I don't want a relationship - I just want to be friends

What do you do when a friend want to enter into a relationship with you?

So I've got a couple of freindship groups at school, because sometimes I have difficulty being with people. One of the groups I find really relaxing when I have a bad day, they're just really genuinely nice people to be around. I was very happy being friends with them all but one of them has asked me out. I've refused but now I'm stuck.

So I explain about the depression? If I do, do I go into detail about self-harm/anorexia? I feel like I owe an explanation...

And selfish as it sounds I wish he'd never asked me. How can I sit and be care-free again? Was my behaviour too unguarded? But I don't like being constantly on edge.

Not where do I have to go to chill out? I'll just end up cutting more. I already want to because I feel guilty about this person. I didn't mean for him to like me.

Has anyone else found they aren't interested in relationships at all? I'm 18 and everyone else seems obsessed with them, I haven't been remotely intersted for 4 years.

So what do I do?

4 Replies

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  • You could try telling him the truth.... that at this stage you would rather have him as a good friend rather than a boyfriend. Good friends are hard to come by and tell him you need those at this time in your life. All the best , good luck. Xx

  • Morning Betsy,

    Tell him the truth, that is the best way and the only way to go. Take this friend to one side explain how you feel and that you do not want to feel awkward when out with this group of friends. Tell him that at this point in your life you need friendship more than a one on one relationship. If he is a true friend he WILL understand.

    I wish you good luck with this. Big hugs to you xxxx

  • Hi

    It is a difficult situation especially when you do want to go on being part of the group and you don't want to hurt anyone, and I presume they are adolescents which is a difficult time of life to deal reasonably with things like rejection.

    I guess you either have to tell the truth, or if you don't feel up to doing that why not just say that you have had some personal problems and you feel you need space without getting involved emotionally, that friendship is just the level of involvement you would like at the moment. That's honest but enables you to keep privacy around the depression issue.

    Suexx

  • Thank you all.

    I had a chat with him and told him have depression and couldn't cope and his upportive if that says he is happy to stay my friend. I'm still just owrried about the group dynamics. I know several knew he lkiked he (a couple of the other guys aren't very subtle) so I'm worried my position was 'potential girlfriend' not a friend in my own right.

    On the other hand school will finish in a few months and (hopefully) I'll be off to uni - I can just run away from all this

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