Whats the worst thing?

Whats the worst thing you have said or done to a loved one when you have been at your lowest point. And how do you get through the guilt of it?

I’ve said such awful things to my husband, and in his words ‘put him down and broken his confidence’. He says he’s ‘broken’ so he’s struggling to help me through the times I really need him. To hear that makes me feel worse. Why do we do this? How do we stop? How do you get over it?

Ive been through such a rubbish life, sooo much has happened to me I cant even begin to explain. And now I feel I cant escape this hole. Not on my own. Not without someone holding my hand every step of the way. I don’t know what to do anymore.

5 Replies

  • think we all say things we dont mean My ex ignored me for yrs said he couldnt cope with my depression, I felt very guilty hes now with someone else

    I found in some ways I was getting better, got myself a job talked to people, but being ignored took any bit of confidence away from me

    Even my son caught on and said horrible things to me

    Now hes great but he only stays over two nights a week and i miss him

  • They say that we always hurt the ones we love, I've done it and I'm sure there are plenty of others here that have too.

    Sometimes I wonder if I sabotage my relationships because I don't feel worthy of them. My husband has cried because of things that I've said to him and then I feel like shit. All I can do is cry myself and hold him and tell him how sorry I am and how important he is to me. I honestly don't know what I'd do without him but I still hurt him sometimes when I'm down.

    Don't know if this helps or not,



  • Mine was crazy. Or maybe not at all crazy. Depends from whose point of view you're looking at it really. After the birth of my daughter I had post natal depression. I used to sit her in front of the TV, then park up on the computer and chat to people on forums all day. I became totally engrossed in the lives of people I'd never met. I didn't realise at the time, but It was destroying me. I'd read what they were cooking for tea and hate myself for not being able to throw a meal together with random ingredients. I'd nose at pictures of their houses and look at my own and cry.

    Anyway, my partner could see what was happening and tried to help. Except I didn't see it as help, I saw it as him trying to bully me into cooking and doing housework. I acted totally irrationally. It all came to a head about six months after our daughter was born. He went away for a weekend to visit his elderly grandfather in North Wales. I became so resentful that he was happy, and i wasnt, that I decided to change the locks on the house. He returned to find he couldn't get in and he called the police.

    A whole load of chaos and crap followed and eight years on, we're friends of a sort but with no chance of recollection. It's absolute madness the hold on you that depression has.

  • Thanks for sharing these stories with me. I hate that depression does this. It doesn't just affect us, it affects those that don't even have depression! And then they become depressed.

    I feel so angry with my husband saying these comments when end of the day no one knows what I've gone through and the emphasis seems to be more on what I'm doing to people, ie shutting people out, etc than more on giving me support.

  • I can relate to this story in away. This is what my ex boyfriend did to me, he broke me down and everyone said I was like a broken person....however this is what made ME depressed. He wasnt depressed although think he had issues, he still blames me for everything I think though.

    It must be hard for your husband to hear these things and to also see you upset. Some people cannot cope with this. He needs to understand that its not the real you who is saying these things and you are not doing it to be horrible. You will have already said this to him and to him proberly wont sink in because its you saying it. So i was wondering if you would consider going to see someone together? like a counsellor or even your GP. So they can explain to him more about what your going through?

    Be greatful to him and I always try to see things from the other persons view point, if it was him saying these things to you, how would your feel/react? this helps me construct an appropriate responce.

    Take care,


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