ADHD Parents Together
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I gave up

Hi I am new to this site. Happy I found it. My 16 yr old son been having problems with ads for about 7 yrs. We just found out he had it 4 yrs ago. I was confused on the signs. I just thought he was being hard headed at school. I have 2 other children that has adhd and they are 7&11. I medicated them and they are fine. But my 16 yr old, I was uneducated and waited until he was able to decline to take the meds and no school officials doctor or law enforcement family mentor encourage him to take his meds. He is so out of control. And he is going no were fast. I don't like being around him I don't talk to him. He is totally disrespectful I can't never finish a sentence or give him advice. I came to the point were I don't care about his were abouts. I tried to put him in job core and he told the lady he wants to go after the summer. And she said ok. But I didn't find out until 2 weeks later. He haven't been to school the whole year because of his behavior. I have did numerous things community out reach rewarding good behavior, pressing the starting over button and nothing is getting threw to this boy. I want to try to help him.

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Talk to his regular doctor about resources to deal with these behaviors, which are not ADHD but can occur when bad habits develop or other mental health conditions occur with the ADHD (for instance, could he be depressed?).

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Yes he could be depressed. After I posted I this group o felt a whole lot better knowing I am not by myself and I looking into support groups for us in the area. Thank you for responding!

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At this point, your son is at a high risk of being arrested, and getting into the juvenile system, which is not great. There is not much you can do with defiant teens, but here are a few ideas: can you find him another place to live? Friend, grandparent? Do not allow him to drive or get him a car! Lock up all your liquor, medications, money, credit cards. I recommend a lock for your bedroom door plus a lock box inside your room for small items. (Of course, it goes without saying that you should not have any type of weapons in your house anyway!) You cannot change his behavior and it's unlikely he will change his for you - it's been my painful experience that some of these boys just have to grow up and it takes a few years. Can you afford to send him to residential treatment? He would probably spend 1-2 years out of your house, at least until he is 18.

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In Wisconsin if teens as young as 14 say they refuse any type of treatment, they don't give admit them or give them meds. But you are 1000% right keeping everyone SAFE! It's sad these kids have this much power.

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Let me tell you about residential treatment: there is no option to refuse. You hire a transport team, who come and take your son to the treatment center. We sent our son when he was not quite 17 and he stayed for 18 months. I can't tell you how relieved I was that he was safe and was forced to complete high school.

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Can you give me more information on the name of treatment center and contact information for who you hired

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We chose Liahona Academy in Utah. They hook you up with the transport guys, who were very nice. 1-800-675-8101

If you would like to know more about our experiences, you can email me directly: ellersc@slu.edu

I would be happy to give you more details.

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