Just to say Hi

hello there, I have joined today so thought I would let you all know abit about me. Im 27 unemployed Dental Nurse and married. I have had depression for a few years now and I take amitriptyline 50mg (just got increased to 75 today). I have alot of family problems. My husband has schizophrenia and has been sectioned twice this year. One of these times, he threatned 2 kill me. My family has now disowned me as I stayed with him, but I wanted to leave him but I have no where to go and I got told by my mum I couldn't move back home.

I had to leave my job as I was taking 2 much time off looking after my husband. We were also trying for a baby and I can't get pregnant so I was starting tests. I started feeling really bad the day before xmas eve, so bad I thought about suicide.Been 2 drs today and I have to start counciling and increase my meds and see him next week.

Sorry for the rant! my life is very complicated and its nice to find that I'm not alone

Dawn x

3 Replies

oldestnewest
  • Hi

    Given what's been happening to you and your circumstances you have certainly not ranted! Even if you had, that's what the website's for. It sounds like you are having a hard time at the moment, but you obviously have insight and abilities. Is it possible for you to find alternative care for your husband so that you can return to work which would give you an outlet and perhaps some support? It's bound to get you down living with the difficulty your husband has presented. Is he getting appropriate help, perhaps from the CAMHs team? You don't say whether you love your husband or wanted to leave him because you feel the relationship is over? I do hope you managed to have some good experiences over Christmas and that things improve over the New Year. Do write again,

    Suexx

  • Yep i am with sue on that one, i am still looking for the rant lol, sorry firstly welcome to the mad house, no welcome to this most wonderful site, oh i just want to give you a really big hug and say it will all be ok but there is alot going on for you and its a hard time.

    Dawn you have done really well, and yes do you still want to leave your husband if so maybe you could speak to your mum again and say look i need somewhere safe to stay as i am leaving him and am struggling at the moment would i please be able to stay with you for a little while so i can get things sorted, I think maybe its best not to think about children for now, and to focus on you.

    Your husband is in the right place and they will be treating him and making sure he takes his medication and that they are getting it right that is why he is there and that is why he is under section, maybe you could speak to his care worker and you could both meet with him and discuss that he needs to ensure he takes the medication etc or you have no choice but to walk away he is an adult and he needs to look after himself

    It is not fair that its now your job to also care for him when you are also struggling, I am also sure that your family are trying in a way to protect themselves as well, there are local domestic violence offices around the country and also you can speak to the council housing section with regards to womens refuge as it would be you moving out as he would just keep returning to the home and well it could turn nasty, now domestic violence may be able to help you finding somewhere safe, its not saying you have been affected but they may be easier to locate and they can also assign you a worker. that you can just talk to about the options, just trying to point you in the right direction

    We are all here and we will support you in any way that we can but its up to you to make that big decision have you had enough that you now feel i cant spend the rest of my life like this i deserve better we all have to live our own lives and you can not spend your life looking after someone that is not going to appreciate you back

    Helen xx

  • hello

    thank u all for your comments :) I'm feeling better today as I slept 12 hours! I am still going to leave him as I don't trust him at all. he run up debts of £2000 on my credit card with out me knowing about it, luckily his parents paid it off. He still now wants to buy stuff, had 2 stop him buying a tv last week and a £29 toaster yesterday. I don't think the trust will ever come back. Its hard because we have pets and we don't want to lose them. I think we will carry on living together till I get a job then I can move out. I also don't think Im in love with him anymore, it's hard to tell when I feel like this

    As for my parents, I can't see things ever getting better. She isn't bothered about my safety. When I told her he had threatned to kill me, she said don't think u are moving home me and your dad doesn't want him coming here. Luckily, I have 2 close friends who I can confide in.

    Hubby is now back at work full time but is having psychological therapy instead of taking medication (another lie he said he was taking them but he wasn't) He is very unpredictable. I am currently on the domestic abuse register but he has never touched me. I don't like upsetting him incase he does do something to me.

    Hope u are all well

    Dawn xx

You may also like...