Feeling crippled with Anxiety

Hi all

I have my ESA Tribunal coming up on Tues 18 afternoon.

Last Tuesday I went to see my representative for a mock hearing. A few weeks ago he gave me a letter & 2 questions for the panel to address.

On Tuesday my son came with me & was in on the Mock hearing. My Representative is basing my appeal on my Mental Health as that is what I was first signed off with. However since then I have also been diagnosed with Fibromyalgia. He does not want my Fibro to be brought into question as it should be treated as a fresh claim. Anyway he gave me a copy of the letter & questions a couple of weeks ago. On my way to see him I felt physically sick with nerves & anxiety. I could not answer any of the questions, he was getting very frustrated with me which I felt did'nt help me. My son later told me that the Representative was telling me how to answer the questions. I now have to go see my Representative 3 hrs before my hearing so that he can go through the procedure again with me.

Whe we came home my son (bless him) done me out a question & answers chart & asked me to think about how I feel in respect to the questions in my real life. Since Tuesday I have been able to fill 2 A4 pages with answers. The thing thay causes me most worry is that I've been told the questions will be asked only in different ways. I may sound stupid but this really scares me. I dont know what to expect, I have so much anxiety I have been in bed since Tuesday evening & I am a bundle of nerves with a few panic attacks thrown in.

My son called to see me & looked at my answers & told me I had done well. Its ok telling me that in the safefty of my home & writing answers down. I am scared sick that on the day my mind will go blank & I cant answer these oeople.

I am a total wreck at the moment. I can handle pain but depression & anxiety is totally different to me. I lock myself away & cut myself off from people. I honestly dont know if I can go through with this procedure.

Has anyone else gone through an ESA Tribunal? If so can you tell me what it is like?

My Mum made a comment to me saying "I dont know why you bother going through that, why dont you just get a job". She later apologised as I lost a jib I was in for 22 yrs due to my Mental Health problems & the same thing happened again with a job I got & lasted 4 years before being paind off on health grounds.

This anxiety is absolutely killing me. Is it worth it all?

Jackie

12 Replies

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  • Hi

    I'm sorry you are going through such a tough time at the moment, and yes it is worth it! I'm not suprised you are worried about the tribunal, most people would be stressed by the idea of one, I know I would, but in general they are not there to catch you out so just say if you are struggling, tell them in a straightforward way and say you need time to look at your sheet as you've worked out the answers because you knew you would get flustered. They are only human. If they do stress you then tell them so politely and if you feel hurt or upset by anything then say so. The more you are honest with them the more likely they are to believe you and understand how you are feeling and how difficult you are finding things.

    I do hope it goes well,

    Suex

  • Thank you Sue

    That has made me feel a little better. I was'nt aware I could say things like that to them. The Representative I have (who I dont like) makes me feel like I'm going into a court of law & being tried for a criminal offence. Its all to late to change him now. I hope I can cope on the day. I will let you know how I get on.

    Thank you

    Jackie

  • Hi, I just want to say good luck at your tribunial. Its true that a mental health team and also particularly psychiatrists can make you feel like a criminal on trial instead of offering their full support, but please do not feel intimidated by any of them. . What they do not tell you is that NO mental disorder can be scientifically proven to exist by any blood or laboratory test. Most of it is pure theory yet they have the cheek to talk about disorders as though they were real diseases. You may be very interested to read a book called "Beyond Prozac" by Doctor Terry Lynch. It would probably empower you to stick up for yourself and feel confident. Also before the tribunial visit cchr.org for an insight into psychiatry. .

    Starting from now take high strength vitamin B complex and cut out stimulants like coffee. Drink soothing cammomile tea for your nerves. Get plenty of sleep and drink horlicks at night. Also Try omega 3 fish oils to help you to concentrate. they are good for the brain . There are also lots of homeopathic remedies for anxiety . It may be worth you seeing a homeopathic doctor if you can They could also help you with your fibro myalgia.

    I have helped someone get through mental health tribunials and we won. Believe me psychiatry is not all it is cracked out to be. Stay strong and you will succeed. Psychiatrists do not seem to want people to recover from mental illness. They prefer you to stay their patient for life and will drug and label you for life if you let them. Good luck again. Ill say a prayer for you x

  • Thank you so much Optimistic. I will look for the book on my Kindle. I already do take Omega 3 Fish Oil Caps 3 x daily. I dont drink tea or coffee & have cut out fizzy drinks. I drink mainly water or diluted juice. Must try the vitamin B's. I used to have to get Vit B12 injections once a month for my tiredness. Dont know why they stopped. I am on 300mg of Venlafaxine. Was on 375 but have tried to get off them many timez only to find the withdrawals dven with Drs support horrendous.

    I'm going to go see my GP on Monday to let them know how I am feeling. Its all dragging me down. I can cope with physical pain but not this mental anxiety.

    Thank you.

    Best wishes

    Jackie

  • Hi, I think if you read the book by Terry Lynch, it will make you want to change your life. I also think the venlafaxine will be making you tired . These type of drugs deplete the body of natural vitamins and so if you take them longterm you will end up feeling low. Its hard to get off them and some doctors will keep you on them for years which is easier for them and it makes profit for the drug companies. I also think these drugs will be making your fibromyalgia worse. I think mental and physical health go hand in hand and doctors need to treat the whole person . In America, 1 in 5 people are now taking 1 or more psychiatric drug and psychiatrists are merely inventing more disorders with drugs to treat them. Soon it will be a disorder to even breathe!.. Did you know they want to class toddler tantrums as being a mental disorder and even young kids are now being prescribed antipsychotic and antidepressant drugs. Its a disgrace that psychiatry is allowed to medicalise even the most normal human behaviour.

    Dont feel intimidated by them , you are a better person. Tell them you dont want to live your life on drugs and say you would like some alternative therapy. You could ask them for free sport therapy , so you could go swimming to help your fibromyalgia. Try and stay calm and take a good friend with you. for support. Also before you go visit cchr.org

    Try and watch "Psychiatry an industry of death". I personally have lost all respect for these mental health so called professionals, I think they are the ones with the problems!

    Let me know how you get on x

  • Thank you once again Optimistic

    I have dowloaded the book Life beyond Prozac to my Kindle this evening.

    I had myself in such an anxios state this afternoon I had to phone & get my Father down because I felt so scared & the palpations etc were wrecking me. I just felt I needed someone who understood me to take to.

    Bearing in mind I am 50 yrs old & have been treated for this illness for 19 yrs. I hate the Venlafaxine & really want to get of it as is has horrible side effects like the constant sweats which make me feel I am ashamed

    to to out as my hair is always soaking wet & the sweat trickles down my face.

    I felt better & calmer after my Dad had been. I had my dinner & was then hit with an overwhelming tiredness. I would say I was in bed & asleep by 8pm. Its now 1.32 am & I feel I've had my nights sleep over me.

    My parents are still quite young as they hadcme at an early age. My Mum is 67 & Dad is 68.

    My son who is 22 is coming with me on Tuesday. He is very good & we switched on. He will be a good support to me.

    Thank you once again. I think I will now do a bit of reading on the book.

    Best wishes

    Jackie

  • P.S. please excuse the typos as I am using my phone & cant alway see what I am typing in.

    Jackie

  • OMG I have just watched the video. Many years ago I was sent to the local Physciatry Hospital & prescribed Largactil which I believe a Physcotic drug. I know whilst taking it all I coukd do was sleep & when awake my speech was very slurred. Wben I went to my GPs surgery kne if the GPs who knows me from a chikd took me ofc it & said I did not need it. I did however continue to take what I bekieve was Prozac at the time.

    I have since been returned to the Physciatric. Unit twice & hence I am now on a large dkseage of Venlfaxine which can only be prescribed by a Physciatrist.

    I hope & pray I get the help to come of this drug. I have watched YouTube clips about leople taking the capsule apart & removing one granule at a time. I hope I dont become one of them.

    Jackie

  • I used to think like you that psychiatrists knew what they were talking about. My mum was on drugs for years for what started as depression. I never questioned it at all but have since realised that a growing number of people think psychiatry is a load of nonsense. They gave my mum tardive dyskinesia so she was permanantly shaking. The drugs affect the central nervous system and can do permanant damage, also as I told you NO psychiatric disorder can be proven to exist. Keep reading the Terry Lynch book. I had to go to a tribunial with my mum and I got a solicitor and we won hands down. The psychiatrist stormed out of the room because he had been questioned and pulled to pieces about my mums treatment. I said to him at the end. "Why dont you go and take a tranquillisor now.!"

    Did you go to www.cchr .org? They are campaigning to stop the drugging of children. No one is safe these days, they are turning everything under the sun into being a disorder. It is because many psychiatrists especially in the States have financial ties to the big drug companies Remember this at your tribunial. You are a obviouslly a very sweet and vunerable person. Dont be afraid to speak up for yourself x

  • Hi

    Yes I did go to the site & I totally agree with you. Believe it or not I have 3 nephews who have been diagnosed with ADHD & are prescribed Retalin. I think its wrong. I feel in my own mind its just down to a case of poor parenting. The kids are never disaplined, they just get told not to do that. My son growing up would have been the same & because my ex husband & I separated when he was only 8 I felt I had to play the role of both parents & gave him a good smack when he needed it. I was'nt abusive, sometimes I only had to raise my voice. Thats how my brother & I were treated growing up & it did us no harm. Now I get complemented on how well mannered & friendly young man has turned out. It does make me feel proud because I done it on my own. He always considers other peoples feelings & has been a rkck for me.

    As for the tribunal I dont know what kind of Doctor will be on the panel. Although it feels like it is physically wrecking me I will fight as hard as I can.

    Yes I will read the book tonight & tomorrow & hopefully finish it for Tuesday.

    I am forcing myself to Mums for dinner today, I know I need to get out. She will pick me up. I am also going to see my GP in the morning about how I have been feeling. I now feel Tuesday cant come quick enough which I feel is a bit of an improvement.

    I will keep you posted on how everything goes.

    Jackie

  • Enjoy your dinner and try not to worry. Your son sounds lovely. He will always stand by you . Just starting to cook our dinner now. Have a lovely day x

  • Thank you. You too.

    Jackie X

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