I AM SEVERELY DEPRESSED...BUT THIS IS THE ONLY THING THATS WRONG WITH MY LIFE. I have two beautiful children, a great career, supportive family members....my mom, sisters, best friend, and a couple of other great friends and relatives. My boss is awesome and my co-workers are great people to work with. My husband fell out of heaven. He is a truly amazing man....a knight in shing armor....the kind of gentleman we all want to take home to our parents to meet...the kind of man wth honor, integrity and respect we all dream of as little girls...the ones we hardly see anymore...and the ones we hope we end up marrying and living happily ever after with. He works for the government, but for security reasons I can't say exactly what he does....but its a high stress level job. He has some really long days and stressful weeks at times...but it never really seem to get to him.
He is however, my second husband and my first chance at true love. He is not perfect, has a slight case of OCD, and doesnt like changes in his routines. Nevertheless, he adores me and supports me in everyway. I have 3 college degrees, two BA's and an AA all with education and criminal justice majors. I love working with children and I adore my girls and my students. I am a teacher an international school and I'm a US Army Veteran. I served at the beginning of the IRAQI FREEDOM FIGHT, but never deployed...so no PTSD. I do miss the military and MY only REGRET is the fact that I was discharge due to my injury and depression. I loved my career and served with pride.
Im not saying my life is perfect....but considering all that I have to be thankful for....and I am...One would think I should be happy every single day...or most days....but Im not. I try my darnest...for myself....MY girls and my husband....but some days I feel as if Im breathing just because air is flowing thru my lungs and nostrils. Sure I have real world problems such as with my credit report, balancing my check book, keeping two teens in line...the girls are 15 and 12...but its not enough for my level of depression. I should not be this depressed and having these episodes of panic attacks and crying spells.... I just don't understand it...and Id do anything for it to go away. Also....My worse episodes comes at night right before bed. Poor guy, when I can't fall asleep and I get sad I keep him up. Sometimes I worry that he will just get sick and tired of me and call it quits....and walk away :"(.
I am tough, strong and persistent. I have depression in my genes...and it is hereditary....but I refuse to give up and let it get the best of me. I will fight until I can't fight any more. I have My entire family and GOD by my side. Is there anyone out there that can relate to me...in a similar situation???