Life

Hi,

When i was in my 20s i was fairly happy. As the the years have gone by its seems the reasons to feel down and depressed have increased and the reasons to be happy have diminished. Failed personal relationships, an increasing sense of meaningless or purpose at wotk, very little friends, I now find activities Inow found boring. An increasing sense of isolation. I have no partner or children. I foresee only old age and loneliness. I'm 42.

I think the loneliness and sense of meaning are the biggest issues. Any ideas?

5 Replies

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  • Hi

    Sorry to hear you are feeling these way and I can relate to those feelings so you are not alone. What I would suggest is you go and speak with you doctor if you feel able to as they will be able to chat things through with you and offer any treatments if required. I found group therapy to be helpful for me as I was able to talk and share experiences with others who cold relate and also got the social contact. Let us know how you are getting on we are here to support you.

  • Hi,

    This is so typical of what depression does to the mind. It drains all the pleasures from life. Everything you used to enjoy has fallen into the pit of despair. The thing is, the things we enjoy, change as we travel through life and learn different skills and talents and we forget to change with them. Look at the smallest part of your life that makes you smile when you even think about doin it. Sometimes the smallest step towards a goal that seemed insurmountable can take you to new found pleasures that you never thought possible.

    In a world of the 'I WANT' brigade, think of not what you want, but what you 'Need'. Something simple can change your day, week and so on. I've started to find the real pleasures in the simplest of things, walking in the forest, watching the ducks on the pond.

    Find a simple thing and try it, what have you got to lose..

    Take care

    Rob.

  • I know how you feel. I too am 42 and feel as though life has ripped the soul from me...failed relationship after another..now single..career gone wrong..no real friends. It's true that the loneliness and sense of isolation will make your depression seem worse. Have you been to see your GP? He may prescribe medication which may help to take the edge off your feelings of anxiety and despair.

    I look in the mirror and all I see is is a miserable woman. Yet, others tell me that I am attractive and a lovely person. I too feel old and washed up at 42 but 42 is not really old is it? You still have a lot of life left, though I know it doesn't seem like it at the moment.

    What Rob1722 says is so true: forgetting everything that has happened...what makes you happy, it could be such a simple thing such as going for a short walk. People moan at this time of year as it is getting colder and the days shorter but today I derived pleasure from a short walk alongside a local lake, just before the sun set. I sat on a bench and just watched the world go by: young mothers with their toddlers feeding the ducks, an angry swan! dogs running & chasing each other. I find I feel worse when I am alone so I try to get out if I can or have the radio or TV on in the background. No, loneliness is not good for the soul. We are not meant to be alone. Do you have any hobbies?

    Could you join a social group of like-minded people? I I feel a lot better after I have been to a gym class though it does take effort and I tend to put off for weeks sometimes. But, I do feel much better afterwards. I love writing, so have though of joining a writing class. I also find that keeping a journal or simply putting your thoughts on paper helps.

    Volunteering is another thing that you could do if you have any spare time. It will get you out and about and interacting with others and you will feel good about yourself afterwards.

    You are not alone. There are lots us going through the same thing. I read today that there are 6 million people in the UK on antidepressants.

    Take care x

  • Thank you Ziggy. Its make u feel better that people feel the same way. Thanks for the advice and ideas. U r right about going to the local park, its relaxing and peaceful. I think I should get back to that. I think a class and volunteering r good ideas.

    Its so important to feel wanted, and to have some kind of meaning and not invisible. What really got me down is going to the town centre and not speaking to anybody for hour after hour. u r just invisible. Your comments are helpful.

    Take care Andy aka Humphrey

  • Hi, I just read your blog. Loneliness is the worst feeling in the world especially at this time of year. I dont think going to see an overworked GP is the answer but the answer does lie inside of you if you can find it. Firstly realise there are millions of people out there who feel as you do . Also be kind to yourself and if you can, take up a hobby , be it anything that you enjoy. Sport and exercise is amazing especially swimming. It really gives you a boost. Also have you thought about joining a good dating agency or if all else fails. get a dog. They love you nomatter what. I myself am going through a terrible time since my mother has recently passed away and I know how you feel. The thing is I think we always presume that everyone else is happy but at the moment there are lots of unhappy people because of this recession and also society has become quite divided. Dont worry too much. Try and spoil yourself. You only live once remember that !

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