. He’s always loved his therapists but we have never seen a change in his behavior. He gets violent, screams, bangs into things and people, throws himself on the floor, destroy his toys, scratches walls, mocks my husband and I, he’s triggered by the smallest physical pain, he laughs hysterically if we get frustrated with him, talks and makes mouth noises constantly, and has massive meltdowns anytime we ask him to clean up his toys. My husband and I feel so exhausted and defeated.
I have talked to his therapist a few times about getting him treatment for ADHD and she keeps telling me that he has trauma that presents itself as ADHD and that we need to get to the root cause of the trauma to help him and while I agree with that, I also know that his behavior is hurting his self perception and confidence. He’s now saying things like “I’m the worst, I ruin everything, what is wrong with me!!” His therapist also thinks that we should only use homeopathic treatments because she’s seen bad results from other patients on ADHD medications. But we’ve been doing homeopathic treatments on and off for years with no change.
At what point do I continue to let my son suffer instead of seeking other treatment options like medication? I have actually set up an appointment with a psychiatrist but that appointment isn’t for a few weeks
I feel good about this decision but I guess my question is if it’s truly trauma causing my son’s ADHD, is medication going to help or hurt him? Anyone else out there with children who have trauma and ADHD?
I realize I’ve written a novel here lol but any advice would be so greatly appreciated!