struggling

[Lhc22]

I'm new to this, I'm just totally desperate to find something to make me feel better.

My partner shows total resentment towards me and my depression. If i tell him I am having a bad day he accuses me of attention seeking. He only ever makes time for me if I am happy. He tells me not to talk to him because he doesn't want to be made miserable. I feel like I'm constantly acting like a different person to please other people.

I'm exhausted. I work full time and also study full time. I work 9-5:30 and study every evening. I am trying to achieve a career but I can never concentrate on a topic for more than 10 minutes at a time.

I just feel totally stuck, I'm miserable in my life and I just do not see any sign of improvement.

[Goldfish_]

So what have you done to try and improve things?

Have your seen your doctor, tried mood gym, counselling, medication, lifestyle stuff?

[Lhc22 in reply to Goldfish_]

I've been to and from the doctors for years, I am on a low dose beta blocker to reduce my symptoms and I exercise 5 times a week. I eat well and I'm active. I'm busy almost all of the time.

I write diaries, I try to meditate. I really have tried everything.

I can be fine for weeks, then I just fall into a hole and I cannot see out of it. I think thats where I am at right now. But I've just started a new job and I really do not want to fall any deeper into this.

So I thought I would give this a go.

[Goldfish_ in reply to Lhc22]

That sound good

So what about an antidepressant?

Also lookup mood gym on the internet

[Lhc22 in reply to Goldfish_]

I always reject anti-depressants because I worry I'll never come off them

[Goldfish_ in reply to Lhc22]

Well if you want to get more benefits you will need to give them a go. They are not addictive and are easy to stop. It sounds like this should be your next step

[Photogeek in reply to Lhc22]

Hi there and welcome, maybe you need to examine your relationship , is it contributing to your stress and Depression, your partner sounds very unsupportive , and I am wondering what makes you stay with someone like this?

Sometimes we need to be very honest with ourselves about Depression, I do this and it helps me.

Hannah

[Lhc22 in reply to Photogeek]

when I'm happy he's everything I've wished for and more.

When I'm down, he's a nightmare.

He wants a roses around the door lifestyle but I try to explain that isn't realistic

[Hidden in reply to Lhc22]

I hope that this doesn't sound harsh, I only mean to help, but it sounds rather like he's only prepared to do the relationship one-way, with you providing him with the means necessary for HIM to be happy but he won't make the effort himself to provide that support back. It's him that wants all the attention. I agree totally with Photogeek. A good relationship has to be two-way. Otherwise it's more like being a parent with a young child who is totally dependant on them for their emotional needs.

Don't be scared of anti-depressants. I can't get off mine but I'm perfectly willing to accept that. Can be hard to not be depressed when in a lot of pain and some people simply don't make enough of the right chemicals/hormones etc. What's wrong with taking something to correct that imbalance? You'd take insulin if you were a diabetic. (That's how I see it anyway!!)

I do wish you the best of luck.

[Mitch2001]

I hate my life talk to me mate I'm fed up to

[Lhc22 in reply to Mitch2001]

Hey Mitch, what's up?

[Petitepam]

Hi, you have given yourself a very busy life. It seems to me that you are following everything the media tells us will give you a healthy happy life but what they say isn't for real life. Slow down, think about what would really make you happy.

I don't know your partner but you chose him for a reason. Give up a night of unsuccessful study and see if you can both 'reconnect with a date night.

If we are lucky life is a marathon not a sprint, so slowing down is okay, you are in control of your life.

[Hidden]

Hi nice to meet you and welcome to the site.

I can't add to the excellent replies you have already had but need to ask you to familiarise yourself with the rules if you haven't already. Thank you. x

[Lhc22 in reply to Hidden]

The rules?

[Hidden]

Yes. When you sign up as a member you are asked to read the rules of the site.

You will find those at the bottom of the page. x

[chloe40]

Hi Lhc22,

A warm welcome to our friendly Forum. Please read the Community Guidelines on the right hand side of this page under pinned posts, thank you.

Chloe

[Lhc22 in reply to chloe40]

I've read the guidelines and sorry if I'm missing something but I do not understand what I have said wrong?

[WhiteAlice in reply to Lhc22]

You didn't. The volunteers & administratirs tell all newbies to check the guidelines. Tgey keep te well oiled machine moving.