First ever post....be gentle

I have spent a very short while reading some posts in the forum and I feel almost selfish and self centred seeking help and advice from you guys as I dont think I have half as many struggles as most. Over the last ten years I have been (both medically and self aknowledged) suffering from depression. I feel absolutely brilliant some weeks/months and utterly worthless the next. I have only seen my doctor about it twice before until now but unsure (within the UK) what the right path to go down is. I am taking the tablets prescribed by the doc but unsure whether to pursue to avenue of one to one psychiatric consultation. To be honest my biggest fear is being told I'm going about everything the wrong way and its all my fault, which it probably is. I definitely need to make a positive change in myself as its affecting my relationship with my children and also having a negative affect on my marriage. Since Ive started off being nice and honest I'll continue that. One major factor I reckon that definitely isn't helping at the moment is my alcohol consumption which has increased dramatically over the last 6 months, although without it I cant sleep. So without dragging up anymore of my nonsense I'm asking you guys where you think I should be aiming for. I'm usually an exceptionally private person but reading everyone elses posts made me feel comfortable for the first time in a very long time about being open and honest about how I truly feel. I want to be better for not only my kids and my wife but for me, no one should have to feel this way!

6 Replies

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  • Hi Dave

    Good that you posted, some people are worse off and suffering from more extreme episodes and levels of depression but the way that you feel is what is important here.

    If you feel that you have the energy and a bit of self discipline then rather than getting on a very long waiting list for counselling, you could try some online CBT, the Aussie MoodGym is free and solid if a bit old fashioned.

    BUT you might want to get on the list as a 6 week block of CBT with a trained proffessional may be what you need and will help you in opening up. So chat over with the G.P again.

    You have already recognised the booze as an issue, it will be having a negative effect on your sleep even if you are using it to get off. Have a look on line at some of the sleep hygiene advice and at a rate you are comfortable with start making a change. Alcohol, as much as I enjoy it is now a tiny part of my life and one less self inflicted wound that stops me from being better.

    The massive positive here is you have identified that you have an issue that needs dealing with and want to sort it. Now you have reconised it the process of sorting it could take a while so go easy on yourself when you are trying.

    I am sure others on the site will have other good advice as well. Hope this is useful in the first instance. Feel free to get in touch anytime.

    Cheers, Matt

  • Lifestyle, cbt and medication is the way forward and since you seem to have done very little of this to date, the prospects for you are good.

    Again the Australian site "beyond blue" may help.

    Also mind website

    Guilt and shame are often part of depression as we function in a self critical way, but you need to act on problem solving.

    Alcohol is a great concern and better to find medication with your GP for both your mood and sleep.

    Good luck

    Dave

  • Hi Dave,

    first of all well done for posting, it takes a lot of strength to be able to talk about these things and admit when we need help. Secondly, try not to compare yourself to others. You are allowed to feel how you feel and it doesn't matter whether other people have it 'worse' your struggles are real and it is not selfish to want to reach out for advice.

    I would say in the first instance go to your gp and explain what you have put here. If you need to write it down in order to help you get it all out then do so and show it to them. Don't hold back info from them as it will not help you in the long run. The more open you are, the more they can help.

    Seeing a psychiatrist would be hugely beneficial, as they can identify exactly what is wrong and are better qualified to prescribe appropriate medication. They can also then refer you for talking therapies (such as cbt) to help you gain the tools needed to get through this. It may take time and I do think Matts advice of looking into online resources is a good idea in the meantime. When you do eventually get an appointment for some therapy, even if you feel well at the time go for it as it will allow you to start getting in place ways of coping when your mood drops again.

    As hard as it is, try not to blame yourself. Depression is not the fault of the person suffering, it is a fault in their brain producing the right chemicals to regulate mood. Medication helps, as does therapy, but neither can solve the problem when done without the other.

    Last thing, you are not selfish or unworthy of help. Everyone deserves happiness. You are also not alone and I really hope this community provides you with a valuable lifeline while you get yourself on the road to recovery.

    xxxxx

  • Oh and also, lifestyle changes help massively. Eating healthy, exercising as much as you are able and keeping a regular sleep pattern (once you sort your insomnia) xxc

  • Hi there! Good on you for reaching out, I don't really have anything to add, others have given you great advice. I too suffer from depression, I can swing one way then the other from hour to hour, I am very affected by how my family treat me and constantly feel worthless, then pull myself up and know I have done my best for my family at great cost emotionally, physically and materially. But it's hard to stay positive. Everything that has been said by others is the right and best thing to do. And loads of you time to rest and cope wishing you well.

  • Hi I can't add to the great advice given except to say that alcohol is a known depressant so the more you drink the worse your depression will be. I do resort to alcohol on occasion when I really can't sleep but mainly I rely on ad's from the doctor - mirtazapine and find this helps me a lot. Don't ask for sleeping tablets as doctors are really chary of prescribing these nowadays. x

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