New ADHD mom

[M_Frazier]

Hi all. My son, who is now almost 12, was diagnosed with ADHD at age 5. We were first time parents, and took the advice of the pediatrician to trial meds. They did terrible things for our kiddo at that age, and since we have looked to behavior modification. It worked well for years, until now. Maybe it is hormones too, but over the past year shit has hit the fan. He just has no control or drive or focus. Meltdowns all the time, insecurities, starting new things to find release but never completing them. His agitation and frustration is heartbreaking. And many emails from teachers the last 3 months of 5th grade. So.....we started meds. Adderall. It has been working well and he is able to notice and describe the benefits. He has been on it for about 4 weeks. Well, we ran late today, he forgot to take it but felt he would make it throughout the day. MY BAD. Omg. He was in complete meltdown depression after school. Refused to get a haircut, boyscouts, everything was a disaster in his mind. Of course i didnt realize why right away and I was probably an asshole, but I didnt know! He took his pill since then, and has been totally back to baseline. I feel so bad. I ruined his day to save us a late excuse at school

[MomOfAMermaid]

You have been at this for a while. Put your stick down and be kinder to yourself. ADHD caused the difficult day, not your mistake. You were not an asshole. Your intent was to be a whole heart. I recently have become aware that my desire to be a perfect parent of a wonderful kid with ADHD actually teaches my daughter to beat herself up when she makes mistakes too. My wish for all of us parents is that we model self-love and self-forgiveness when mistakes happen. Writing this makes me realize how much my daughter deserves for me to teach her this lesson too . . . I wish you all the best!

[M_Frazier in reply to MomOfAMermaid]

I thank you very much for your encouragement and kindness, you are right in many ways!!