Just wanted to say hi, haven't a clue what i am doing. just feel the need to do something before i go mad, i'm not living a normal life, well what is normal? i'm worthless and no real use to anybody, I so much want to be a happy person but the dark hole i seem to be in is getting harder and harder to get out of, i'm sure them that have been or still are in may understand what i am trying to say, sometimes i think i am off my head or going mad, I sit all alone just saying to myself over and over again for god sake pull yourself together, I have a truly wonderful husband and brill kids well adults, I also have a new baby. so many people think i have it all, But i don't.................... Don't get me wrong i love them all deepley. But i just feel so so empty inside, I have been on medication for many many years now but just don't think that anything has changed, i still don't go out, hate being around people always thinking that there talking about me, i know there not as im sure there talking about far more interesting things, oh I don't know confused about life, do I belong.where do i belong. would anybody truly miss me for me, or just miss having things done for them, who am I? a Mother, Wife and all the other things that go with this...................BUT WHO AM I, I get so tired of people saying things will get better, most of them that are telling me this are people that haven't a clue, I have no real friends as i have always been a loner i'm a person who avoids human interaction or prefers to be alone other than my family being around me, I know this is my fault but i just can't help the way i feel, wish i could change so so much, I don't just want to exist in this world......................I want so much to live it,
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