Homework.

[cwood1222]

I have a 6 yr old little girl who we have known she had ADHD since she was 3 and have been managing it and fighting every step of the way to figure out what to do to help her. Well tonight homework was the straw that broke this camels back. After watching her for 4 hours trying and trying and trying to get it done, I broke. I just couldn't hold it in anymore. I busted in tears and just sobbed like a baby as she stared at me, which felt like for a eternity. Which made me feel like a failure. She loves school so much even tho it is her biggest struggle. No matter how many 20's or 40's or incomplete papers she brings home, she comes running in to show mama what she did. I apologized to her quickly and told her mama needed a little break and I would be right back. I know I am not the only one who has broke and I'm only human. This journey with her has been by far the hardest thing I have ever done in my life, and we wake up every morning to do it all over again. I wish I could help her more than I do but it has been a struggle just to smile some days. She is my rock tho kn those days she knows on those days she will hold me tighter with every hug and give a few more I love yous. She gives me the strength to keep fighting and be in her corner every step of the way. Any words of wisdom would be appreciated. ADHD has taught me I'd you ever think you have it figured out, nope your wrong.

[Onthemove1971]

Cwood1222- We are right there with you. I at times have cried in front of our child and he quickly realizes that he needs to change.

Does your child have an IEP or 504 plan? I have seen a number of times a limit to the hours spent on homework. I was at an IEP 2 weeks ago and we wrote in homework should not take longer than 1 hour. Homework is something that should have already be taught, so they should never do something new.

AND... it should be short just for practice. Please please don't torture you or her over this, it sounds like way to much especially at that young of age. Maybe in high school you can re-visit it.

But for now set the timer and stop when time is up ( of course she needs to work the entire time, no slacking.

Hope this helps. Big hug!

[cwood1222 in reply to Onthemove1971]

She does have a IEP. We recently moved to a new district so at the beginning of this year we had to reevaluate her IEP because her new school didn't understand her current one even after I explained as well as her old school. I ended up walking out of the meeting and told them I would reschedule another day because I was in tears. Everything I suggested the district Sped. Director said " If asked how would I explain to someone that she actually needed this accommodation? I need data and test results to prove anything." I do not know the in and outside of the IEP thing either, I'm currently working on that part.

She is in 1st grade and is currently still working on site words from Kindergarten, but since everyone in her class is still learning and hasn't started reading fluently. They said well she is just like everyone else, so she doesn't need pull out for that. To me it sounded almost like if she is doing just like everyone else ok then it is ok for her to be behind, which doesnt make any sense. She has a diagnosis which means yes she might be like other kids but she is not the same.

Do you have any advice on somewhere I can research about IEP's and learn more about it and what's actually allowed?

[Onthemove1971 in reply to cwood1222]

I am so sorry, no one should ever leave an IEP in tears. Do you have anyone at the school yet that you are close to?

If anyone asks about data, they would be the ones to collect it. But the bottom line is the IEP is suppose to be a team experience and pleasant.

The assessments they do "drive" their goals. So I am not sure what goals you have now, but they should be measurable.

I have not looked for online resources in sometime. I can certainly find something for you.

Her accommodation for homework is different. The request around homework should be considered based on her learning or behavior.

As far as where she stands and if she is not meeting the standards, then the team should find out why and support those "weak" areas with goals. Comparing her to other is not fair and should not be done. We are to used to on her and meeting standards.

Good for you for walking out if you are not feeling supported.

Let me know if I can answer simple questions, every state is a little different, but I sit in and participate in over 30 every year. I always sit next to the parents to help them feel comfortable, not across the table. If I feel they need it I will call or meet them before the IEP.

If it get really uncomfortable advocates can always go with you to support you.

The districts don't like this but this is about getting your daughter what she needs.

Hope this helps

[Onthemove1971 in reply to cwood1222]

Here is a website that really breaks down each section of the IEP.

noodle.com/articles/the-iep...

Hope this helps, we are all here for you and other have experience this process so let us know how we can help. Well just want the best for you and your daughter.

[Janice_H]

Your daughter should not spend more than 20 minutes on a homework assignment. It sounds as though she would benefit from additional educational services. If she is enrolled at a private school services are limited. At a charter or public school she can obtain an IEP which will further support her. The teachers are to modify homework assignments so they are less challenging. Don't press her to complete more than her attention span can manage. Move onto something fun and reward her for completing the work.

[cwood1222 in reply to Janice_H]

We have a IEP and I have contacted her teacher and set up a meeting. Thank you so much

[Cjkchamp]

The school should have given you paperwork on your rights with regard to an IEP. You can always check the education website for your state. If they need to do more testing to get the appropriate plan for her, then they need to test her. Don’t rule out a psychoeducational through your insurance. Do a search for adhd help in your state and see if anything pops up. I got assistance in AZ when I did it. Good luck!