ADHD parent who needs support

[Esnedegar]

Hello all, I am new to this post, or any post for that matter. I am the proud mother of a 9 year old boy with ADHD. He is bright, loving, funny and extremely caring. I am lucky to have him. I am exploring options with supplements and the school he is at has been supportive. I am here because I need a place to go where people understand what I am going through and the struggles that we have and the feeling of being so lost and helpless. It is time for me to take action and ask for help.

[LuckyMonkey]

You've found the right place. For me, I started sharing some of our struggles about 3 weeks ago after a particularly difficult day, and just typing out what had happened and reading posts from other parents that understood these terrible outbursts or meltdowns weren't happening because we didn't discipline our child, or because we were bad parents, or any of the 10,000 things that those without an ADHD kid think was tremendously helpful. I hope you find the same relief in this group. It doesn't change the challenges that we face, but it does give you community and a sounding board and let's you know that you're not alone, you're not failing and your kid isn't broken, they just need different things. One psychologist told me, "It's like with your other child (not ADHD) you were a carpenter. The tools you used to build the house were a hammer and nails, and they built a fine house. Then you went to create a bathroom (kid with ADHD) and the tools that worked for your last job-the hammer & nails-caused the pipes to burst and water to flood everywhere. Nothing wrong with the plumbing, you just need to find the right tools for the job. These tools can be everything from nutrition, exercise, sleep to therapy, de-escalation tactics, medication, etc. and this group is a nice place to find some solace and ideas.

We're trying several supplements currently, including Vayarin, probiotics, fish oil and limiting refined sugar, simple carbohydrates and artificial colors. Just today we pulled our 7 yr old off of Adderall because we felt it was increasing his volatility, anger and aggression. We'll see how it goes. Good luck mama, you're among friends who can share your experience and fully understand the challenges you deal with.

[danahoward in reply to LuckyMonkey]

Where did you purchase this probiotic?

[LuckyMonkey in reply to danahoward]

There are several good ones on the market, Whole Foods has a children's probiotic that is all natural, no sugar or funky colors. Garden of Life makes it.

[vowens in reply to LuckyMonkey]

Very well said! I liked what your psychologist said and so true!! We have a 26 yr. old girl who does not have it and life is much different with our son who is 11. It's definitley made us more patient , some days,lol . I would agree, having resources and tools on here will help!!

[Esnedegar in reply to LuckyMonkey]

I enjoy the encouragement I feel and have received here already. It warms my heart and brings tears to my eyes to think that a group of strangers, parents, people who are having similar struggles, can find peace, hope, and a shoulder to cry on here! I am in awe.

[Suedub in reply to LuckyMonkey]

Just was wondering are most of the parents in the States as I noticed the different names of medication plus there's always an influx of post during the night. I'm in the uk

[Pennywink in reply to Suedub]

I am in the States. 😊

[Nene69 in reply to LuckyMonkey]

I have a 7 year old as well and he has been on the Adderall for about the last few years. It seems if the behavior is getting worst more defiant. We have tried so many different medications that I feel like I should have followed my first mind. No meds. We have been to five different schools since preschool; public, private and charter. Therapeutic counseling and many school board meetings to no avail. I am a single mom and for the past year also caring for my mother who has Alzheimer's. Exhausted mom but just dont know how to give up. Sorry to vent but don't know what else to do so glad I came across this site. Any advice I'll try.

[Renee1988 in reply to Nene69]

My god--how do you keep it all together? You sound like a fantastic mother and daughter. I hope you have some kind of emotional support. None of us can shoulder that much alone.

If he seems worse on adderall, I'd see if it's possible to make a change. It's really hard because making medical changes while in school is a nightmare.

I had my child's dna tested and while we still had to do a lot of trial and error, it great narrowed the playing field by telling us how he metabolizes different drugs. He turned out to have a really unusual metabolism.

[Esnedegar]

Thanks LuckyMonkey! I have never heard of Vayarin before, what does that help with? I enjoyed the carpenter / plumminh analogy as well. Lol

[LuckyMonkey]

Vayarin is a prescription medical food, and is intended for the dietary management of ADHD. It is used in managing ADHD and addressing lipid imbalances, however it takes appx. 90 days to show any positive effects, but there are no side effects-so that's a positive. We're at about 45 days in so far, and are keeping our fingers crossed. vayarin.com/

[anne_flemings]

Taking meds for disorders should never be stigmatised.

A guy at my office used to call me crazy after he came to know I had to take anxiety pills. Ignoring such negative people works most of the times. I'm glad you addressed the situation to your daughter. Here's a piece of advice- just don't drag her into any personal conflicts between your husband and you, because it may affect her in the long run.

What they say is true- it runs in the family. My 3-year-old kid has been diagnosed with ADHD and anxiety might follow her in the later years but she's a happy one and that's all I care about now. I've resorted to the use of Montessori materials from thinkamajigs.com and cut down meds considerably. I'm getting her to focus on learning and interacting with the language, reading and math training stuff. and cut down meds considerably.

[Cherryo]

Hello all. I’m also exploring supplements but not consistent enough except for magnesium and vit D. Helps my 7 yr old sleep better. A book called Healing ADD by someone Amen had a list of supplements/meds/dietary suggestions for each type of ADD. I’m exploring this book now. I hope this is helpful. Take care everyone.

[ScatteredMommy]

We have used Omega3 supplements (we got the gummies for kids) and they helped a little. We did an elimination diet of all the regular culprits and slowly reintroduced items. The only one we noticed made a real difference was Red 40 so that is the only thing we avoid now. He's like the Tasmanian Devil on Red Dye. We can even see the behavior and know to go look at the ingredients on what we thought was a safe food and find the Red 40 (btw Twinkies have Red Dye). I knew another kid that had similar results with a specific yellow dye but I can't remember which one. The real differences for us were ADHD education classes and behavior therapy -- both through our HMO -- and medication. Someone in this thread mentioned aggression with Adderall. We haven't seen that, but the first med we tried made my son extremely sad. So it might be a need to try different medications.