after suffering from depression most of my life i have finally decided i cant carry on like this
after a string on unsuccessful relationships (been on my own for 10 years+ but who's counting)
not being able to hold a serious relationship down has been a problem due to past experiences and living a somewhat crazy lifestyle when i was younger.
i have always managed my illness by keeping myself busy working a full time job and looking after my children. they say children drive you mad but mine kept me sane . now they have all flown the nest and some days the loneliness is unbearable.
everything came to a head recently i lost 2 cousins in as many months to cancer i lost my job and then pushed away the boyfriend i had been dating for a couple of months but..... that's repetitive behaviour for me (i have behaved like this ever since splitting with my childrens dad in 1997 never letting no one get close to me again.)
I was more down than i had been in a very long time I'm on antidepressants now and they seem to be working. ( well I'm not a blubbering mess or pulling out my hair) however i still have no direction or aim in my life
i was seeing a councillor from 'think positive' and she has finally put me forward for cognitive behaviour therapy . im a little bit dubious to how this works. i feel terrified that my head will explode with all the luggage i carry around with me everyday.
is there any1 had CBT and did you gain from it