Feeling Empty

Hi all

Just felt I needed to come on & say how I feel.

I dunno why but today I have just felt so empty inside. Feel lonley, cant ring family as it will make things worse. Have been on an emotional roller coaster all day & paced about my flat like a caged animal. The stupid thing is I want to be on my own. I'm usually ok with my own company. I just cant settle.

I hope every one else is feelin better.

I wish like my best friend of 30 years I could fall asleep & not wake up due to natural causes. She had a major heart attack in her sleep with her husband next to her & he did'nt even reise. A nice way to go!

I'd never do anything even though I always think about it.

I am divorced with a 22 yr old son who lives at other side of town from me. My parents live up the street from me but they have other worries & feel I cant add to them.

Hugs to you all

Jackie xx

7 Replies

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  • Jackie, you are always in my thoughts, you and all your family. you have had, and are having a hard time and yes, for your friend it is a lovely way to go,you must miss her.

    I think you might be torn between wanting solace for you,, missing your son, and feeling you "should" be with your family. It's when we are on our own and not as busy that thoughts creep in.

    You are amazing and have supported your family despite your own problems. They have given you a short break, please try and relax and get some of your energy back.

    keep in touch, hug((x))

    sandra.

  • Thank you so much Sandra. Yes my friend died 17 Oct 2010 & was burried on 21 her sons 25th Birthday. I really do miss her so much.

    I dunno but this time of year always makes me sad. Will be glad when New Years over & everything gets back to normal.

    I have fibro pain & I cant get comfortable, I can cope with that but the mental anxiety. & panic attacks are much worse. Going to GP next Thursday.

    Thanks for your concern & support, it is much appreciated.

    You take care.

    Jackie xxx

  • Hi Jackie

    Hope your feeling a bit brighter today and not in as much pain i have a couple of friends that have the same condition and they say its not nice at all, added that you have the panic attacks is not good i hate the panic and anxiety that is what gets to me the most in my logical mind i think its so stupid but then i cant stop them but they have gotten a lot better by actually forcing myself to push through them and then realising that it was not that bad.

    Everyone is different though and well i think my meds helped me to be honest, i feel like you alot of the time in the sense that i think why cant i just die in my sleep why do i have to keep suffering and what the hell did i do to deserve this lot, but then on another day i just dont think about it, so i really wonder how much our mind on the loose has to do with it you know when you have nothing else to focus on that it then goes to that spot.

    Its great you have family even if you feel you cant speak to them they are nearby and that is really important, but i wonder if there is something really bothering you deep down that your doing the pacing hmm only you can answer that one but I am always here for you to support you and hope your feeling better

    Stay safe

    Helen xxx

  • Hi Helen

    Thank you for your reply. I have asked myself that question many many times. Am I subconciously burrying something & I cant get to the root of the problem. Today I took an extra Venlafaxine & I feel a lot calmer. Also my son called this morning when I was in bed & told me to get up & get ready he needed me to go somewhere with him. I did & we drove out to a lovely old farmhouse shop & butchers (alright for a treat) you could'nt do your normal shopping there & from coming home again I feel much much better. My son has lived with me on our own from he was 8 & bless him he can spot the signs.

    I dont think I'll take an extra Venlafaxine, try one every other day until I get my appointment with Physciatrist.

    Once again thank you Helen. Oh yea I find I do pace about a lot when I am anxious.

    Luv & Hugs

    Jackie xx

  • yes i have tried that and it has worked my problem was that i was on 225mg and then i was cut down to 150mg then the bad statements came in from the ex husband just attacking me so i nearly did something silly but saw the signs and got help and the doctor said lets just go back up to 225 and get through all the court case we dont want you to go backwards after all your hard work and i put in the repeat via the online got there and they had only given me 150 so i am zig zagging all over the place at the moment but do find that sometimes when it gets too much if i take an extra one it seems to settle me as i am on the same as you.

    Glad you had a good day, yes farm shops are not for everyday shopping unless you have that money but always nice way to escape the house xx

    depending on the amount your on you could even just ring the service and they may say just take an extra half a tablet as you know they can just make a call and confirm it xx

    Hope that it keeps you safe that is all that matters and yep always here for you

    Helen

    xx

  • Thank you Helen

    I will see my own GP nxt Thursday but because I am on a high dose he cant say anything because 225mg is the highest amount given by a GP. I can understand you being all over the place with the up & down of your dosage. They are a hard drug to withdraw from & have the most horrible withdrawal effects. Sometimes people missing their next dose can upset their systom.

    It has been a good med for me as it lifted my depression/anxiety/panic altogether for around 4 yrs but I do feel I have had ups & downs this year & it makes me feel I've become imune. I dont know what the Physciatrist will suggest because I am sure I will have to come of them to try another which will be hard. Or they will just suggest upping the dose & I dont feel thats the right way to go. I have terrible emarrassing sweats with them too which also makes me not want to go out. Hell I dont know whats best?

    My Dad comes from a big family & his Mum, my Granny, 2 Aunts & 2 of his brothers suffered badly with depression. My Granny & one of his brothers had to be taken into hospital for physciatric treatment. One of my Aunts daughters has Bi-Polar. She gets manic & does crazy things, I on the other hand just get very low.

    I hope you are feeling that bit better Helen.

    Luv & Hugs

    Jackie xx

  • Thank you Helen

    I will see my own GP nxt Thursday but because I am on a high dose he cant say anything because 225mg is the highest amount given by a GP. I can understand you being all over the place with the up & down of your dosage. They are a hard drug to withdraw from & have the most horrible withdrawal effects. Sometimes people missing their next dose can upset their systom.

    It has been a good med for me as it lifted my depression/anxiety/panic altogether for around 4 yrs but I do feel I have had ups & downs this year & it makes me feel I've become imune. I dont know what the Physciatrist will suggest because I am sure I will have to come of them to try another which will be hard. Or they will just suggest upping the dose & I dont feel thats the right way to go. I have terrible emarrassing sweats with them too which also makes me not want to go out. Hell I dont know whats best?

    My Dad comes from a big family & his Mum, my Granny, 2 Aunts & 2 of his brothers suffered badly with depression. My Granny & one of his brothers had to be taken into hospital for physciatric treatment. One of my Aunts daughters has Bi-Polar. She gets manic & does crazy things, I on the other hand just get very low.

    I hope you are feeling that bit better Helen.

    Luv & Hugs

    Jackie xx

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