Well I went to my GP today in a state of Anxiety. She was so nice I think she made me worse.
I told her about my Tribunal today at 3pm & that I felt I cant go through it. I told ber how bad I was on Saturday that I felt I wanted to go to hospital Pbysciatric Unit & ask them to take me in & help me.
She has given me Some Diazipam to keep me calm but I can tell you it worked for a while this pm but I can feel it coming back.
She checked my BP which is always high & she said its higher than its ever been & that my heart beat is very fast. I can actually feel it & its not lalpatations I am feeling.
She thi ks its because of the stress I am under about the ESA Tribunal. I'd say in part it is but I have been feeling my depression rising for a while now & with it comes the anxiety.
She has told me if I still feel the same in a couple of days to come back.
She is also referring me back to the CPN again & they may refer me to Physciatrist again.
I just wonder is it because I have been on the same AD at a high dose for 5 years my body is becoming imune go it. They prescribe you these drugs & leave yku to it. They never follow up on how you are?
Anyway I feel its going to be another long night of no sleep again. I have been like this for a week now. I am beyond exhausted.
Last week at my Mock Hearing when questioned by my Representative I could'nt answer his questions. I could tell he was getting frustrated which did'nt hp me.
I have had a week & thought of nothing else. I am now feeling if I can get words out of my mouth I will tell them exactly how my mental health effects me on a daily basis from the heart. What will be will be. My son is also picking me up & coming with me. He is a good lad for 22 & seems older beyond his years. He knows how to help keep me in control. I dont know if they will let him come in with me?
Anyway thats my report & I will let you know what happens. My main worry is that I take a a panic attack during it?
Best wishes to you all.