Should I move house and location whilst being treated for Depression

Hi, new to the site but thought I would try as I have no one else to talk to about what is worrying me at the moment.

I am off work with depression and being treated with meds which still need looking at. Ive also recently gone through quite a painful divorce after being seperated for over 4 years.

Im in a new relationship and my new partner wants to move house and location with me, at first I thought it would help me move on but now the more I think about leaving famililar surroundings the worse I feel.

My ex lives in the same village about 3 streets away from me and it has been hard trying to forget the past.

I feel very confused but most of all ill.

I dont know what to do anymore and the feeling is now becoming so overwhelming that I want to withdraw from life again.

I'd appreciate any advice that can be given here.

11 Replies

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  • How do you see this relationship going? Is it likely to be long-term?

    How far away will you be moving? Will you lose touch with your friends and medical support?

    How much of an advantage will it be not to see your ex?

    Does your new partner have work in the new location?

    These are just a few things to consider in a kind of cost-benefit analysis to work out what is best for you.

    Ann

  • Hi Ann,

    Thank you for your response.

    I have been in the new relationship 8 months now, it may lead to long term but whilst I have all these thoughts and worries in my head I feel that I am the one that cannot even think about the future.

    The move is about 20 miles away and is nearer for my new partner to get to work, it is further for me to travel to work but as I will have use of my partners car then, I should be able to get to work within 30 minutes.

    I will have to register at a new GP practice.

    I dont have any friends in the area I am at the moment but I am close to my daughter and grand daughter. If I move then we would both have to make more of an effort to see each other.

    Best Regards

    Nicky

  • Yes work out the pros and cons financially and medically.If moving your GP may be able to refer you to a practise he knows.You need to consider if your new relationship is long term and if leaving the medical practise you know will be a negative for you.for many people a new place, relationship and GP is the best choice.Good luck to you and keep in touch.

  • Hi Hecter,

    Thank you for your response.

    When I have been feeling ok, I try and look at the move as a fresh start and can feel positive about it.

    But when I think of actually physically moving then my thought process goes haywire and mentally I just want to shut down.

    Best Regards

    Nicky

  • It sounds like you are being overwhelmed by problems and decisions . No wonder you feel depressed. Maybe you should try and have a holiday if you can and pamper yourself a bit. Whatever you do. Dont think that antidepressants will sort out your problems. They only mask symptoms and can also become addictive. Try to rise above everything and look at it from a different perspective. Dont make rash decisions like moving unless you are absolutely sure. Talking to a counsellor might help you or a really good friend Good luck

  • HI Optimistc9

    Thank you for your response.

    I have spoken to a Counsellor about this move and she feels that it would be god for me - fresh start and all that.

    I agree with the anti depressants, they just keep me a float at the moment and I realise that I may still think and feel the same when\if I move.

    Im not sure about moving, part of me feels it may be what I need and part of me feels unable to move from what has been my home village for the last 16 years.

    Thank you for your advice.

    Best Rgards

    Nicky

  • Hi

    You say your partner wants to forget the past whereas it sounds as though you know you can't. I imagine that your different approaches to life could become quite an issue between you both in time and perhaps you also wonder about that. Before considering moving you might talk with a relationship counsellor perhaps at Relate and see whether you can come to a joint decision so that you are not left feeling you moved against your will and not feeling overwhelmed by a decision which you should not have to be making.

    Try to find someone you can both talk things through with together.

    Sue

  • Hi Sue (Secondhandrose),

    Thank you for your response.

    It is myself that cannot move on, and I thought that as my ex only lives 3 streets away from myself that this may be holding be back.

    I am due to see my Therapist again this week and will discuss my fears with her. Maybe its just too soon for me to move and I should wait until I feel better before even considering it.

    I was the one who decided to move because of how ill I feel, the depression has a lot to do with my divorce. I was the one that left the maritial home because I was unhappy (lots of relationship probs), I know that I am grieving and perhaps I should give myself a bit longer before I even consider relocating.

    I have spoken to my new partner about my change of heart but he feels the move would be good for me.

    Thank you again for your advice

    Best Regards

    Nicky

  • great, I'm glad you have a therapist to talk things over with. It does take time to get over a break up. Sue

  • Thanks Sue,

    At the moment I feel that I cant face the move, my head is full of negative thoughts and its making me anxious again.

    I will discuss with Therapist tomorrow to see if she can make me think from another prospective. But when the depression really kicks in again its really hard to let anything else in, if that makes sense.

    Nicky

  • Hi

    Yes, I wonder if you want to get away from your ex as a way of trying to get away from the feelings?

    Sue

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