How to get help?

I have been suffering at my worst depression for around the last 6 months. I have been going to my doctors a lot but feel like I get no help. I was put on citalopram 40mg and it didn't help me at all. I was told that it takes time so kept taking it. When moving home I ran out and went to my new doctor to get a prescription and was told that I have too many underlying issues for anti depressants to help and that I need counselling. I have been registered for counselling with specialists on my past struggle being abused and raped as a child between 8 and 14 and I was told I would get help early January at the very latest and I'm still waiting. When I call I get told that I'm at the top of the list but its been this way for a while. I feel helpless because I feel as though I'm putting my boyfriend through hell. I know he tries to help me but I feel as though in getting so much worse. If it wasn't for my boyfriend I would be dead. He has stopped me from killing myself 5 times now since November and I have started to self harm. Someone I NEVER seen myself even attempting. I never understood why anyone would ever harm themselves but now I realise that when I'm feeling at my worst having a physical pain to concentrate on keeps the emotional pain at bay. Last time I went to the doctor I broke down and owned up to trying to kill myself and I went in with bandages over my arms and begged for help. I feel tearful everyday for no reason. I will be feeling quite happy then all of a sudden can't hold back the tears. I just don't see how I can get better without help. My dr just said it takes time and he won't give me anything to help and I'm struggling so much. I feel like a horrible horrible person and that I'm just hurting others. Please help with any suggestions :(

7 Replies

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  • Stark3rs, firstly let me express my sadness for hearing that things have got to this point for you. I am also dismayed at your local health service for fobbing off someone who clearly needs help right away. I wonder if your old practice could say or do anything to speed up the process - perhaps you or your boyfriend could contact them?

    Right now, which do you feel would be of more immediate assistance to you: a repeat prescription of the anti-depressants, or immediate access to the recommended counselling sessions?

    You must under no circumstance feel you are to blame for any of this. You are merely seeking the healthcare you need and deserve. It is the degraded and at times frankly shambolic state of our health system (and, ultimately, the current "Coalition" government) which is at fault here. You are not a horrible person. Just ask your boyfriend, your friends, your family: they will say the same.

    I hope my words have been of some assistance to you. In the meantime, please hang in there, and remember there is always someone at hand to help you.

  • I never thought about contacting my previous doctor. I will give that a try tomorrow. My boyfriend was wanting to come into the doctors with me next time as he's angry at the amount of times I have went and got no help. Do you think that would make any difference?

    I think it would really help to get access to the counselling as I know that tablets are more of a temporary solution and I really need help for the long term. Thank you ATallCyclists for your kind words. Hopefully I can get some help soon.

  • I never thought about contacting my previous doctor. I will give that a try tomorrow. My boyfriend was wanting to come into the doctors with me next time as he's angry at the amount of times I have went and got no help. Do you think that would make any difference?

    I think it would really help to get access to the counselling as I know that tablets are more of a temporary solution and I really need help for the long term. Thank you ATallCyclists for your kind words. Hopefully I can get some help soon.

  • I never thought about contacting my previous doctor. I will give that a try tomorrow. My boyfriend was wanting to come into the doctors with me next time as he's angry at the amount of times I have went and got no help. Do you think that would make any difference?

    I think it would really help to get access to the counselling as I know that tablets are more of a temporary solution and I really need help for the long term. Thank you ATallCyclists for your kind words. Hopefully I can get some help soon.

  • It could certainly be worth a shot. Your boyfriend going in with you could be helpful too, but it's important to remain calm and civil. I certainly understand why he's angry, but if things get heated it could only make matters worse. Please note I'm not presuming anything of your boyfriend's disposition here; merely talking from experience.

    I would agree with you on the counselling. The medication is a short-term answer that treats the symptoms, rather than the causes.

    I hope so too. Take care of yourself.

  • Not sure if you are working but most companies have a duty of care, so they should help.

    Also as a stop gap you can ring the Samaritans 24/7. I did for 5 consecutive nights. You can arrange for an appointment for the following day as well They really,really helped. Just somebody to listen to.

    You can ring the local MIND for counselling 1-1 or group.

    Hope this helps. Things can get better.

    Also sounds like the doctors are fobbing you off. Ask for them a deadline, definitely.

    Speak to someone in authority at the GP's

    Give them the facts, its not acceptable and you want something done now.

    Bring your boyfriend along to the appointment. The GP is more likely to do something then.

    The key is to be assertive, firm but not aggressive.

    Andy

  • Stark3rs; I wish you luck with getting some support. It's great that your BF sounds helpful as it can be very hard for loved ones to understand depression. Your GP should be more help and its shocking that he or she is not listening to your symptoms. Are you feeling better today? Keep reminding yourself that there are things beyond your control so don't feel guilty for those things! Try to identify the thoughts behind your feelings and talk through them with yourself (if that makes sense). I too have depression but do not have a terrible trauma in my past as you do. This must be gut wrenching for you, but you are still here! You can still have a normal life but you need a good doctor. I'm not a doctor but medication and counselling sounds like it could help. Good luck.

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