Greetings

[LL_Mom]

Hi Parents,

I just joined the forum today. I have a 12 year old daughter recently diagnosed with ADD. She was diagnosed late because things did not become completely unmanageable for her until she hit middle school and was responsible for juggling a complex daily schedule.

She saw an OT for sensory processing issues when she was younger, and that helped her adjust to wearing clothing more comfortably. However, she's reverting and getting dressed each day has become extremely challenging for her again.

Here is what we're doing to try to help.

She's leaving public school at the end of Q2 in a few weeks and will do online/homeschool for the rest of the year. This is because classes begin at 7:30 am and saying that she's not a morning person is an huge understatement. She simply cannot function at that time in the morning. Maybe she can to back to public school in 9th grade when she's matured a bit more.

She's experiencing anxiety just walking through the halls. She complains that too many people bumping into her is stressing her out. This is coming from our sensory processing kid who is extremely sensitive to touch and sounds.

She started cutting her arms and ankles over the summer. She stopped when I discovered that she was doing this, and I IMMEDIATELY got her into counseling again.

I'm going to try to find a qualified OT in our area. We recently moved. I took her to an OT in our new town, and had ZERO confidence in what this inexperienced OT was saying to us.

Anyway. Things got better when my kid turned 11, but now, just before turning 13, they've gone way down hill. She cannot function in the mornings--even on 9 hours of sleep, and our family's quality of life is taking a huge hit.

I came here to find some support. I cannot find an ADHD support group in the town I live in (or the surrounding area). That seems odd to me. But I really do not know what I'm doing and nothing seem to be helping at the moment. I literally feel like each day is completely unpredictable--and it's burning me out. I can only imagine how my child must feel. This is just really sad...

She does not want to go on medication. Her couselor will set up a medical consulation to talk about ADHD medications with our family. My kid won't even take Motrin... and she's already told me I cannot force her to take meds for ADD. Oh, did I mention that she has highly oppositional behavior? I swear I don't know if what we're going through is my parenting or some actual medical problems that's she's experiencing. The counselor told me to set up a "rewards" system with my daughter---as if we have not been doing that since she was 2 years old!!! I just feel like no one knows how to help us.

Thanks for reading...

[sylah]

I'm sorry that you are going through a hard time... Hang in there! I think you are doing everything you can, and the best is let her know that you are there for her.

I used to cut myself and it was because the pain inside was too unbearable so it made me feel better to cut because I could see it physically as well as a distraction (my ADD went undiagnosed when I was a child, and it was misdiagnosed as depression along with my eating disorder. I got diagnosed after we found out our son has ADHD).

So right now it's important to be her anchor and cheerleader. We are here with you!

[sylah in reply to sylah]

PM me if you need to chat more

[LL_Mom in reply to sylah]

Thank you so much for sharing. I truly appreciate your willingness to connect. I would love to contact you after the holidays and ask some questions about what helped you. I know that everyone is different, but I would like to understand more about how I can help my child so that she does not feel the need to use self-harm as a coping mechanism. She is back in counseling, but I would like more insight into this specific issue. I am glad that you were able to overcome that challenge.

[sylah in reply to LL_Mom]

Yes, PM me whenever and we will connect after the holidays. Happy holidays!

[ladysoc]

Hi, I'm here, too, if you need a sounding board or someone to chat with! I am living with a 15 y/o son (10th grade) who has ADHD and recent depression.

In the town we live in, the middle school (6-8 grades) starts the earliest and those years were the hardest in terms of getting the child out the door on time to catch the bus. My daughter, who is six years older than my son, also had the hardest time in middle school; she would consistently miss the bus, which then caused a trickle-down effect that impacted the two other children.

My son has recently stopped taking his ADHD meds because he doesn't like the way they make him feel. He started taking generic Wellbutrin about ten days ago to deal with depression, although yesterday said he no longer wants to take that! Is your daughter open to seeing a therapist? If she's not, can you go to get support for her as well as yourself?

I know first-hand how difficult it is to parent kids with challenging behavior and often experience periods of time where I cry throughout the day over the hopeless situation my family is in and I have criticized and blamed my parenting style for the behavior of my child. Please find some time to find joy and support for yourself every day!

[Coral77]

For the time you have left in school, talk to the counselor and ask that your daughter change classroom 5 minutes before the bell rings, to avoid the stress that this causes her, if she has a 504 this is a school obligation . If your girl has oppositional behavior it is recommended that she be evaluated and assisted by an ABA Behavior Analyst. I know that it is difficult to think of rewards for a teenager, I reward them with their favorite food at the end of the week or by inviting their friends to a dinner at home, have a camping or a movie night. Since my daughter's ABA came to my house everything has been much easier and I have been able to organize myself in an effective way to help my children

[Elijah1]

Sound like anxiety is contributing to her problems. It would be useful to determine how much so you can then decide what interventions are needed (treatment for anxiety is different than for ADHD).

[LL_Mom in reply to Elijah1]

Thank you... The pediatrician evaluated my girl for ADHD, anxiety, and depression. According to the results of the evaluations, she was diagnosed with ADD and social anxiety. My daughter recently began working with a behavioral therapist, and I will ask if the treatment plan is designed to address the ADD and anxiety component.