My son is 12 and ADHD. I also have a 17 year old boy. They were given a PS4 for Christmas because my 12 year old didn't have many friends and we thought it would help his self esteem. We always said no to the gaming devices before for our older son. Well, yes, our 12 year old has made friends on the game and we can hear him yelling and getting all excited about the game, actually too much since he gets bossy and can get really upset. But he lies about his time on it, searches the house when it gets taken away, doesn't want to do anything else and would be on it for 18 hours if he could. It drives us, and me especially absolutely crazy and I want to drive over all the controls and headsets with my van! Even my older son who is not ADHD avoids doing his chores if he can "relax" and play the stupid game. This whole gaming thing is going to ruin this generation of boys. Do any of you have this problem? I hate to sever the ties he has made wwith kids he will soon be going to school with since he is changing schools but my blood pressure goes up and it is the source of almost all arguments when he is told to get off it and he says "just a minute" for 45 minutes. My parents would have kicked my butt.
Fortnight gaming addiction - CHADD's ADHD Pare...
Fortnight gaming addiction
I have an 8yr old son and his obsession is playing roblox on his iPod. I have literally wanted to throw the iPod away at times. He also says things like “ok one more minute” and doesn’t get that when I say now, I mean NOW. I made him a chore sheet for the summer and he has to do everything on it before using electronics. It’s helping so far. I also use taking it away it as punishment when he does something ridiculous but I hate that I’m always punishing instead of rewarding good behavior. His therapist says video games are attractive to kids with adhd because they’re loud and fast and stimulating. Sigh. Hang in there Mom.
I have a son who has ADHD and odd age 9. In the beginning when he first started playing he would play for hours didn't want to go outside. I even have a problem when it's time to go places. I have noticed now that he doesn't play on the game as much. It seems like for my son he's interested in something for a short time and then when it gets old doesn't pay attention to it as much. I have to admit we play together at times maybe I feel like as though we are bonding together and yes it can be additive to play. I also enforce like the previous comment made doing things before he gets on the game chores bathing homework . It's a daily struggle with a lot of things this is truly hard raising a child who has these problems. It takes a lot of praying and having patience. I will also say that it has gotten better we have good and bad days. Just know that you are not alone. Hope it gets easier for you.
My son is 12 and we are having the same issues. He has always been a big gamer, but over the last year it has gotten worse. He has lost interest in all "real world" things. We do not allow him to play on weekdays because it was so much trouble getting him to do homework. But weekends we have issues getting him off as well. His gaming has gotten so bad that we have started to seek a therapist help, because it is becoming such an obsession, among other things. I am not a parent who is anti-video games. However, when I see it is the only thing he cares about, that is when I have become concerned. So just know you are not alone. Hang in there.
Katejames-
When we are dealing with these things they are so frustrating.
This is just another "outlet" for your.son to try to control. If I were in your shoes I would treat it just like screen time. When my son gets up in the Am he is required to do all of his regular responsibilities first. Then we go about our day, if there is time for the screen he gets it. If he doesn't stop when time is up, he doesn't get it the next day. For the "Just a minute" it is taken from tomorrow..., of course I always tell him 10 min... 5 min. 3min..
Please remember this is part of his ADHD and I strongly feel we as parent need to role model what is appropriate behavior because in the further they will need to be having a job or college and they can not sit at home and play games all day. At least that is our goal. so we set limits that are reasonable, this includes time outside for playing basketball or whatever.
I would encourage a summer camp so he is not at home all day. If we give them access they will take it...
Best of luck!
In our house we have time limits for video games through the use of a token system. Each kid has five tokens that are worth 20 minutes each and tokens can’t be used until homework and chores are done. Tokens can also be forfeited if you are disrespectful to mom, name call, and damage property. Playing video games isn’t a right it’s a privilege.
I also prescreen the purchase or download of video games and veto any games that I believe might be a problem.
Good luck!
OMG that sounds identical to my house except my 13yr old son is the one obsessed and my 11yr old is the one with ADHD, and no friends.
We had the same issue with our 10 year old. He could be on any of his devices for hours on end. My husband and I finally had to put our foot down. One day my son was acting like a jerk after we told him to shut it down, well...we unplugged allllllllll of it and took away all his devices. That hit him hard, lots of screaming, crying full meltdown. But, we stood our ground. We told him the next time he doesn’t get off when we ask, he will lose it all. Now, when we ask him to shut it down we get “ok, give me 2 minutes” we will set a timer for two minutes and put it next to him, so far when it goes off he shuts everything down 👍🏻 We also have implemented he needs to have chores done, teeth brushed and dressed for the day. He is only allowed to play an hour in the morning and an hour at night. Not going to lie, we do still have rough days about it but he gets it now.
Hang in there, it’s hard raising kids. If you feel like rolling over the console with your van, just go and unplug all of it for the day.
OMG!!! Same... We need to force him to go outside now and we are doing our best to limit his time on the game..SOoooo addictive..I can't believe it
I don’t think this is restricted to kids with ADHD 😆. My son is 5, so the only game he’s allowed to play is Minecraft. We have made it clear that he has to get off it when we say it’s time or else it gets taken away for the next day. You could lock the controllers up when you don’t want him to play it. There are also machines that limit screen time (here’s one from Amazon):
I totally get the frustration! This obsession drives my wife crazy too! I think video games & moms may be natural born enemies! That said, I will now offer the unpopular guy's perspective. I think there's a biological reason behind most of what we're observing. Not just with little boys obsession with gaming but even more so with the ADHD brain. They crave immediate gratification more than most kids and so these games are like heroin! There's constant micro rewards throughout the game that I believe trigger chemical reactions in the brain that fills a serious physical need. Now, when you take it away, it feels like the end of the world for them! We don't understand that because, to us, it's just a stupid game to pass the time. Not so for them! Watch him play the game. You'll see what I mean about micro rewards. It's crack for ADHD kids. Further, it's a highly competitive team sport which fills a need for little boys. I know what you're thinking, but watch him play. It's the Hunger Games on steroids and it's all live action. The yelling you hear is when he loses! Like gambling, they NEED to go back in and try again because they were so close to winning. Because it's live action, you cannot pause or save progress. His teammates (real kids from all around the world) are relying on him to help them beat the other teams. Turning the game off mid round is like pulling him out of a soccer game while on the field and right as he's about to score. This explains the violent reaction when we do that. It's not like that for non-live games. So, my advice. Try to understand that it could be literally filling a physical need, so be gentle. Make a deal with your son. We limit all gaming to no more than 1 hour per weekday and 2 on weekends, and never past 8pm. When he hits the limit we give a warning: 'This is your last round per our gaming rules' which means you're allowing him to finish his round. Once he 'dies', that's it. He must stop. That's very fair. If he starts a new round, we cut off the Internet. Totally fair consequence. If he gets sassy or aggressive after that, it's gone for 3 days! Hope this helps.
You truly do get it. Denying him to finish a round is not good according to his psychiatrist BUT I always wonder if it really does take 45 minutes to finish the round! I hate it soooo much. Its also very alarming to me that it is like crack to him. I think it makes him obsessed and that makes me really upset. Its the main bone of contention in our household and I'd like to poke the eyes out of the Fortnight creator. ..actually all the gaming creators lol. He does tell me his friends and unknown to me people on his team are counting on him but I don't like his words or tone when he yells at them when something goes wrong. I just hate the whole ordeal. I feel like we've opened pandoras box and now he will be socially out of the loop if I sell it. We limit him to 2 hours of tech a day...gaming, ipad, computer is all included. He lies and searches the house if it is taken away. It makes us not trust him and its really broken down the relationship. We give warnings but I don't look over his shoulder....because I literally can't stand the dumb game. We've taken it away for him being sassy also. All your advice we have done. And we're good parents but this brings out the worst in everyone. I just don't see it easing up and that really worries me.
Lol! You & my wife are kindred spirits. Last time he had a minor tantrum about ending the game she said, let's take it away for a month. Ha! She's just itching for an excuse. I said, don't you think that's a little harsh? She just wants it gone. She hates the game because it promotes violence, which we have too much of in real life. She makes a good point. My retort is always, I played with guns as a kid & look how I turned out. She says I'm making her point...Honestly if it's taking over his life then maybe a long break is healthy. My issue is that I use it as a very effective carrot or stick to get him to do things. Without it, unfortunately, there's very little self motivation from my kid. If I completely take it away, I'm out of cards. She also hates the kitty casinos like Dave & Busters. Again, it's like drugs for ADHD kids. It scratches their itch! I bet you hate those places too!
Ahh...Dave and Busters, Power Play...I won't set foot in them so yes, you read me right. I agree it is a carrot. It just seems to be a carrot I can't manage because he's gotten sneaky. I'm old fashioned. I tell him to go outside and play with the cat or dog or find cool rocks. I can't stand commercialized entertainment. No wonder our trip to Disney was absolute torture for me! I better never meet your wife - we'd talk for days. And as far as drugs - that's my big worry for the next years. This addictive side of him scares the #@$ out of me and I'd like him to spend more time doing productive, quiet, non-violent things. And get as much enjoyment out of them!
Rules and time limits seem to help with my 9 yr old. He is not allowed to play games before school and is limited to 1 hr on school days and 2 hrs on non-school days. After dinner he has to do his chores before playing anymore. I am planning on putting together a system that will allow him to earn more playing time by doing extra chores or reading, etc but haven't gotten that far yet. I'm sure I'll need that for the summer. Good luck and hang in there!
Sorry my 13 year old grandson is doing the same thing. As long as he gets his chores done it's dinner with the family Etc we just let him play. He too yells at his friends and gets very excited.
His mother is addicted, too.
There are studies that video games help with depression and eye hand coordination. But they need too be part of the household, too.
Same story here w Fortnight and 13 yo son w ADHD. It’s a major source of conflict in our house. I put limits, take it away, struggle w how much is too much and am saddened by how obsessed he is. Maybe they play together sometimes. Lol
We haven’t hit video game addiction with tha kids yet. I’m probably the one closest to that description, as I do love playing World of Warcraft with online friends! So I do understand having those people counting on you. So, I’ve had to set limits for myself of when I can play: Not while kids are awake, and only 2 presceduled nights a week, so my friends can know when to expect me.
But my son would watch TV all day if we let him.
I suppose when we get there, we’ll probably follow the same rules we currently have for tv / screen time: “Work (homework / chores / practice) before fun” is a house rule. Only 1 hour a day max (except Saturday), to be paid with earned tokens, only after work is done (usually while I fix dinner). He can potential earn a bonus 1/2 hr to use once during the week. But we let them tv binge on Saturday mornings until lunch. After that, no more media for the rest of the weekend, unless it’s a family event like a movie night or something.
My 12 year old son was the same. We couldn’t go anywhere without him begging to go home to play. We found that with the headset we couldn’t hear what his friends were saying but we could hear him. I didn’t like that. He also yells and screams at his friends as they all do and we found that he felt that was ok to do while communicating with us at home. We finally told him it had to go. He flipped out but it’s been weeks and he found other games that aren’t as addictive. He’s never asked for it back. I noticed a big positive change in our home from him not playing it. We battle so many things... that was not helping ... good luck!
I think this is a generation that is obsessed with technology! We use an app called ScreenGuide. Gives the kids an allotted time for the day, and locks it down automatically. We love it, since the deal was, if you want technology this is our common ground. When it goes off, my son always groans..... but rarely asks for more time. I remind him he played a part in the deal to begin with. I did my part, he has to do his. Good luck! I know it’s hard to put it down myself!
Hi,
I just discovered that PS4 has its own phone app that allows you to set time limit on each day. It also gives child a reminder about time left. My son pushed few times so I was able to change “reminder” to “ turn PS4 off” . Works great! It also shows you h played so far
Wow lots of replies - common ground! Mine is 7 and we have moderately good luck with the Time Timer for a preagreed time. And a sister who watches with him and reminds him when it’s time up (because she wants her turn!). For us it is iPad kids games, we don’t have a PS (and may wait as long as possible after reading here!).
The thing I wanted to add and ask here about is my son loves stimulating, rhythmic, ‘peppy’ music. Think electronica. It seems like for him it is the same kind of stimulation that gaming can be, but we’ve gotten him to listen while jumping on his little trampoline so it’s physical and not screen time. We seriously noticed he loved this kind of music when he was just an infant and it has held true. Does anyone else find the same? Wonder if it might help as an alternative when it is not ‘game’ time?
Hello everyone, I also agree that children currently spend too much time in video games, but if they don't want to do anything else in their free time you can recommend them useful games. On ethershock.net/ are a lot of information about different games, and for example, I would recommend something like minecraft, because in this game there is no violence. Besides this, Minecraft is a game in which they can develop their creativity and imagination, building different things. I think in that case it's a good idea.
Ahahahah, that's a little more. I once played for almost a month without stopping. This is probably a record. In general, I really like video games, especially cs go. My friends and I often play this game online. And they recently gave me a cool new website where you can buy skins at very low prices. I bought aquamarine revenge dmarket.com/csgo-skins/prod... for myself and went through a very difficult mission that I could not complete for several days.
Not what you're looking for?
You may also like...
Managing Device (computer/phone) Time with a ADHD Child
Mother to 15YO Freshman boy
Limiting (eliminating?) YouTube gaming videos etc.
Does anyone else's ADHD kid refuse to do any non-screen activities? How to break the cycle of addiction?
Teenager electronic addiction.
Adhd and oppositional behavior 
Angry mom that doesn't get it. 
Questions about schools
I think is not the right school help!
Free from angry outbursts 
