Where does the time go? i find it odd that time can go so fast when im really not doing much of anything!
It was 5 weeks ago yesterday that me and my ex split up. Not been upset for a while now. I still think about him all the time though and I do miss him loads. Ive not forgot all the horrible things hes done to me .
I deleted him off facbook and he messaged me going mad, saying ive proved to him im the person he thought i was and he was glad about this. I have no idea what that is suppose to mean or what person he thought i was but made me realise he doesnt know me and never did if he thought i could be horrible in any kind of way. Im not a horrible person. I left things at his flat the week before this and he was angry about that and didnt speak to me again until i deleted him off facebook to shout and be hateful. I didnt do these things out of hate or spite, i did them cos i thought it was for the best and couldnt cope. He could never see that from my point of view, its like he wants to hate me.
Not heard from him since, althought strangely he liked a picture of mine on instagram (which is an app on iphones where you post pictures). the picture was of me and my friends drinking champagne before a night out.
This has left my head buzzing with questions. is he liking that picture so i dont forget him and hes making sure of that? or hes being spiteful and liking it to say "i can see what your doing, having a good time are you? you should be upset? nice to know your happy and going out and drinking champagne". Or he maybe happy for me that i am having a good time and hes glad of this. and also maybe saying no hard feelings and hes calmed down from the other week.
i just dont know.
its his birthday soon and i was in 2 minds about whether to send him a card, but unless something happens in the meantime i am going to send him one. Im not spiteful like him and im not going to ignore him just because hes done that to me.
i dont think i can win either way, it wouldnt suprise me if he got annoyed if i did send a card and if i didnt send one. I can still picture what he would say to me. when we was together i used to have to second guess what he was going to say in responce to me saying somthing to him, then adjust accordingly so as not to anger or upset him. i still find myself doing this and arguing with him in my head about possible things that could happen in the future or even things that have happened in the past!!
anyway i only really wrote this just to say hello to everyone....no idea where all that came from above!! sorry about that, maybe i just needed to get it out of my head where its all be swimming around.
Id love to know how everyone is getting on. hope everyone is okay/getting by/happy
Love me xx