Son Kicked Out of Summer Camp

[MunchkinMommy537]

My HFA/ADHD kid decided to hit and kick some counselors at daycamp yesterday and today, and got himself kicked out of the program. We still have 5 weeks before school starts, and my husband and I both work. I need to know what y’all do with your kids for the summer. I had surgery earlier this year so my PTO is gone. My husband’s company is short staffed, so he really can’t take off right now. Not working is not an option.

[Crunchby]

First, I'm sorry, this sucks. It's so hard to have a challenging child and try to maintain a two income home. Not sure of your son's age? Mine (ADHD) was very aggressive between ages 4-6, (she is 12 now) and we were kicked out of one private uppity preschool b/c she threw a chair. Not at anyone, just threw it at the wall...so, phew..whats the problem? That was it buddy, we were OUT! We both worked and did not have childcare lined up. So, then there were 2 or maybe 3 more preschools that showed us the door for impulsive aggressive behavior. One place, she was freaking out and while she was waiting in the principals office for us to pick her up, she threw her computer on the floor. Then the summer camps..ah, honestly, I lost count. 3? Something about sand on her toes she couldn't get off..and a bus driver yelling at her to come?? It's all a bit of a blur now. Anyway, looking back, the 'traditional' settings do not work for these kids, at least at a young age when they have not developed coping skills. A bit of light? Mine just came home today from a 'traditional' YMCA overnight camp and had a blast. It was like I had a 'normal' kid. She was non-stop talk about her 'friends' and the games they played. Still a LONG way from 'normal', but it does get better.

Not sure where you are, but there are camps that are designed for special needs kids. Mine is going to SOAR next week, (ADHD/LD) but Tailsman has a program for HFA. Hope this help. hugs.

[Cjkchamp]

Oh my am I living your life right now. My son got kicked out of the after school program that runs the summer program. We are luckily on year round, but I have seven weeks of no childcare. We just completed week five, and despite the stressors of school I’m looking forward to it starting. My husband had surgery and was home the first two weeks. The last three he and I have been taking turns. I hate not being on a schedule!!!! I wish I had some definitive advice for you. We were looking into alternative programs further from our home and a lot more expensive. I contacted two programs willing to accept him, but they let me know if there were issues I would need to pick him up. My heart goes out to you. It puts parents who work outside of the home in a real bind. You might want to do a search in your area for programs related to ADHD. One of the programs that came up for me was a program where the owners have children who are autistic and they are very willing to work with all kinds of kids. You never know what you might find.

[Lostmama]

Same thing happened with my 7yr old son after only 1 week in summer camp. Husband and I both work as well. We had to send him to Alabama with his grandma for the summer because we literally had no other choice. Last summer was the same thing, he got kicked out of summer camp after 2 weeks. I thought it would be better this year because he's on a better medication but I guess summer camp and the amount of kids they had was too overwhelming and too stimulating for him. I wish they had summer programs or after school programs specifically for kids with special needs but they don't

[anirush]

My grandson got kicked out of summer camp every year. We didn't even try this year even though he is now 12 and they have camps for older kids through the school district. Throw in a couple of daycares he was thrown kicked out of and that's our life.

With daycares we would just try a new one and things would go OK for a while.

Relatives also work well if you have one.

No easy answers on this one.

[ColesMom]

My son comes close to getting kicked out of everything. Every day is a stressful wonder if he will make it another day. We have had to buckle down on the consequences at home. But, since you are already kicked out and your question is regarding childcare options, can you look for an inhome sitter? A highschool or college student, since it is summer break? Maybe some one on one will work out better.

[MunchkinMommy537 in reply to ColesMom]

Oh we had a one on one sitter for most of the school year, but she stole $700 from our son (cub scout fundraising money), so we’re very wary of who we let into our house.

[WarriorWorrier in reply to MunchkinMommy537]

It’s hard but keep trying the sitters. Where are you? What state? If you don’t mind my asking

[MunchkinMommy537 in reply to WarriorWorrier]

GA, 45 minutes south of Atlanta

[WarriorWorrier in reply to MunchkinMommy537]

I am in NY. Wish we could all brainstorms creative solutions for our kids. I will follow this.

[reg2018]

I was going to suggest the same thing as ColesMom - if you can't find a summer rec program, maybe a college student who needs the cash and is home for summer from school.

[Crunchby]

SOAR has camps very close to you, in NC, about 3 hour drive. The are strictly ADHD. Tailsman is ADHD and autism also in NC. talismancamps.com/

[MunchkinMommy537 in reply to Crunchby]

SOAR camps don’t start till age 8. The Talisman camp is $4200 for 17 days...and both my husband and I have to work so you can probably guess we’re not rolling in money. Thanks for the suggestions, but that’s way over my (and anyone I know) budget.

[Crunchby in reply to MunchkinMommy537]

Yeah, I hear ya. Its a splurge for us for sure. We both work too. We just sold our house so decided we wanted to see if this could have a real impact on her social skills. Honestly, we were at the point of sending her to inpatient treatment, bc the explosive behavior has gotten so bad. She went to traditional camp last week and had no issues, or at least nothing anyone called us about. She starts sat at soar, we shall see.

[NGU-NeverGivingUp]

Hi MunchkinMommy537

I know your pain. My son was also kicked out of the town's park and rec day camp and we both work. As a parent advocate I have done a lot of research around this situation. From what I can gather your son is possibly being discriminated against based on his "disability". Many camps, day care centers, etc. need to become more aware of federal laws and follow them. If they are found to be in violation there are some very substantial penalties.

It's a little complicated to say the least but take a look at the link below. Also the paragraph below the link is taken from that page. Feel free to reply with questions and I'll do my best to find answers.

bit.ly/504-accommodations-a...

"These laws are intended to protect persons with disabilities against discrimination on the basis of their disabilities. Section 504 defines a person with a "handicap" as any person who (i) has a physical or mental impairment which substantially limits one or more major life activities; (ii) has a record of having such an impairment; or (iii) is regarded as having such an impairment [34 C.F.R. 104.3 (J)(i)]."

[MyAdHdSon in reply to NGU-NeverGivingUp]

That’s great information! My son was kicked out of two day camps this month. It’s a very frustrating situation when the staff at these facilities don’t have the proper training to deal with children with disabilities. My son has been through 3 different schools and non of these teachers are trained to handle children with needs. I have fought the Board of Education for an IEP for my son and they refuse to give him one because he doesn’t have a learning disability, so the only thing they offered was a 504 Plan. Whether our children attends a regular school and camp for the summer, these organizations need to properly train their staff, teachers, and counselors on how to handle children with disabilities so our children can be in a normal environment.

[Crunchby]

Interesting. Thx for sharing. I always thought if a school or camp is private they can do aka kick out whoever they want.

[Lili2012]

I relate to you 100% sadly. The first camp we tried this year, my son made it 3 weeks before I got the call that it wasn't a "good fit" and to please come pick him up. So then I signed him up for Lego camp thinking "he loves Legos that might work." Nope! It is literally the 2nd day of camp and I already received calls and text messages from the teachers, and an e-mail from the director threatening to kick him out. Luckily I was able to get my money refunded for an upcoming Lego camp I already paid for. He was kicked out of private school, and he was nearly kicked out of the after-school program at the public school, but I threatened legal action for discrimination so they conveniently placed him in the specials after-school program which basically means he gets to just play computer games the whole time so he stays out of trouble. He is going to a computer camp next week and I am just praying that he doesn't get kicked out. I dread when my phone rings because I already know that it's not going to be a pleasant call, whether it's the school or a camp it is never good. I am at a loss of what to do with him. Like other people have said, there are just no options for people with special-needs kids that are convenient and reasonably priced. I guess they assume parents with special-needs kids are loaded?? There is a private school here in Atlanta that is strictly for ADHD and autistic kids and it is $22,000 per year. Who can afford $2,200 a month for a 10 month school year?? I guess I should quit my job and start an ADHD camp. Sounds like there's a need for it.

[MunchkinMommy537 in reply to Lili2012]

I’m just south of Atlanta in Newnan. You would think a big city would have more resources for special needs, but it’s been incredibly hard to find ADHD specific programs. My son also has been diagnosed with autism, which qualifies him for ABA therapy, and that seems to be helping with the impulsive behavior (the problem with multiple diagnoses is knowing which one is causing the behavior so you know how to address it). There is a daycare that several people with special needs kids recommended, but their summer camp program was full, as was the YMCA. we were lucky enough to be able to bring our 16 year old niece to stay with us for the rest of the summer to watch him, but if she hadn’t been available or willing to help, I don’t know what I would have done.

[GMarie76]

It is like a record on repeat!Every year we struggle with this same scenario. Covid has been better since it opened up a work from home environment and I am able to be home 80% of the week. The other day I was doing a drop in daycare.

What I found outside of this was to enroll him for shorter periods...which I shall refer to as the honeymoon period. A week here and there. That seemed to elongate the tolerance of his behaviors since he had less time to ramp up. My son is handsy, argumentative and always seems to get into a way with peers where they fight and cause trouble.

I have come to allow him to suffer the consequences of getting kicked out and the hit to his self-esteem. Hoping that will motivate him. What else can we do!

I know he prefers to be with other kids and having fun. I cannot fix everything. And to give you perspective...his words and thoughts when he was kicked out of one summer camp were "you cannot just get me in another camp?" Ugh no!

There is a line of reality.

And when he is with me...I essentially mix in schoolwork thru the summer to prevent additional summer slide. The days are long and he would just sit on digital all day otherwise. Which I find makes his behaviors worsen.