Getting in trouble at school.

[Madmarie]

I’m a little frustrated with my sons special ed teacher. I just feel like she’s sort of worn out with my son, and isn’t willing to make the modifications and adjustments necessary. Long story short, I’ve been in to observe him, and to help out. There is another boy in the class room who has Autism. He’s high functioning. He gets frustrated yells, last week he was calling his aid a jerk. He’s pretty defiant, and disrespectful at times. Apparently today he was yelling, and my son got annoyed and was telling him to stop. The teacher asked my son to quit confronting him about the yelling, but my son kept on. The kid charged after my son with a pencil. My son is in trouble, and got in school suspension for not stopping, and making the kid mad. My son as issues controlling his emotions too! I feel like there quick to excuse the Autistic kids behavior, and make adjustments, but when it comes to my son there’s no tolerance. He immediately gets in trouble! He should be talked to about the behavior. I’m certainly not making excuses. My son has a learning disability, and behavioral problems. He gets frustrated and sometimes lets his emotions get the best of him. I’ve tried talking to her and principal about letting him leave when he needs to cool down. Maybe talk to the school counselor, or go to a designated quiet place. Trying to work with my son, teaching him about training his brain to use the pause button. Am I wrong to be upset?

[anirush]

Do you have an IEP? That's still only way to get a cool down approved, or the let him leave the Room temporarily come is the have it written into that. Even then the teacher sometimes don't follow through, you have to stay on top of it.

[Janice_H]

Of course you are not wrong in the way you feel. We always want what is best for our children regardless of the circumstances. Talk with your teacher and guidance counselor who can make recommendations on how to de-escalate situations like this if they occur in the future. It is common that autistic children have difficulty with quiet times. You can help your son understand their differences by reading him books about autistic children. I'm sure your son is an awesome kid but was pushed to his limits on this particular day.

[Crunchby]

No, you should be upset, but an IEP/504 would give you some footing on countering any discipline the school imposes. Medication will help him, that's just fact. Of course it is your choice. I waited until mine was 10 before we started meds, and regret not starting sooner. Not for the teachers or other kids, but for my kid. It really helps her control herself...it's like giving insulin to a diabetic. Anyway, good luck! If you haven't seen the Russell Barkley video, recommend it.

[Madmarie in reply to Crunchby]

Thank you for your response. He’s on medication, he’s. been on medication since he was seven. For him definitely it helps, but it’s not perfect. His biggest issues are controlling those emotions. I know the teacher was out of the room, so it was just the aid dealing with 2 strong willed boys. My son admits that he should have listened to the aid, and let her handle it. I’m going to try and move past it. He does have a IEP. There is not a 504 in place. Trying to get him in with a behavioral therapist to try and help him handle his emotions better. He does have ODD. I don’t think it’s to the extreme. He handles the consequences of his actions, and I know he regrets his behavior after the fact. I did see the Russell Barkley video, and I have a book shelf full of books on the subject. The doctor just added a low dose generic intuniv to his medication. I have noticed it has helped with some of the aggression, and frustrations he has. His home room teacher says he’s doing much better in her room. I just feel like we take a step forward, and 10 steps back sometimes.

[MomLeslieM]

I would be upset too! Sure the other boy is not always able to control his behaviors and emotions but neither is your son! It does seem a bit extreme to me that he got ISS however, was it maybe a way to keep the 2 boys apart for the rest of the day?? If you think that being able to have a cool down place would help him (and it probably would) I would ask for that to be amended into his IEP right now - don't wait until whenever his next review is. Be sure that you think through with your son what would really help him and have it completely spelled out in the IEP - does he have to ask the teacher first? Can he just get up and walk out? Does he need a pass to go? Is there a limit to how many times/day he can use the cool down place? Where is the cool down place? What happens in the cool down place? If you can work out some of those things ahead of time with your son and then with the teacher it will make the process a lot smoother.

Remember, YOU know what's best for your son and if you need to fight for him DO IT!

[Kiandra]

No!!! Not at all. They are kids and your son should be able to learn in an healthy safe stresd free environment!!! That is crazy! They should remove your son immediately when that child get disrespectful he's only trying to help the aid!!!!