WHAT TO DO WITH MY LIFE

WELL WHERE DO I START I LEFT HOME 4 YEARS AGO NOW TO LIVE WITH A NEW PARTNER MOVING TOWN JUST TO BE WITH THEM, AND THATS WHERE IT ALL WHEN WRONG BEING A GAY MALE AND LIVING A LIE UNTIL 3 YEARS INTO THE RELATIONSHIP COMING OUT TO MY MUM BUT THAT WAS EASY, MY RELATIONSHIP IS FAR FROM EASY MY BF WAS MARRIED AND HAS 3 CHILDREN AND HE IS AN ACTIVE / RECOVERING ALCOHOLIC, ALTHOUGH I HAVE BEEN SUPPORTIVE IT HAS BEEN A STRAIN ON OUR RELATIONSHIP HELPING HIM GET THROUGH A DIVORSE, CHILD CARE AND DEATH OF HIS MUM I HAVE BEEN THERE THROUGH THICK AND THIN, GOOD AND THE BAD WHEN WE STARTED TO GOING OUT WE WHERE BOTH IN FULL TIME WORK BUT I LOST MY JOB AND WAS OUT OF WORK FOR ALMOST 2 AND A HALF YEARS NOT THROUGH WANT OF LOOKING I COULD JUST NOT FIND A JOB, HE WAS A CITY SLICKER WORKING ALL HOURS GOD SEND TO PTOVIDE NOT ONLY FOR US BUT TO THE EX AND THE KIDS BUT MY HOW THINGS HAVE CHANGED HE ENDED UP LEAVING HIS JOB MAINLY THROUGH DRINKING BUT ALSO ILL HEALTH, NOW I AM BACK IN FULL TIME EMPLOYMENT AND HE IS REGISTERED DISSABLED, WE ARE STRUGGLEING TO KEEP UP WITH THE BILL AND KEEPING HOLD OF THE PROPERTY AND ARE NOW LOOKING TO SELL UP AND MOVE INTO RENTED DUE TO REASONS UNKNOW THE EX IS KIDDING OFF AS SHE IS GETTING NO MONEY FROM THE BF AND POISENING THE KIDS AGAINST US BOTH DESPITE ALL THE HELP I HAVE GIVEN CHILD CARE, COUNCELLING FOR THE KIDS, HELPING THEM ALL MOVE HOUSE, I AM NOW STUCK AT A CROSS ROAD LOST AND REALLT DO NOT KNOW WHICH WAY TO TURN NEXT I LOVE HIM DEEPLY AND FOR NOW HE IS MANAGING TO STAY SOBER BUT I REALLY DO NOT KNOW IF ALL THE HASSLE IS WORTH IT.

2 Replies

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  • Hiya, not sure if I can help, but I do understand very well the emotional roller coaster of having an alcoholic close to you. The times they're sober every thing seems wonderful and you love them more and more. When they're drunk you hate them and while you want to scream and shout at them, you can't because you feel sorry for them. Alcoholism is a vicious illness and the person drinking is actually the person suffering the least. I feel your pain x

  • In my experience, breaking up from as relationship is hard and made so much harder by thinking about all the effort and energy you have put into that relationship and your partner's extended family. To contemplate leaving when you still love the other person is torturous BUT you have to look at where you may be in ten years time if you stay and compare it with where you could be if you go. This assessment of the future is the same method regardless to your sexual orientation.

    Your partner has lived a lie in the past - so could go down that road again

    Once an alcoholic - always an alcoholic, even after being dry for years

    An alcoholic is often skilled at covering things up, finding others to blame and hurting those closest to them

    Weigh things up, make a decision and stick to it. It may not be easy but I believe you will find support.

    Good luck ShakeyJLB

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