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[SarahMorganB]

Hello... I'm a single parent and I have a 13 year old son with ADHD. How do you cope with the forgetfulness? My son struggles in school and currently has 15 missing assignments and his reasoning 99% of the time is "I forgot to bring it home" or "I forgot about it all together" or "I don't know". He is on medication and trust me we tried just about everything before finding the right fit. And the forgetfulness spans well beyond schoolwork. In the realm of discipline I have also tried a wide range over the years... positive reinforcement, detailed consequences, and even corporal punishments. Nothing seems have any effect because the negative behavior continues. I then feel guilty because I don't know how much of his troubles are because of his choices or because of his ADHD... I'm terrified thinking of helping him become a successful adult when I feel like we are both drowning just trying to make it through 7th grade. I'm exhausted and it's really weighing on our relationship.

[Klogans]

Omg..I'm in bed now feeling the exact same way Sarah.. So instead of crying and feeling hopeless I came on this page to get another round of ideas. As new ideas and being positive is the only thing keeping me from losing my mind. My 12 year old is also in 7th grade and struggling academically currently receiving an f and 2ds simply from missing assignments low test scores and being off task. I am also struggling with figuring out which of my son's behavior is contributed to his ADHD and which is contributed to just bad choices.. it's really hard when you see your child struggling with something and have no idea how to help. My son was on medication last year and sixth grade and troubled with the side effects is trouble sleeping loss of appetite and mostly headaches. So this year I thought he was mature enough to battle 7th grade but soon did I realize different. I have put them on punishment removed his TV time has Xbox time taking his cell phone laptop tablet removed him from football remove him from baseball and yet he still continues to misbehave stay off task Miss assignments and not turn in his assignments. I recently had a meeting with his teachers and counselors suggesting ideas such as weekly check-ins reminder notes and just keeping me more informed if his homework is not turned in. At times it's overwhelming especially being a single mom working 40 plus hours a week and then coming home having to again go to a second job which is checking over my son's homework and if I fail to remember just one day it could be a test or quiz and he's held responsible so Sarah trust me I totally I'm in the same boat I don't know if me reminding my son of homewwok assignments and test but it seems it helps him but drains me but don't give up stay strong . I say it's only going to get easier from here I keep on reminding myself if I give up on my son and who does he have.

[Kaysmom84 in reply to Klogans]

You are amazing! I'm a stay at home mom and can barely keep up, i cant imagine doing it alone and having a full time job too! Your son is lucky to have you as a mom!

[SarahMorganB in reply to Klogans]

Thank you so much! Some times it's just nice knowing that you're not the only one in this boat. I also work 40+ hours and I let him do a fall sport this year (golf) which practices or has a game 5 out of 7 nights a week. He loves sports but the last few years a took him out so he could focus on school but I didn't see a change either direction while out of sports. Needless to say I'm running on empty and last night was my breaking point. I have a conference with his teachers in 2weeks so I'm hoping to share ideas to turn this year around. Thanks again for all your encouraging words!

[Kaysmom84]

Ok i know this approach may seem young for the age of your son but it really does make a difference. What we have done for my 10 year old is two things! First as per the teachers request we have a different folder and binder for each subject! This was not working at all! So we got one huge binder divided into color coded sections each one coordinates with a color coded notebook! So he only has one binder to keep track of which contains every folder for every subject and every piece of paper to and from school he knows to bring it home every single day! We also at the beginning of the year requested a book from each teacher to keep at home(the school is awesome and had no problem with this.) the last thing is what seems kinda babyish i have made a laminated checklist for my son that has four items he must check off every day! 1. Did i write down my assignments? 2. Do i have all things nessecary for homework? 3. Do i have any questions for the teacher. 4.do i have any lose papers in my locker? Everyday he checks off these items with a dry erase marker he earns a pass. He may cash these in for bonus tv time or a favorite dinner, or a weekday video game pass(when homework is done) if he doesnt check off the items that day or forgets something(meaning he didnt actually do the items he checked) then he is making a choice not to do those things(this is not his adhd) so he recieves a consequence which is always no tv time that day and no using any passes. It may seem juvinile but we are down to about one missing assignment a month! He is 10 and in 5th grade btw!

Hope this helps!

[SarahMorganB in reply to Kaysmom84]

I love your ideas! So his school required him from the start to just have the one big binder set up like you suggested, his trouble is getting the papers into those folders, so I love that papers is on your check list. Corey also has a checklist but I think maybe it has too many things, your questions are perfect. Corey has a huge problem with lying about completing things that he obviously didn't though so the checklist hasn't been very successful so far. And this is where no punishment seems to make an impact on him. Sure he's upset in the moment when privileges are taken away but then the behavior is repeated day after day... This is what is hardest for me to cope with. He can tell me the exact behaviors that will result in punishment and how he doesn't want that and the same day he does it again. Oh and the set of school books at home... how did this never occur to me? What a great idea.

[Hidden]

I totally understand when you say terrified one of the things out of everything the doctor told me when my son was diagnosed is when she said that the children with ADHD on treated a high percentage of them end up having some kind of Drug addiction Cocaine etc. so I started my research about all the gluten free foods snacks etc. and then I started getting really overwhelmed and depressed but then I have to see it to myself this is not a mistakeBecause I serve a living God And all I do daily is still asking to help me I help my child and My coping Become so much easier because I know I am not in control even my son’s doctors I’m not in control only the one above

[Hidden]

I totally understand when you say terrified one of the things out of everything the doctor told me when my son was diagnosed is when she said that the children with ADHD on treated a high percentage of them end up having some kind of Drug addiction Cocaine etc. so I started my research about all the gluten free foods snacks etc. and then I started getting really overwhelmed and depressed but then I have to see it to myself this is not a mistakeBecause I serve a living God And all I do daily is still asking to help me I help my child and My coping Become so much easier because I know I am not in control even my son’s doctors I’m not in control only the one above

[MomOfAMermaid]

HUGS for you. We just recently purchased special watches from "Watch Minder", they are special watches designed by a doctor that specializes in ADD ADHD that you program that vibrates as a reminder when it is time to do certain things. It vibrates instead of making noise to avoid disturbing others (like at school). Maybe one of these would give him reminders throughout the day and help reduce the forgetfulness?