My son was recently diagnosed with ADHD. While I understand what this means, what I don't understand is what the triggers are, how to appropriately respond regarding discipline, why some days are good and some days are so terrible, etc. I have gone about parenting him how I only know - we have rules, we stick to them, if they aren't followed there are consequences. We have a structured, organized home and life. Very predictable - schedules, routines, etc. But it seems my parenting approach is not helping the situation. He gives me very few opportunities to feel happy and proud of him. My son knows what we expect, knows there are consequences, but still makes bad decisions at home and in school (lack of impulse control?) and then he absolutely explodes when there are consequences. It turns very ugly..and I eventually lose my patience and the loving, understanding approach is out the window. I am defeated, saddened, and feel helpless. Why does it seem to go up and down? Like some days he has no control, and others he has complete control? My greatest worry is his behavior in school - disrespectful, argumentative with friends, won't stay seated, etc. I feel I am to blame for much of this for the times I have exploded on him. I am at a complete loss. Any insight on how I can effectively respond to our challenges? Something is not working.
You sound really sad about your little boy, please try to remember that he is not behaving this way to hurt you, he cannot help it, he has a brain that is wired differently. He did not choose this any more than you did, his life would be much easier without the adhd too.
Try to focus on the things he does well, even the little things, praise the things he gets right. This might help him to feel better about himself. See if you can find a post on here about a poem written by the mother of a child with adhd. I cannot remember the name of the poem but someone will post in with it i am sure. Possiby called The train
Wishing you all the best for the future, also i hope your son brings you as much joy as mine has. The joirney is just different with a child with adhd, it can still be incredible though.
Hello...I know it’s 9 months after the fact, but I wanted to thank you for replying to my post so long ago. Your insight is valuable and has helped me. I’ve learned a lot since then, but going back and reading everyone’s feedback helps tremendously. So thanks again!
How lovely to hear from you , even better to hear that you sound in a much better place. I wish you and your child all the very best that life has to offer. Just when things are difficult remember that your child did not choose this either.
All the best ❤️