When will he stop having pee accidents?

[azulaco]

Honest question: does anyone have adult ADHD kids who still have trouble getting to the bathroom on time? Because it honestly feels like my son will never, ever get past having pee accidents, mostly during hyperfocus. He’s almost seven. He’s going to be in first grade this fall, and I’m really worried that he’s going to start getting teased or bullied for this. I know that potty training experts say “You’ll get past this - no one goes to college in diapers!” Well, I’m starting to wonder. His hyperfocus is not ever going to go away. Meanwhile, I’ve been trying to completely potty train this child for over four years. I’m at my wits’ end here. Let’s not even talk about night training - he’s still in a pull-up at night, can’t stay dry overnight and doesn’t wake up if he has an accident, even if he’s in regular underwear. Anyone who has kids who did eventually, stop having pee accidents...what happened to change your child’s patterns?

[SylvieS]

I feel you! We are at age 8 now and while it is slightly better he still has smaller leaks almost daily. I’ve come to the point where I am just going to wait it out and try to minimize the social impact. I bought him special underwear that is lined. It doesn’t stop full wetting accidents but is good for the smaller leaks that my son mostly has these days. They look and feel like regular underwear so no one would be able to tell. They were insanely expensive and can’t go through the dryer but they are worth it. My son doesn’t mind them unless it is a really hot day then he says the are too warm. I think he appreciates the social protection. I also bought some disposable liners but I’m not sure he can manage them on his own yet. Also spendy unfortunately. Will he be having accidents by the time he is an adult? Probably not. But will he still struggle with this until middle school-I’m expecting it. You are not alone!

[SylvieS]

One more thing, I’ve posted before about using a bed alarm for night time training. It was pure torture for the first month but it worked. We did it last summer. If your pediatrician is on board I definitely recommend starting it during the summer as it disrupts sleep initially.

[Pennywink]

Have you discussed this with his pediatrician? If not, I’d start there.

If it’s just small leaks, you might see if he’ll go for reusable incontinence / menstrual pads. I just got a pack of 6 that are panty liner size for @ $10, but they do carry more absorbent ones as well.

Here’s some in a not pink flowery pattern:

amazon.com/dp/B07K68G39T/re...

[Nlmom]

Does he take guanfacine or intuniv? Those are known to have kids have accidents. When my son was on guanfacine he was still wearing a pull up at night.

[Pennywink in reply to Nlmom]

Interesting - I did not know that. When son was on it, he reported waking up in the middle of the night (though I didn’t notice this.) I wonder if it was because he had to use the 🚽.

[azulaco in reply to Nlmom]

No, he takes Adderall. That’s good to know about those meds, though.

[Hidden]

I had two sons wetting themselves day and night. My oldest one automatically stopped at age 11, age 15 now, he got up one early morning by himself and went to the bathroom, that act stopped him from peeing day and night (go figure) and it was bad, his urine smell was very awful. Now, I was so hopeful for my second son to have the same apifnie, no such thing. He did stopped wetting himself in the day time around age 11, I rode it out, no pull ups, nothing special other than the help of his teachers who agreed to place him on a bathroom schedule every hour and he has to go rather if he has to pee or not. Then there was the regular bathroom breaks and lunch breaks. He to is hypefocus!!!, we definitely knows what that means, but with the bathroom schedule I listed he is finally dry during the day. Now the night time wetting is still an issue and he is 13. He has already been tested by his doctor everything normal, he does take quancfine but in the am, by time night comes, his meds has ran it's course. My son is a heavy sleeper, to say heavy sleeper will be a understatement. I used to wake him up a night but read this is not good, I set his alarm clock at night and read this is not good. I get up at least two times a night some of the times for me but most of the times for my dogs who can't tell time. When he hears me open the door, he supposed to get up, that worked about two weeks and now he's back to sleeping dead to the world, so I'm back to waking him up two times a night. That seems to be the magic number in the past if he go once at night, he will wake up wet, twice he has a better chance. I know I can't be waking him up for the rest of my life to go pee, and I have started looking at some bedwetting alarms but not sure which one will work without spending an arm and a leg. I should mentioned that the doctor did say that my son may have a small/ weak bladder that don't hold too much liquids. He supposed to drink a lot of water to stretch his bladder then make him hold his urine for a few minutes before going. I would like for him to keep up with this routine but no such luck. Unfortunately, sometimes I forget myself and we have not been doing this consistently. Perhaps before school starts, I will begin placing him on a bathroom schedule then ask his teachers to carry over this schedule, and secondly we may have to get that bedwetting alarm.

[anirush]

My grandson did not have accidents during the day but wore nighttime "diapers" until almost age 9. Then he suddenly stayed dry. His pediatrician kept saying he had an immature bladder and give it time. He is now 14, 5"11 and has had no problems with his bladder since.

[Elijah1]

This behavior (not making it to the bathroom on time due to focus on a preferred activity) gets better (our adult son no longer does it). Make sure that he doesn't have constipation, which can contribute to this problem.

[Pennywink in reply to Elijah1]

Good point! We only had issues with nighttime wetness, but noticed it was much more likely if he was constipated.

[Revelation14]

Hi. I can empathize. My sister’s son stopped wetting the bed at age ten so I had hopes that my ADHD son would too at that age. Didn’t happen until he was 13. Hang in there. I thought it would NEVER happen, but one night he made it without a pull up. He still has occasional accidents but these are rare now. Hugs.

[sebastianadhd]

It gets better but man, my daughter is 12 and it still happens occasionally. It happened 3 times over the weekend which was a really bad weekend for her. She wears a pullup to bed still as she does not wake up dry still at 12, and was in pullups during the day until she was 9 I think. We went out of pullups around age 6 and it was really tough, like you're experiencing. We went back to them until she was dry more consistently.

[Ananonymouslyme]

Unfortunately I have a reply that you might not like as much. I'm currently 23 years old and have adhd and still have semi frequent daytime accidents. It's not very often anymore, but about once every few weeks/ 2 months ish. I become too focused on whatever it is that I'm doing and forget to use the bathroom. I've been medically cleared, there is no other reason than the fact that I simply forget. I sometimes choose to wear pull ups when I go out to minimise embarrassment, but only when I'm going somewhere where I probably won't have a bathroom within 5 minutes reach/ expect to be too excited and focused on other things. I hope you understand that it can be quite embarrassing for the child as well and they are most likely not doing this on purpose, so whatever you do please try to communicate that this is just to help them and not because you're angry at them. I often got scolded for having accidents as a kid and as I got older people struggled to understand more and more