I went to my doctors distraught with despair because my wife had cheated on my 8 months earlier, and although i had tried my best to cope i was being swallowed by depression. i have had random dizziness or physical sensations of spinning since i was at school (18 years) and as a result of that i live most of my life near panic, i'm scared of people, scared of leaving my home, scared of my own thoughts. All of this was overcoming me after the separation from my partner of 11 years. My doctor referred me to Mind Matters in Wakefield, after about 4 months of waiting i finally get an assessment and now i have had 5 councilling sessions and although i was beginning to feel hopeful again i find out if i want more sessions i have to go back to my GP and will probably have to wait another 4 months for further help. what can i do? only recently have i stopped thinking about suicide daily due to the help from the councilor but now i feel i am on my own again and back to square one, i feel like someone was helping me climb out of a dark well and they've just taken their hand away. i am not an assertive person and i have enough difficulty just getting myself to go to the doctors let alone demanding anything of them, i always take the first thing they offer which is usually a presciption of a pill which has "may cause dizziness" listed as a side affect, which i promptly throw away. i asked for help from my GP and i feel he gave me the bare minimum and although talking to someone helped i only explored my problems i don't have any solutions or goals, there has been no significant change to the way i think. i'm so sick of living with my panic and dizziness and fear but sometimes it feels like the effort of getting better just isn't worth the trouble and i should just take the easy way out. please help me before i sink again, i don't feel i can take another 4+ months of being like i was, what do i have to do to get the help i need?
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